What happens if you ED and then back out?

[Anonymous]

What is with all these “decided we can’t afford it?”
Schools have the costs listed right up front on their websites.
The costs don’t suddenly double in the couple months between submitting an application and acceptance.

Unless the family can demonstrate that there was a major change in their financial situation in those few months (job loss, catastrophic medical bills, etc) there is no way to not know if you can afford it.

And don’t give me the “we thought we’d qualify for more aid…”
Tough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ED school my DC applied to and is attending in the fall was very clear that students did not have to accept the offer of admission if the family decided that they could not afford it. It seemed to be up to the family and not the NPC. This may be unusual. I don’t know because we didn’t look at applying to any other schools ED since it was my DC’s first choice.

Just wanted to add that I have seen college counselors say the same about this school’s policies so it may be unusual.

This, because colleges are not evil, despite the assertions of many here.

But also, this situation is not what this thread is mostly about, right? And you should withdraw your ED acceptance BEFORE the RD decisions are announced, and not after (assuming you received the FA/cost info by then).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The ED school my DC applied to and is attending in the fall was very clear that students did not have to accept the offer of admission if the family decided that they could not afford it. It seemed to be up to the family and not the NPC. This may be unusual. I don’t know because we didn’t look at applying to any other schools ED since it was my DC’s first choice.

Just wanted to add that I have seen college counselors say the same about this school’s policies so it may be unusual.

This, because colleges are not evil, despite the assertions of many here.

But also, this situation is not what this thread is mostly about, right? And you should withdraw your ED acceptance BEFORE the RD decisions are announced, and not after (assuming you received the FA/cost info by then).

What school lets the ED acceptance be put on hold until the RD decisions come out? The ED school would have tried to get an answer from the family and if they did not commit, said they would be not be coming due to cost or were nonresponsive, the place would have been offered to another student.

I don't understand what school will leave an ED offer hanging for months and months.

[Anonymous]

The posts about waiting to take up an ED acceptance only after hearing back from RD schools are such pitiful examples of the focus here -- in this area, on this board, in many local high schools -- on parents and students who

(a) Simply want bragging rights so they can say the kid got into schools X, Y and Z (even if kid isn't attending). Look at how desirable my kid is! What a great set of schools wanted MY kid!
(b) Think rules don't apply to them, so they believe the ED is just a sure thing to tuck into their back pockets while they are hoping to get in somewhere else, really.
(c) Believe they can game the system financially and say they can't afford the ED school, when, as a PP above rightly notes, families know well in advance what the ED school will cost, and they get financial aid information when they get the ED acceptance. Those families should never apply ED if they truly cannot afford the ED college even with whatever financial aid it offers.

Of course there are absolutely genuine situations where an ED accepted student ends up honestly unable to afford the college after all. It can and does happen. Colleges understand and so do HS counselors, and it's actually quite a sad situation for the student.

But there are definitely parents on this board who think in terms of ED simply being a sure-thing "yes" while they intend from the start to consider every other offer equally.

Most of all these people who claim they want their kids to hear from RD before acknowledging the ED acceptance are often parents whose kids are not, and never were, fully committed to that ED college. It was never the college that made the kid say, "Yes, if I am accepted EVERYWHERE I apply, I would STILL choose to go to this one college above all others." That's really what ED should be about, if one is going to use it at all. And it's why the student is supposed to withdraw all other applications as soon as the ED comes through, rather than waiting around to see which RD applications are accepted.

But the competitive, selfish parents and students in many of these threads think ED is just another tactic for ensuring Jr. gets in somewhere at least somewhat desirable. They don't consider that their kid's ED acceptance is possibly denying another kid a slot, or that backing out can damage the prospects of other kids from the same high school.

Because I know DCUM is full of snark: Full disclosure, I am not some embittered "my kid didn't get into X school ED" parent. Kid got into her most desired school ED and withdrew all other applications within 24 hours because she knew ED meant she really chose this college above all others. Even if every other one said yes to her, she would not have gone anywhere else anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS got ED. We haven’t withdrawn any applications. We want to see what other schools he gets into. We do intend to promptly notify of declination if he gets offers.

According to a PP, the ED school expects you to withdraw your other applications as soon as you received their acceptance.
Failing to do so could jeopardize the ED acceptance and if your school refuses to send transcripts to the other schools your child could end up without any options. Perhaps I misunderstood something but it sounds like a big risk.

NP. What risk? The high schools send transcripts to all of the other applicant schools weeks/ months ago.

Right. I don’t understand why everyone doesn’t do this. We aren’t going to accept any offer.

Because it means, if your child is accepted, they are taking away a spot from other students to be accepted RD who want to go. Are people really this selfish?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP, but I wish we could also withdraw. Mostly bc we got zero merit from the school my DD was accepted to ED. And plenty of merit aid from the other schools she was accepted to -- but I realize that is the risk we took, but still sucks. We thought there would be a little merit at least and now we will need to take out a loan.

You can get out of ED for financial reasons. If they don't offer you enough $$, you can say you can't afford it, and need to withdraw your ED. It happens. You'd have to prove it, possibly.

That’s about need based aid, not merit.

You can just say you can’t pay. They can’t force you to go and you won’t be sued. People back out for other reasons too (illness, mental health, etc).

They can't force you to go, but if they disagree with you that you can't pay, they can inform all of their overlap colleges that they are not releasing you from the ED contract. Those other colleges will not allow you to matriculate.

+1. The ED school can’t force attendance. They CAN (and will) ensure you don’t attend anywhere else. As will your guidance counselor, who also signed the ED agreement. She and the HS are also on the hook.

Another +1. I really think the people -- or it might be just one very dense person -- posting about how it's simple to get out of ED should see what a high school counselor would say to that idea. I think these "no one ever got sued, they can't force you to go" parents have no idea how the ED process affects the applicant's high school, not just the individual applicant. Colleges can and will look very badly on a high school where a student reneges on a commitment to ED, unless the student ends up having a documented problem getting need-based aid and must withdraw for that reason. And yes, it does matter what colleges think of a high school's reputation in this regard.

Definitely this, schools will generally reduce the number of applicants they accept from a high school in subsequent years if a student tries to play games with ED.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The posts about waiting to take up an ED acceptance only after hearing back from RD schools are such pitiful examples of the focus here -- in this area, on this board, in many local high schools -- on parents and students who

(a) Simply want bragging rights so they can say the kid got into schools X, Y and Z (even if kid isn't attending). Look at how desirable my kid is! What a great set of schools wanted MY kid!
(b) Think rules don't apply to them, so they believe the ED is just a sure thing to tuck into their back pockets while they are hoping to get in somewhere else, really.
(c) Believe they can game the system financially and say they can't afford the ED school, when, as a PP above rightly notes, families know well in advance what the ED school will cost, and they get financial aid information when they get the ED acceptance. Those families should never apply ED if they truly cannot afford the ED college even with whatever financial aid it offers.

Of course there are absolutely genuine situations where an ED accepted student ends up honestly unable to afford the college after all. It can and does happen. Colleges understand and so do HS counselors, and it's actually quite a sad situation for the student.

But there are definitely parents on this board who think in terms of ED simply being a sure-thing "yes" while they intend from the start to consider every other offer equally.

Most of all these people who claim they want their kids to hear from RD before acknowledging the ED acceptance are often parents whose kids are not, and never were, fully committed to that ED college. It was never the college that made the kid say, "Yes, if I am accepted EVERYWHERE I apply, I would STILL choose to go to this one college above all others." That's really what ED should be about, if one is going to use it at all. And it's why the student is supposed to withdraw all other applications as soon as the ED comes through, rather than waiting around to see which RD applications are accepted.

But the competitive, selfish parents and students in many of these threads think ED is just another tactic for ensuring Jr. gets in somewhere at least somewhat desirable. They don't consider that their kid's ED acceptance is possibly denying another kid a slot, or that backing out can damage the prospects of other kids from the same high school.

Because I know DCUM is full of snark: Full disclosure, I am not some embittered "my kid didn't get into X school ED" parent. Kid got into her most desired school ED and withdrew all other applications within 24 hours because she knew ED meant she really chose this college above all others. Even if every other one said yes to her, she would not have gone anywhere else anyway.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The posts about waiting to take up an ED acceptance only after hearing back from RD schools are such pitiful examples of the focus here -- in this area, on this board, in many local high schools -- on parents and students who

(a) Simply want bragging rights so they can say the kid got into schools X, Y and Z (even if kid isn't attending). Look at how desirable my kid is! What a great set of schools wanted MY kid!
(b) Think rules don't apply to them, so they believe the ED is just a sure thing to tuck into their back pockets while they are hoping to get in somewhere else, really.
(c) Believe they can game the system financially and say they can't afford the ED school, when, as a PP above rightly notes, families know well in advance what the ED school will cost, and they get financial aid information when they get the ED acceptance. Those families should never apply ED if they truly cannot afford the ED college even with whatever financial aid it offers.

Of course there are absolutely genuine situations where an ED accepted student ends up honestly unable to afford the college after all. It can and does happen. Colleges understand and so do HS counselors, and it's actually quite a sad situation for the student.

But there are definitely parents on this board who think in terms of ED simply being a sure-thing "yes" while they intend from the start to consider every other offer equally.

Most of all these people who claim they want their kids to hear from RD before acknowledging the ED acceptance are often parents whose kids are not, and never were, fully committed to that ED college. It was never the college that made the kid say, "Yes, if I am accepted EVERYWHERE I apply, I would STILL choose to go to this one college above all others." That's really what ED should be about, if one is going to use it at all. And it's why the student is supposed to withdraw all other applications as soon as the ED comes through, rather than waiting around to see which RD applications are accepted.

But the competitive, selfish parents and students in many of these threads think ED is just another tactic for ensuring Jr. gets in somewhere at least somewhat desirable. They don't consider that their kid's ED acceptance is possibly denying another kid a slot, or that backing out can damage the prospects of other kids from the same high school.

Because I know DCUM is full of snark: Full disclosure, I am not some embittered "my kid didn't get into X school ED" parent. Kid got into her most desired school ED and withdrew all other applications within 24 hours because she knew ED meant she really chose this college above all others. Even if every other one said yes to her, she would not have gone anywhere else anyway.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
The posts about waiting to take up an ED acceptance only after hearing back from RD schools are such pitiful examples of the focus here -- in this area, on this board, in many local high schools -- on parents and students who

(a) Simply want bragging rights so they can say the kid got into schools X, Y and Z (even if kid isn't attending). Look at how desirable my kid is! What a great set of schools wanted MY kid!
(b) Think rules don't apply to them, so they believe the ED is just a sure thing to tuck into their back pockets while they are hoping to get in somewhere else, really.
(c) Believe they can game the system financially and say they can't afford the ED school, when, as a PP above rightly notes, families know well in advance what the ED school will cost, and they get financial aid information when they get the ED acceptance. Those families should never apply ED if they truly cannot afford the ED college even with whatever financial aid it offers.

Of course there are absolutely genuine situations where an ED accepted student ends up honestly unable to afford the college after all. It can and does happen. Colleges understand and so do HS counselors, and it's actually quite a sad situation for the student.

But there are definitely parents on this board who think in terms of ED simply being a sure-thing "yes" while they intend from the start to consider every other offer equally.

Most of all these people who claim they want their kids to hear from RD before acknowledging the ED acceptance are often parents whose kids are not, and never were, fully committed to that ED college. It was never the college that made the kid say, "Yes, if I am accepted EVERYWHERE I apply, I would STILL choose to go to this one college above all others." That's really what ED should be about, if one is going to use it at all. And it's why the student is supposed to withdraw all other applications as soon as the ED comes through, rather than waiting around to see which RD applications are accepted.

But the competitive, selfish parents and students in many of these threads think ED is just another tactic for ensuring Jr. gets in somewhere at least somewhat desirable. They don't consider that their kid's ED acceptance is possibly denying another kid a slot, or that backing out can damage the prospects of other kids from the same high school.

Because I know DCUM is full of snark: Full disclosure, I am not some embittered "my kid didn't get into X school ED" parent. Kid got into her most desired school ED and withdrew all other applications within 24 hours because she knew ED meant she really chose this college above all others. Even if every other one said yes to her, she would not have gone anywhere else anyway.

+1

+2

+3, and I am a bit bitter because my kid would have applied to an ED school but didn't due to financial concerns (school factored home value, and that was hard to determine, and we had a lot of moving parts on income as I am self employed and lost some gigs during covid). We knew that saying "I can't afford it" wasn't really an option unless we had a big change (someone lost a job or something).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not OP, but I wish we could also withdraw. Mostly bc we got zero merit from the school my DD was accepted to ED. And plenty of merit aid from the other schools she was accepted to -- but I realize that is the risk we took, but still sucks. We thought there would be a little merit at least and now we will need to take out a loan.

You can get out of ED for financial reasons. If they don't offer you enough $$, you can say you can't afford it, and need to withdraw your ED. It happens. You'd have to prove it, possibly.

That’s about need based aid, not merit.

You can just say you can’t pay. They can’t force you to go and you won’t be sued. People back out for other reasons too (illness, mental health, etc).

They can't force you to go, but if they disagree with you that you can't pay, they can inform all of their overlap colleges that they are not releasing you from the ED contract. Those other colleges will not allow you to matriculate.

+1. The ED school can’t force attendance. They CAN (and will) ensure you don’t attend anywhere else. As will your guidance counselor, who also signed the ED agreement. She and the HS are also on the hook.

This is ridiculous. Let’s say a kid says that it is too expensive and they need to go to a state school. The ED school is not going to prevent them. Or a kid realizes that he can’t handle the ED school because of anxiety or because he has a family crisis. He can just apply to different schools in the next cycle.

Any unforeseen issue, like a crisis (lost job, mental health) would be an exception. So, this is not a point. it's otherwise not a flexible system. You commit when you apply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I’m still not seeing how it hurts anyone if you still go to the ED school.

YOU ARE TAKING UP SPOTS AT OTHER SCHOOL AND FORCING YOUR HIGH SCHOOL INTO A REALLY CRAPPY SITUATION.

Don’t bother with PP. They have the same selfish, only I matter mentality that leads people to not vaxx, not mask screw you, me me me me me. Some people just can’t be trusted to be members of a community. Or society. I know. I know. That this type of malignant narcism is a mental illness and people allegedly can’t can’t help it and you should judge those with this type of personality disorder. . But, you think they’d at least pretend, so. Their kids don’t grow up to be a$$holes too.

It's fine to judge people like this: personality disorders might be an explanation but they are never an excuse. I mean, maybe if the rest of us didn't let people like this off the hook for their egregious behavior, they'd behave better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who mentioned wanting to do this. Several great unexpected acceptances came in right after which they weren’t expecting and favorite schools that don’t ED haven’t been released yet. Person is telling me that ED is not “legally binding”. What really happens? Do other schools find out and pull your acceptance? (one can hope, right?)

they should pull it. kid and parents signed an agreement. the day the kid was accepted ed, he or she should have withdrawn all other apps. This is selfish and unethical behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know someone who mentioned wanting to do this. Several great unexpected acceptances came in right after which they weren’t expecting and favorite schools that don’t ED haven’t been released yet. Person is telling me that ED is not “legally binding”. What really happens? Do other schools find out and pull your acceptance? (one can hope, right?)

they should pull it. kid and parents signed an agreement. the day the kid was accepted ed, he or she should have withdrawn all other apps. This is selfish and unethical behavior.

And not only does it reflect poorly on the school but the counselor’s reputation as well. She or he is supposed to review the ED process extensively with parents before both the parents and child apply. You don’t want to piss off your college counselor.