Reply to What happens if you ED and then back out?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
The posts about waiting to take up an ED acceptance only after hearing back from RD schools are such pitiful examples of the focus here -- in this area, on this board, in many local high schools -- on parents and students who

(a) Simply want bragging rights so they can say the kid got into schools X, Y and Z (even if kid isn't attending). Look at how desirable my kid is! What a great set of schools wanted MY kid! 
(b) Think rules don't apply to them, so they believe the ED is just a sure thing to tuck into their back pockets while they are hoping to get in somewhere else, really.
(c) Believe they can game the system financially and say they can't afford the ED school, when, as a PP above rightly notes, families know well in advance what the ED school will cost, and they get financial aid information when they get the ED acceptance. Those families should never apply ED if they truly cannot afford the ED college [i]even with[/i] whatever financial aid it offers.

Of course there are absolutely genuine situations where an ED accepted student ends up honestly unable to afford the college after all. It can and does happen. Colleges understand and so do HS counselors, and it's actually quite a sad situation for the student.

But there are definitely parents on this board who think in terms of ED simply being a sure-thing "yes" while they intend from the start to consider every other offer equally.

Most of all these people who claim they want their kids to hear from RD before acknowledging the ED acceptance are often parents whose kids are not, and never were, fully committed to that ED college. It was never the college that made the kid say, "Yes, if I am accepted EVERYWHERE I apply, I would STILL choose to go to this one college above all others." That's really what ED should be about, if one is going to use it at all. And it's why the student is supposed to withdraw all other applications as soon as the ED comes through, rather than waiting around to see which RD applications are accepted.

But the competitive, selfish parents and students in many of these threads think ED is just another tactic for ensuring Jr. gets in somewhere at least somewhat desirable. They don't consider that their kid's ED acceptance is possibly denying another kid a slot, or that backing out can damage the prospects of other kids from the same high school.

Because I know DCUM is full of snark: Full disclosure, I am not some embittered "my kid didn't get into X school ED" parent. Kid got into her most desired school ED and withdrew all other applications within 24 hours because she knew ED meant she really chose this college above all others. Even if every other one said yes to her, she would not have gone anywhere else anyway. [/quote]

+1[/quote]
+2[/quote]
+3, and I am a bit bitter because my kid would have applied to an ED school but didn't due to financial concerns (school factored home value, and that was hard to determine, and we had a lot of moving parts on income as I am self employed and lost some gigs during covid). We knew that saying "I can't afford it" wasn't really an option unless we had a big change (someone lost a job or something).[/quote]

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