Would you marry a man with no money?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want a top 10% earning male like every single woman. This man is rare, and you will face stiff competition. You have a man that is good to you. That is worth its weight in gold. But you have to get over the fact that you earn more. If you cannot, then you will take out on him and that is not fair to him.

Seems pretty rare to find a man in this area with two kids earning $60k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not recommend it. My DH is a teacher and his low wages really hurt our family. I make 200K and he is at 75K. I dream of the things me and the kids could do if he made equal pay. The difference definitely builds resentment and my husband has no interest in switching careers to earn more money for his family.

You sound awful

no, she sounds like a realist.

Nope. Unless her husband does nothing around the house, which she did not say, she really is being awful.
She has a 275k HHI and is lamenting the lack of another 125k in household income.
Why can’t she be the one to switch careers to make up that “missing” 125k?
Also, if her husband is a teacher, his schedule likely offers a lot of flexibility with breaks and holidays so they aren’t having to put kids in daycare or camps all summer long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want a top 10% earning male like every single woman. This man is rare, and you will face stiff competition. You have a man that is good to you. That is worth its weight in gold. But you have to get over the fact that you earn more. If you cannot, then you will take out on him and that is not fair to him.

Seems pretty rare to find a man in this area with two kids earning $60k.

+1 this does seem like an exceptionally bad deal.

The 60k would not be a problem on its own if the guy were very good with his money and had a meaningful career.
But it is really rare for a guy with 2 kids to be making that in 2021.
Heck, my then-husband made 65k in 2014, the year we came to DC so he pursue his ‘dream job’ - That was awful then! (It went up, and I ended up doing pretty well too so we’re doing ok as financial coparenting now)
In 2021 dollars 60k is way worse.

[Anonymous]

OP, you are asking the wrong question. It should be, "Would you marry a man with two minor children?"

The answer should be no.

I don't care if this guy is a straight out model of a Hallmark movie character the reality is that he has two children he is responsible for and YOU will be expected to help raise them, financially and otherwise.

Keep in mind that the role of stepmother is most often a lose-lose situation. You will be expected to help finance the care of the children (and their father) but will never be considered family. I don't care how good it is now, once you marry the territory will start getting piss-marks from the children's mother, her family, his family, etc.

Don't ever marry someone with children. Live together if you must and KEEP YOUR FINANCES separate and out of his control.