Parents who don’t let their kids do sleepovers but send them to sleepaway camps: what’s your rationale?

[Anonymous]

Just wondering as I know several parents who don’t like or don’t allow their kids to do sleepovers but will gladly send them to sleepaway camp. Isn’t there more of a risk of something going wrong at a sleepaway camp where your child is with total strangers than at the home of a family you know and trust? What am I missing here?

[Anonymous]

I let my kids do both, but I hate sleepovers and understand why some parents won’t allow them. They’re just disruptive whether they’re at your home or someone else’s. Kids are tired and grumpy the next day and it affects the whole weekend. Sleepaway camp is a total experience, and it can benefit both kid and parents.

[Anonymous]

Staff at the camp is background checked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I let my kids do both, but I hate sleepovers and understand why some parents won’t allow them. They’re just disruptive whether they’re at your home or someone else’s. Kids are tired and grumpy the next day and it affects the whole weekend. Sleepaway camp is a total experience, and it can benefit both kid and parents.

This. Sleepovers are a pain. And then you have to reciprocate. Sleepaway camp is a vacation from parenting and a valuable experience for your child.

[Anonymous]

They get one childhood. I'm not taking the risk of molestation, too young sexual experimentation, shenanigans or sneaking out. There is a time and place for everything and it's called college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Staff at the camp is background checked.

Parents do not have a chance to meet the staff so of course they need to be vetted by the employer. I assume you would have met the parents of the friend so that you can make your own decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Staff at the camp is background checked.

And people get away with things for decades or life because sexual abusive is rarely reported.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I let my kids do both, but I hate sleepovers and understand why some parents won’t allow them. They’re just disruptive whether they’re at your home or someone else’s. Kids are tired and grumpy the next day and it affects the whole weekend. Sleepaway camp is a total experience, and it can benefit both kid and parents.

This. Sleepovers are a pain. And then you have to reciprocate. Sleepaway camp is a vacation from parenting and a valuable experience for your child.

This. I allow both, but my kids only like sleep away camp.

[Anonymous]

I’ve let mine do both but need to meet the parents before a sleepover.
At camp DD was in an all female cabin with 2 female counselors. When they went to the bathroom at night they had to take a buddy or a counselor. They have rules/procedures in place.
Sleepovers do not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Staff at the camp is background checked.

Parents do not have a chance to meet the staff so of course they need to be vetted by the employer. I assume you would have met the parents of the friend so that you can make your own decision.

You cannot know whether someone is a sexual predator by meeting them. It doesn’t work that way. I don’t mean to fear monger, because it’s unlikely your friend or neighbor will hurt your child…

[Anonymous]

Well, I allow my kids to do both. But a sleepover allows a different kind of access than a summer camp.

My kids have gone to camps where adults don't sleep in the cabins, and there are rules about adults being alone with a camper.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Staff at the camp is background checked.

Many of the people in this area are 'background checked' quite extensively, moreso than camp staff.

[Anonymous]

Consistent with allowing neither here.

Lots of parents drink or smoke. Lots of parents have lax rules and regulations. Older siblings and males are the most likely predators. I was assaulted by my friend at a sleepover in the name of "exploration" which I did not want to do and had to shut down but I am also a very confident person.

Sleepaway camp has too much opportunity to coercion and manipulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Staff at the camp is background checked.

Many of the people in this area are 'background checked' quite extensively, moreso than camp staff.

So? I’m not a fed so that means nothing to me.
A creepy husband or failure to launch brother walking around in their tighty whiteys is more likely at a sleepover than at a vetted summer camp.

[Anonymous]

My spouse was molested at one of the most exclusive summer camps in the country. It happens, even though people like to tell themselves otherwise. Agree with a PP that there’s only one childhood. If this happens to your kid, it is a life sentence. Not at all worth the risks. This isn’t sheltering your child, either. By the time they go to the college, they are 18-19 years old and far more equipped.