Sending her to school—Did I do the right thing?
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Anonymous
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I posted yesterday about my DD13 who was the victim of a mean girl smear campaign yesterday.
https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/1194081.page She spent the whole evening, and morning, begging not to go to school. We told her she has to, she has finals today, and made her go. After spending the afternoon thanking me for being there for her, and this morning in tears, she switched to meanness in the car ride to school, accusing me of never being there for her. Parenting is fun! Did I do the right thing? I want to teach her to face her problems head on, and not run from things. Staying home would have definitely let her bully know she “won”. But poor DD. And then there was the issue of finals right before spring break. I feel awful. Did I do the right thing “forcing” her to go to school? |
Anonymous
| You're probably fine but I have to say in this situation, one mental health day isn't the end of the world and I would have granted my DD her wish. |
Anonymous
| Yes you did the right thing. But let her take it easy during spring break. |
Anonymous
| She's in MS? Mental health day would have been better. I thought she was in HS. |
Anonymous
| If she has exams today, then yes, she has to go. |
Anonymous
| She has finals so I would have made her go as well, but I would also be on high alert in case anything else happens at school so I could pick her up immediately. I didn’t read your other thread, but I’m assuming the teachers and administration know about the situation? |
Anonymous
| You could have discussed with teachers or counselor so she wasn’t left alone with those girls but I also wouldn’t let her miss finals over it. You don’t skip finals because someone said something mean. |
Anonymous
OP here. They definitely know. The principal and counselor spent the day speaking with students and DD, and me. I’m definitely at the ready should something else happen today. |
Anonymous
| Of course she can’t miss finals because someone was being mean. What?? |
Anonymous
OP here. This is what I thought, but I felt terrible leaving her this morning. |
Anonymous
| I would have kept her home. You’ve clearly never been bullied. |
Anonymous
| My biggest concern is if she is in the right headspace to focus on the finals she has today. |
Anonymous
| I'm not sure there was a right thing to do. Missing school doesn't help much in those situations. I was bullied badly in MS in the same way, but it lasted over a year. It got so bad my parents actually took me out of the school and sent me to private. I am eternally grateful to them for that. But they never let me miss school, and in hindsight it would not have helped. Would have helped if they had believed me about how bad it was, instead of accusing me of being dramatic. I think you can be there for her without letting her skip school. Just believe her, don't invalidate her feelings or trivialize it, and don't give up and decide that there is nothing adults can do. |
Anonymous
| We all process hurt differently. I would have kept my child home. Sounds like she needs time to unwind. She will be taking her finals just thinking about what happened. That would not be useful. She can make up finals plus it’s middle school…. |
Anonymous
That sounds like such an awful situation to be in. I’m so sorry for your daughter. After school today shower her with ice cream and brownies and whatever it is that would make it an extra special afternoon for her. |