Why do some people need so much novelty in relationships and sex?
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Anonymous
| I enjoy relationships and sex but not novelty. I would honestly just prefer to be with the same person for a lifetime going though ups and downs as long as they aren't being overly abusive to where we can't work something out over a period of time and be safe. Why do some people just prefer novelty? One man I met by age 30 had been with over 200 women and he was a perfectly nice guy at his workplace with no other issues beyond this sexual addiction. I don't even know where he found these women. Why are people so different like this? |
Anonymous
| Because people are different. |
Anonymous
| They have fewer dopamine auto-receptors, but this is not “faulty” wiring, just different. For a population, it’s beneficial to have a diversity of risk tolerance levels. |
Anonymous
| I think some of it is unstable childhoods. |
Anonymous
Yes. And some mental illness and sex addictions. Some use sex like others use pills or alcohol to self-medicate for the dopamine hit when depressed. |
Anonymous
You just don't want to find out you are married to a low dopamine auto-receptor individual. |
Anonymous
I think this was the story for a friend of mine. She's finally in therapy and left her husband, but she was cheating on him either emotionally or physically quite often while working full time and raising kids. I couldn't figure out for the life of me how she juggled it all and WHY she'd have a desire to seek out and pursue other relationships when her everyday life was somewhat chaotic and overwhelming and her life choices were adding to that drama. |
Anonymous
The one person I know like this has autism and adhd and a sex addiction. They seem unable to risk things themselves and therefore use others and themselves in this addictive way. I don't think most addicts are particularly gutsy. What is the benefit of having addictive brain wiring? |
Anonymous
| 200 sexual partners is extreme, but I think finding it difficult to stay sexually attracted to someone you live with and see all the time for decades is pretty normal. |
Anonymous
| We’ve been married almost 35 years and keeping our sex life “fresh” has always been important to avoid boredom. We are not kinky but being a little more adventurous at times makes it exciting. Being empty nesters really helped along with having a very private yard, pool and hot tub. |
Anonymous
| People are their habits. |
Anonymous
| I am a sex addict, I need to "release" the evil out of my system 2-3 times a week. It is more enjoyable if I spread that out over 2-3 women and self masturbation. Every time I try to be in a relationship I get bored and urges to step out after a very short time 2-3 months. I am a terrible long term boyfriend, but I am a great guy to hang out with, enjoy activities and have sex with. Don't ask me to marry you, I have no interest..........this does not make me broken just self aware and unwilling to change because there are many women out there who just need someone to spend some quality time with once in a while. |
Anonymous
| Most women simply are not cut out to have only one man for the rest of their lives (sexually, that is). |
Anonymous
But it's not for some people. I'm sure it is normal, but why? Why are some people content with the same husband or wife, same friends, same routine, and others constantly seeking novelty especially with people who are by nature something you can't control? Families are very complicated systems. Changing these around obviously causes a lot of chaos. |
Anonymous
If you're honest about this upfront, so be it. But the "urges to step out" part of your post suggests the sneakiness is part of your kink, and that's definitely fscked up, and dangerous for your not-partners. |