Hosting strangers from abroad
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Anonymous
| I posted about my social anxiety and my parents asking me to host 6 people I don't know: one couple from my hometown my dad knows well, plus two other couples (one from hometown and one relatives of first couple) Several people said they don't have social anxiety and still would not want to do this. How would you deal with the request? They have not contacted me yet but likely will and propose two dates, for them to come to my house. My dad will not understand my saying no with no reason as he cannot relate at all. |
Anonymous
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It is totally reasonable for you to say no to hosting anyone!!
Why do you feel pressured to say yes? |
Anonymous
| Do you mean having them stay at your house, or hosting them for a meal? |
Anonymous
For a meal. I had said yes when my dad mentioned it months ago because it was all very up in the air, and I didn't realize it would be 1. me hosting (he mentioned seeing) 2. 6 people 3. a specific Wednesday or Sunday I'd find out about last minute. My parents are acting like this is the most normal thing to do, for me to host these people I don't know, because they would host any stranger from the street on any random day without notice because that is who they are: great hosts, never busy, love company. Meanwhile I am not like that at all and it is weighing on me. I also don't understand why these people want to do this at all! |
Anonymous
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How would I deal this request.
I would say no in a manner that clearly expressed their request was batshit crazy! I have zero anxiety. |
Anonymous
It is very awkward because my dad asked so long ago and I was like "sure" without the parameters or thinking it would happen. Then the couple called my dad, asked for my info. I am mad about the whole situation. |
Anonymous
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I totally think it is fine to say “no” to this. You just have to stand firm and not care if your dad is mad.
That said, I’m having a hard time understanding what is going on. Will your parents be there too? Could you throw money at this problem and just treat them all at a restaurant? Is it the fact it is in your home? Or do you just not like having dinner with strangers? |
Anonymous
My parents will not be here. This is a friend of my dad's, but roughly my age. He is visiting a relative of his who lives about 2 hours from me and they want to stop on their way to/from some tourist stuff they are doing. Why would they want to do this? I don't know! I think maybe they are all super extroverts and think this is normal and fun. I do not feel that way. I am not into any aspect of it at all and don't really want to pay for a dinner out for 10 people total. |
Anonymous
| Is it hard for you to pay for dinner for 10 people? Maybe your parents think that you are capable of throwing together a lasagna, salad and garlic bread for these people and you won't be broke. |
Anonymous
This! why is this difficult!? |
Anonymous
I guess I find it difficult because it's my parents and it came in such a roundabout way. I should have said no when first mentioned, but tbh I have a feeling my dad would have insisted because these people for some weird reason really want to see me. |
Anonymous
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1. You can always say no.
2. However here it's making you look a little bad, because you said yes previously and it's only for a meal, not sleeping in your house. But again, you can always say no. 3. Note that your title says "sTrAngerS from aBroaD" as if somehow that's more scary than run-of-the-mill people you don't know. As a foreigner, I take exception to that. Please don't perpetuate xenophobic stereotypes. Foreigners are not inherently different or more scary than US residents. 4. Next time, learn to be wary of what your parents suggest. Never say yes without a clear picture. If there's no clarity, say no. |
Anonymous
I guess I did not make this clear. I am from abroad myself!!! I moved to the US as an adult. My parents live in my home town, which is abroad. My point was about the fact that they are coming from far, just explaining it. |
Anonymous
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OP, I'm a first gen immigrant and can see my parents asking the same. The thing is, the request is absurd. They're total strangers to you. If you had offered, that's one thing. But to put the burden of hosting on you is truly asking too much.
Call him back and tell him now that you know the perimeter, you cannot do it. Just a clear, plain no. Do not bow to his guilt trips. Protect your peace! |
Anonymous
| It's one meal and you already agreed to it, so I think you should just go through with it. 6 people isn't anything crazy. I would insist that you need to know what day they will be there at least a week in advance though. |