Pissed that I have to do remedial counselling with an employee who was reprimanded for harassing me.

[Anonymous]

I work in a government job that has union protections. I have a problem employee who is a vested government employee who can't be fired.

I am 34, I have been supervising a direct report on my team for over a year. She has had behavioral issues since August of 2023. She yelled at my supervisor and was disruptive during a team meeting. She received a written warning. Her behavior did not improve and worsened; in October she refused to complete her job tasks. She spent her work hours writing 7+ paragraph emails to me with complaints about her job and how she felt she could be my supervisor. She would write me 4+ page text messages on my cellphone at 10 PM despite being asked not to several times. She went under formal investigation for insubordination and received a formal reprimand for violating harassment policies that went into her work file. The next step in progressive discipline would be suspension without pay or a demotion.

This employee filed an internal grievance about my direct supervisor I and requested a transfer to another supervisor. Her complaint was unfounded - according to the investigator, she could not provide any specifics about her complaints and just rambled on about my leadership style. After she was reprimanded and her investigation was unfounded, she continued to complain about me and my communication style. I am forced to undergo leadership coaching and have a 3-way conversation scheduled with a communication manager and her in two weeks.

According to the communication manager, I need to increase my support of this staff by "increasing psychological safety" and work on my relationship building with her. I am being asked to "write a paragraph on the kind of supervisory relationship I want with her." I'm being advised not to put requests in writing, but to call her directly as she "can't understand my tone in an email." I am now pandering to this woman's psychological needs when she is the one who harassed me for 6+ months and refused to do her job. My direct supervisor is livid about the whole thing, but our agency director ordered the counseling and I have to go through the motions.

This woman continues to make comments about my age. I am 34, she is 55. She reports that my age "is a problem" for her; because she feels she has 20+ years of experience over me and a master's degree. I've considered hiring an employment lawyer for a hostile work environment, but because I'm under 40 her comments about my age are not considered protected under discrimination laws. Even HR has shrugged their shoulders when I brought it up. She has received a written warning and formal reprimand about harassment - and yet I am the one who has to jump through all the hoops to "repair the supervisory relationship." It's ridiculous. I want to keep my job, but I don't even want to be in the same room as this woman.

[Anonymous]

It’s easy to see why she dislikes you.

[Anonymous]

You need to convey that she has a mental illness that no amount of reprimands or training will correct. Because from where I’m sitting it’s obvious. She needs psychiatric care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s easy to see why she dislikes you.

To be honest, I couldn't care less if she likes me or not. She was not managing her workload and refused to do work tasks when asked by myself, our program, and the agency director. She requested a transfer to another supervisor and withdrew her request after her reprimand and her complaint against me was unfounded.

I must be an idiot because I can't understand for the life of me why she would want to stay on my team. She has outright said to me she does not like my direct supervisor either. It's not a good fit for all of us. The counseling feels like emotional enmeshment, I'm being asked to "share my favorite quote" with her (?!). I don't want any kind of relationship with this woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s easy to see why she dislikes you.

To be honest, I couldn't care less if she likes me or not. She was not managing her workload and refused to do work tasks when asked by myself, our program, and the agency director. She requested a transfer to another supervisor and withdrew her request after her reprimand and her complaint against me was unfounded.

I must be an idiot because I can't understand for the life of me why she would want to stay on my team. She has outright said to me she does not like my direct supervisor either. It's not a good fit for all of us. The counseling feels like emotional enmeshment, I'm being asked to "share my favorite quote" with her (?!). I don't want any kind of relationship with this woman.

Then you will never be an effective manager.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to convey that she has a mental illness that no amount of reprimands or training will correct. Because from where I’m sitting it’s obvious. She needs psychiatric care.

The communication coach hinted at this. She has time blindness and will ramble in meetings without respect for time. I was told she "comes into the workplace and sees her supervisor as needing to fulfill her needs for the day." She's been referred to our EAP program and our in-house emotional support coach too.

I work in social services. She was under the supervision of one of my colleagues and we received a complaint about her from local law enforcement. She was belligerent, refusing to let law enforcement do their job, and was almost placed in handcuffs. My agency did *nothing* about this because my colleague was 1 week into the job. She transferred to my unit shortly after with a glowing reference from the former supervisor and this was not mentioned at all. My program director (my supervisor) is pissed that she was dumped on us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to convey that she has a mental illness that no amount of reprimands or training will correct. Because from where I’m sitting it’s obvious. She needs psychiatric care.

This, OP.

I'd go through the required motions to buy time but if I were you I would look for another job.

[Anonymous]

As you can see, it’s much harder to manage a bad employee than a good one. Just document everything. I’d try to put as much communication in writing as possible so you have a paper trail.

Otherwise I’d try to move to a different position. Sounds like she can’t be moved.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you file a harassment complaint against her? It sounds like your agency does not have conduct guidelines and professional behavior requirements?

Btw being 34 is irrelevant. Age is a protected class under the civil rights act, meaning any time someone uses age in a discriminatory manner at work it is a violation of the civil rights act. This is no different than using anyone’s race as a reason for employment decision is illegal. Not sure what she’s doing would rise to discrimination though. The OWBPA gave specific layoff protections to workers over 40 but did not override that discrimination by any age is illegal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to convey that she has a mental illness that no amount of reprimands or training will correct. Because from where I’m sitting it’s obvious. She needs psychiatric care.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s easy to see why she dislikes you.

To be honest, I couldn't care less if she likes me or not. She was not managing her workload and refused to do work tasks when asked by myself, our program, and the agency director. She requested a transfer to another supervisor and withdrew her request after her reprimand and her complaint against me was unfounded.

I must be an idiot because I can't understand for the life of me why she would want to stay on my team. She has outright said to me she does not like my direct supervisor either. It's not a good fit for all of us. The counseling feels like emotional enmeshment, I'm being asked to "share my favorite quote" with her (?!). I don't want any kind of relationship with this woman.

Then you will never be an effective manager.

BS. You don’t need to like your boss to be respectful and do your job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to convey that she has a mental illness that no amount of reprimands or training will correct. Because from where I’m sitting it’s obvious. She needs psychiatric care.

The communication coach hinted at this. She has time blindness and will ramble in meetings without respect for time. I was told she "comes into the workplace and sees her supervisor as needing to fulfill her needs for the day." She's been referred to our EAP program and our in-house emotional support coach too.

I work in social services. She was under the supervision of one of my colleagues and we received a complaint about her from local law enforcement. She was belligerent, refusing to let law enforcement do their job, and was almost placed in handcuffs. My agency did *nothing* about this because my colleague was 1 week into the job. She transferred to my unit shortly after with a glowing reference from the former supervisor and this was not mentioned at all. My program director (my supervisor) is pissed that she was dumped on us.

Ah yes, the glowing reference to get rid of someone.

Is she receptive to flattery? I had a clinically paranoid colleague who started harassing me. My supervisor called her, flattered her, and managed to get her to leave voluntarily because we were obviously not a good fit for her talents - she was worth so much more!

But since yours is 50 and in gov…. maybe she won’t fall for that. You might have to write a glowing reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to convey that she has a mental illness that no amount of reprimands or training will correct. Because from where I’m sitting it’s obvious. She needs psychiatric care.

The communication coach hinted at this. She has time blindness and will ramble in meetings without respect for time. I was told she "comes into the workplace and sees her supervisor as needing to fulfill her needs for the day." She's been referred to our EAP program and our in-house emotional support coach too.

I work in social services. She was under the supervision of one of my colleagues and we received a complaint about her from local law enforcement. She was belligerent, refusing to let law enforcement do their job, and was almost placed in handcuffs. My agency did *nothing* about this because my colleague was 1 week into the job. She transferred to my unit shortly after with a glowing reference from the former supervisor and this was not mentioned at all. My program director (my supervisor) is pissed that she was dumped on us.

Ah yes, the glowing reference to get rid of someone.

Is she receptive to flattery? I had a clinically paranoid colleague who started harassing me. My supervisor called her, flattered her, and managed to get her to leave voluntarily because we were obviously not a good fit for her talents - she was worth so much more!

But since yours is 50 and in gov…. maybe she won’t fall for that. You might have to write a glowing reference.

This is the best advice you've received. You've discovered how people get rid of problem employees in the government. They move them to another office with a very good reference. Now it is your turn to move her on. She has psychiatric issues. Find another position for her and talk it up. Tell her how amazing she is and that she is wasted on your team. I assume you have been trying to make her miserable (another time-honored way to get people to move on in the gov't), but it doesn't seem to be working. You've got to think strategically about this. Or move to another position yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to convey that she has a mental illness that no amount of reprimands or training will correct. Because from where I’m sitting it’s obvious. She needs psychiatric care.

The communication coach hinted at this. She has time blindness and will ramble in meetings without respect for time. I was told she "comes into the workplace and sees her supervisor as needing to fulfill her needs for the day." She's been referred to our EAP program and our in-house emotional support coach too.

I work in social services. She was under the supervision of one of my colleagues and we received a complaint about her from local law enforcement. She was belligerent, refusing to let law enforcement do their job, and was almost placed in handcuffs. My agency did *nothing* about this because my colleague was 1 week into the job. She transferred to my unit shortly after with a glowing reference from the former supervisor and this was not mentioned at all. My program director (my supervisor) is pissed that she was dumped on us.

Ah yes, the glowing reference to get rid of someone.

Is she receptive to flattery? I had a clinically paranoid colleague who started harassing me. My supervisor called her, flattered her, and managed to get her to leave voluntarily because we were obviously not a good fit for her talents - she was worth so much more!

But since yours is 50 and in gov…. maybe she won’t fall for that. You might have to write a glowing reference.

This is the best advice you've received. You've discovered how people get rid of problem employees in the government. They move them to another office with a very good reference. Now it is your turn to move her on. She has psychiatric issues. Find another position for her and talk it up. Tell her how amazing she is and that she is wasted on your team. I assume you have been trying to make her miserable (another time-honored way to get people to move on in the gov't), but it doesn't seem to be working. You've got to think strategically about this. Or move to another position yourself.

OP here. I agree, this is the best advice.

I think if I filed a complaint it would just make me look bad - another thing my agency has to "deal with." Trying to find a lateral move would probably take 6+ months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work in a government job that has union protections. I have a problem employee who is a vested government employee who can't be fired.

I am 34, I have been supervising a direct report on my team for over a year. She has had behavioral issues since August of 2023. She yelled at my supervisor and was disruptive during a team meeting. She received a written warning. Her behavior did not improve and worsened; in October she refused to complete her job tasks. She spent her work hours writing 7+ paragraph emails to me with complaints about her job and how she felt she could be my supervisor. She would write me 4+ page text messages on my cellphone at 10 PM despite being asked not to several times. She went under formal investigation for insubordination and received a formal reprimand for violating harassment policies that went into her work file. The next step in progressive discipline would be suspension without pay or a demotion.

This employee filed an internal grievance about my direct supervisor I and requested a transfer to another supervisor. Her complaint was unfounded - according to the investigator, she could not provide any specifics about her complaints and just rambled on about my leadership style. After she was reprimanded and her investigation was unfounded, she continued to complain about me and my communication style. I am forced to undergo leadership coaching and have a 3-way conversation scheduled with a communication manager and her in two weeks.

According to the communication manager, I need to increase my support of this staff by "increasing psychological safety" and work on my relationship building with her. I am being asked to "write a paragraph on the kind of supervisory relationship I want with her." I'm being advised not to put requests in writing, but to call her directly as she "can't understand my tone in an email." I am now pandering to this woman's psychological needs when she is the one who harassed me for 6+ months and refused to do her job. My direct supervisor is livid about the whole thing, but our agency director ordered the counseling and I have to go through the motions.

This woman continues to make comments about my age. I am 34, she is 55. She reports that my age "is a problem" for her; because she feels she has 20+ years of experience over me and a master's degree. I've considered hiring an employment lawyer for a hostile work environment, but because I'm under 40 her comments about my age are not considered protected under discrimination laws. Even HR has shrugged their shoulders when I brought it up. She has received a written warning and formal reprimand about harassment - and yet I am the one who has to jump through all the hoops to "repair the supervisory relationship." It's ridiculous. I want to keep my job, but I don't even want to be in the same room as this woman.

What are you trying to convey in the bolded? Is there a third person she is complaining about?