Why do people pick on and complain about fat/obese people so much?

[Anonymous]

S/O From the husband saying obese people should get electric shocks every time they eat.

I know this thread is going to spiral into nastiness and Jeff will probably have to shut it down, but I really want to know.

I was born fat and have literally been considered fat from age 3. I just recently lost over 150lbs over the last 3 years from my highest weight of 308lbs. Now being much smaller, I just can’t believe what people say out loud about fat people. When I was larger I felt immune from that behavior because facially, that card never declines. I have a beautiful face (have actually modeled),engaging eyes and beautiful hair. I married a very good looking, D1 football star from a high profile state school, who played briefly in the NFL. There has not been one man that I was interested in that has rejected me. When I was fat, I didn’t think ANY man was out of my league. Have gotten every job I have ever interviewed for. So for me, other than my dad kicking me out of the house for being fat and us not speaking to each other for the last 25 years, I have lived, what I thought was a charmed life for a fat lady. But now I’m starting to realize maybe it could have been 100x better? Is that true? My brain now is spinning, spiraling thinking I wasted 30 years being fat? That if I was thinner the 30 years, with this face my life could be up in lights? Is that how it is for thin people? Because now that I’ve lost weight, I think life actually sucks. I see all these flaws I didn’t see before. I didn’t weight myself everyday. I didn’t obsess over gaining 2 pounds. I was prettier. Now my face looks all sunken and wrinkly. Now I’ve got all this extra skin. It sucks. All of that is my sob story to share on another post.

This post is about general fat people hate.

Why is there so much hate for obese people? And please don’t chime in with all this it costs the healthcare system so much money because if that was the real issue then insurance would be covering these new GLP-1 medications from the jump due to enormous weight people can lose on them, but they’re not. They would classify obesity as a disease. If it was that, then we as a country should be rioting in the street to rid ourselves of all the processed food in our stores and in our schools. If it was that then, doctors would be more informed about how being obese and the propensity of being obese starts in early childhood for many. Doctors would know how to counsel people at early stages on starting healthy lifestyles. We would put more emphasis on health in our elementary and middle schools so that our children would learn from an early age how to maintain their health. They would guide those that gain weight from traumatic experiences with better mental health care.

But instead people just rant about fat people and how lazy and disgusting they are.

Do these people only hate fat people? Why don’t you feel this way about all the folks drinking themselves to death every night and on the weekends? Why don’t you feel this way about folks out here getting high? This whole city smells like f’ing weed! Why don’t you feel this way about all the moms drinking a bottle of wine a night? That’s okay right?


I know I’m not articulating this well. I know folks are going to chime in with really disturbing, disgusting and foul comments. I’m hoping some really smart persons, some anthropologists of human nature can explain this.

Please DO NOT chime in about what it costs the health system, because I know that’s not why people hate fat people.

I’m really sick of it.

[Anonymous]

Who is hating on fat people all the time? I never see this irl. The only thing I guess I'd see (which I've never seen irl but I know happens) is the airplane seat situation, where the overweight person refuses to buy 2 seats. Yeah then I'd be irked.

But you're right; why can't we focus on how everything smells like weed now? I absolutely loathe this.

[Anonymous]

I don't have answers for your but as a lifelong overweight person, I have been thinking about how toxic our culture is in the messaging around fat people. Things I remember from growing up:

-The episode of Saved by the Bell about the date auction - https://savedbythebell.fandom.com/wiki/Wendy_Parks

-The movie Heavyweights which we watched in health class each year of middle school https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavyweights

-Bridget Jones/the woman is Love Actually - anyone who ever has been represented as very fat when they really weren't

-Shallow Hal. Enough said.

-Every fat character who was a caricature of someone who never stopped eating

Is it any wonder those of us in bigger bodies grew up hating ourselves?

[Anonymous]

It’s seen as laziness and lack of self control.

Not saying I agree with this but a few reasons why

[Anonymous]

I don't understand either but I think it's a sentiment learned from parents. My parents/grandparents never focused on the topic as an issue to have a strong opinion on. At most they'd mention potential for diabetes or other health problems if someone suddenly gained a lot of weight. It was like a health warning, no focus on looks. I think it's partially a product of online opinion trends too, the stronger the opinion, the more attention it gets.
I'm always shocked when I hear friends mention their parents telling them childishly negative things about weight.

[Anonymous]

It's like pretty much everything else in life - you don't understand until it happens to you. So without understanding, you make assumptions.

Think about many of the things other people judge us for and loudly express their disgust or condemnation. Because they have never been - and assume they never will be - in that situation.

[Anonymous]

I think people have more opinions now after extensive Covid shutdowns that were seen as mostly being for the benefit of obese people.

And I don’t know why you insist that the costs to other people aren’t a valid reason. Everyone can remember a time that they were squashed in a seat because the person next to them didn’t fit in their seat, and how uncomfortable it was. And it’s a fact that many heath conditions are related to obesity and that this affects us all.

I’m sorry that you’re upset but being obese is not a private thing that only affects you. It affects us all. It doesn’t mean that people should be openly hostile about it but they have reasons for their beliefs.

[Anonymous]

I think it triggers an insecurity in people. They're reacting because they feel threatened that this could also happen to them, or it is already them. I see a lot of "obese on obese" hate, where other obese people hate on those who are also obese. it's a trigger.

[Anonymous]

I don't think so. Fat is the norm now, over 70% of Americans are overweight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think people have more opinions now after extensive Covid shutdowns that were seen as mostly being for the benefit of obese people.

And I don’t know why you insist that the costs to other people aren’t a valid reason. Everyone can remember a time that they were squashed in a seat because the person next to them didn’t fit in their seat, and how uncomfortable it was. And it’s a fact that many heath conditions are related to obesity and that this affects us all.

I’m sorry that you’re upset but being obese is not a private thing that only affects you. It affects us all. It doesn’t mean that people should be openly hostile about it but they have reasons for their beliefs.

Sure but sitting next to a smoker stinks. And affects health care.
I don't want to pay for people's viagra, but my insurance premiums do. As does Medicare.
Maybe your life choices are why you got cancer. Why should society have to pay for your treatment?
Maybe the car accident was your fault, why should the rest of us pay for your SS disability?

And on and on....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s seen as laziness and lack of self control.

Not saying I agree with this but a few reasons why

So ignorance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think people have more opinions now after extensive Covid shutdowns that were seen as mostly being for the benefit of obese people.

And I don’t know why you insist that the costs to other people aren’t a valid reason. Everyone can remember a time that they were squashed in a seat because the person next to them didn’t fit in their seat, and how uncomfortable it was. And it’s a fact that many heath conditions are related to obesity and that this affects us all.

I’m sorry that you’re upset but being obese is not a private thing that only affects you. It affects us all. It doesn’t mean that people should be openly hostile about it but they have reasons for their beliefs.

Sure but sitting next to a smoker stinks. And affects health care.
I don't want to pay for people's viagra, but my insurance premiums do. As does Medicare.
Maybe your life choices are why you got cancer. Why should society have to pay for your treatment?
Maybe the car accident was your fault, why should the rest of us pay for your SS disability?

And on and on....

I’m the PP and I agree with you. I personally hate smokers. I think more people dislike smokers than obese people.

And yes, I should not have to pay for viagra for other people. I didn’t know that I was, but it’s annoying if I am!

[Anonymous]

I have a lot of respect for obese women out in public. So brave. I am insecure so if I became that way I would probably avoid being seen in
public and my world would get very small/limited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who is hating on fat people all the time? I never see this irl. The only thing I guess I'd see (which I've never seen irl but I know happens) is the airplane seat situation, where the overweight person refuses to buy 2 seats. Yeah then I'd be irked.

But you're right; why can't we focus on how everything smells like weed now? I absolutely loathe this.

Op here. There is a huge amount of hate. Nike and Target got over 80,000 complaints respectively when they introduced plus sized mannequins several years ago. Look all the hate Lizzo gets, just for being her. There are literally hundreds of Reddit threads complaining about fat people. Of course we know that being overweight causes additional health issues that may affect healthcare costs. But that’s not why people HATE and say HATEFUL THINGS about fat people. That’s not the reason fat children get bullied in school.

When I traveled, after takeoff, I would stand in the back of plane for the entire flight until descent because I was afraid I might get drama from the seat mate. I generally started to fly first class ( and I’m not bragging about that). When I modeled and had to travel, it was in my contract.

Maybe I’m faltering because somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought being thinner would be different, but then just find something else to hate on you about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s seen as laziness and lack of self control.

Not saying I agree with this but a few reasons why

So ignorance.

There's no question that it is hard, in America, to avoid gaining weight over time when pretty much every food you buy in a store or restaurant is processed or full of sugar. The changes in how food is marketed and served and the changes in average American weight can be clearly seen over time, and it's not just "self control." But it's also hard, when you see people making clearly bad decisions about what they eat and what they feed their children, to not feel annoyed/smug. It's one thing to eat a "normal" diet and gain 2-3 pounds a year and then realize you've gone from weighing 125 at age 20 to being 180-200 pounds at age 50. It's another thing to send your already-overweight kids to school with a lunchbox full of soda and candy bars because it's "what they want."