Is 4 years too much of an age gap?
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Anonymous
| For those who have kids who are 4 years apart, any pros/cons? It is too much like completely redoing the baby years? |
Anonymous
| My kids are 3.5 years apart and it's been great. |
Anonymous
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I have a 4.5 year age gap and it is fantastic!
My older child has loved every minute of being the older sibling. They were also a big help and keeping baby entertained. |
Anonymous
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My kids are 5 years apart and I love it. But then I wanted to redo the baby years... because I love the baby years. My kids always got along great, and each got individual time with parents. There was only one to potty train at a time, only one in daycare/preschool at a time, etc. We were able to focus on our oldest's high school years and college application season, and now he's safely in college, our youngest is starting her high school years, and we can focus on her. So it's been a great experience!
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Anonymous
| Just do you. Lots of folks have no control over this. I think a big advantage to a gap is that big expenses are spread out. Daycare, private high school, college. That kind of thing. |
Anonymous
| What does "too much" even mean, OP? |
Anonymous
| I have three kids, almost four years between each (so oldest was 8 when youngest was born). It’s awesome. You know that book “All Joy and No Fun”? She talks about how the ideal might be having some time each day with your kid at different stages, but that’s not feasible for most people. But I feel like I get snuggles with my littlest and then can go do big kid stuff with the oldest. It’s so nice. I can’t imagine having kids close together (I mean, I know there are advantages to that, too, but it’s definitely not for everybody!) |
Anonymous
| My first two were exactly 4 years apart and it was amazing. Oldest completely understood that baby's needs are greater, no jealousy or acting out towards baby. My middle and youngest were 2 years apart and OH MY it was much more difficult. Now that they're older the oldest two do fight more, but honestly that's to be expected. Would repeat a 4 year gap again in a second. |
Anonymous
| You won’t have to pay for 2 college tuitions at the same time!!!! |
Anonymous
| My brother and I are 4.5 years apart and my mom said she always felt she could fully focus on the baby years with each of us. We didn’t spend all that much time together as kids because my brother went to boarding school but we are very close now. |
Anonymous
Yes! I love our 4.5 year age gap. Got up enjoy the kids’ babyhoods one at a time, they play together more than you might think, and when one goes off to college I still get 5 more years to enjoy having a kid at home. (Honestly, any age gap has pros & cons and will work out.) |
Anonymous
| I have 3 kids, ages 7, 5, and 1. The older two are 27 months apart, and the youngest is 4 years younger than our middle daughter. We’ve loved the 4 year age gap, especially for a third. Our older girls love helping their baby sister, and it’s been nice to have just one in diapers. So far, we love it! |
Anonymous
| I always wanted my kids 1-2 years apart but it wasn’t in the cards. We have a 4 year age gap. It was to have the baby when my oldest was fully toilet trained, fully past any sleep issues overnight, etc. I will say now they are 8 and 4 and play together pretty well but 6 and 2, and 7 and 3 were tougher. Youngest was too little to “play things right” with my fairly rigid older child. Now my older child has mellowed out with age and my youngest is able to really play cooperatively and it’s golden. |
Anonymous
| ^^also I didn’t expect how special it would be to watch my oldest truly delight in my youngest. Both when he was a baby and also now that he is 4, and will do silly things, and my 8 year old and I will make eye contact and just laugh so joyfully together. It’s great. |
Anonymous
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6 years between mine. They're at different developmental stages, so we divide and conquer often. However, no sibling rivalry, they love each other to pieces, older one look after the little one, who looks up to her so much! Lots of individual time for each so they both think they're our favorites - and they're both right.
Pros and cons to each way you do it. Just take what God gives you and work with that. |