If you are a SAHP, how, if at all, does your partner help you around the house?

[Anonymous]

Multiple school-age kids in the picture. Does your partner do any chores around the house, either during the week or on weekends?

[Anonymous]

If your children are in school, I would expect you should be able to get all your stuff done during the school age and there should be zero to do on the weekend and in the evenings (save for dinner).

DH and I both work full time in very busy jobs, and we only have about an hour of stuff to tackle on the weekends. If I had a sah spouse of school age kids, and there was any expectation of me doing work on the weekends, I would promptly tell you to go back to work. Because I would rather do 1 hour of chores on the weekends with my spouse contributing income, than do one or more hours of chores on the weekends with my spouse not contributing income. Sure, we outsource housecleaning and yard work, but - surprise - that is the beauty of having two incomes. You can afford all that plus have lots of money left over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your children are in school, I would expect you should be able to get all your stuff done during the school day and there should be zero to do on the weekend and in the evenings (save for dinner).

DH and I both work full time in very busy jobs, and we only have about an hour of stuff to tackle on the weekends. If I had a sah spouse of school age kids, and there was any expectation of me doing work on the weekends, I would promptly tell you to go back to work. Because I would rather do 1 hour of chores on the weekends with my spouse contributing income, than do one or more hours of chores on the weekends with my spouse not contributing income. Sure, we outsource housecleaning and yard work, but - surprise - that is the beauty of having two incomes. You can afford all that plus have lots of money left over.

Fixed that to "school day".

[Anonymous]

Husband with a SAHM. Our kid is 11 and in school for over six hours per day. I work 50-60 hours a week and do a great deal of: cooking, cleaning, my own laundry, pay all the bills, file taxes, investments, retirement, cut the lawn, cook 50% at home, clean the dishes more than 50% of the time, etc.

The list can go on for a while. I'm also the lead in everything our kids does for school. Parent/teacher meetings I'm the one speaking and organizing the talking points. Emails to school or teachers are from me. I also drive our kid to sports 99% of the time (which during fall and spring is 5-6 days week.

Yes, my SAHM is lazy. Average iPhone screen time is 12-13 hours. I check weekly. Yes, we have discussed divorce. I plan on filling once my kid is in high school.

[Anonymous]

I WFH part time so I might as well be a SAHP.

DH helps with ferrying kids before 8 am and after 7 pm. He also makes breakfast on weekends and helps with dinner on weekends and some weekdays if he gets home before me. He also helps with cleaning on weekends.

I homeschool one kid so that is why I can’t be a total Donna Reed all week.

[Anonymous]

I work part time, but it’s all nights and evenings. We have five kids ages 8-15.

I am default on:
all kid stuff including school, homework, and activities
all housework including laundry
yard work including mowing, flowers, weeds, and vegetable garden
all cooking and grocery shopping except for the evening I work.

DH helps if he is home at the time stuff needs to be done and I ask him to do it.

DH is in charge of the kids the evening I work. He is also in charge of the chemicals on the hot tub, making coffee every morning, planning vacations, scheduling repairs around the house taking care of mature trees, and car maintenance.

[Anonymous]

Helps with dishes/kitchen clean up at night.

Weekends - works on any house maintenance, fixes things if needed.

Helps clean if guests are arriving

Drives kids back & forth to things

[Anonymous]

I'm a sahm and I don't ask my husband to do anything since that's my job to take care of the home as it's his to earn the money to maintain the home. I have 2 adult children 1 still at home and 1 teenager and can get everything done and still have time to do things for myself.

We also own an online business that I handle all orders and customer service and dh handles the website.

With that said he does help if I ask and will take out the garbage when needed. We've been together 30 years and our arrangement works for both of us.

[Anonymous]

DH
Gets up takes the 3 dogs out. Feeds dogs. Emotive dishwasher. Makes breakfast. Makes sure kid is up. takes kid to school 45 min - hr depending on traffic. Picks kid up from practice daily. Feeds kid during travel or comes up with a dinner plan. We divide and tackle or take turns with dinner. He cleans up and loads dishwasher.

He takes care of scheduling and transportation for Dr. Appointments and vet appointments.
He does 90% of shopping.
He handles dry cleaning.
On weekends he cleans bathrooms and deep clean of kitchen.
I handle most laundry
He plans all vacations.

[Anonymous]

I am a SAHM and we have 3 school aged DC. My DH takes out the trash, pitches in with other household stuff as needed (if we have a busy evening, or are having company etc). Most days there is little for him to do. Does small repairs around the house by choice- others we outsource. All landscaping etc is outsourced.

He does enjoy cooking and cooks more than I do on the weekends. By choice.

Is an involved dad and parents 50/50 when he is home. I handle all appts, school & any admin stuff for the kids.

Mine does not work super long hours..maybe 45-50 hours a week and his office is 5min from our house.

[Anonymous]

As it was a mutual choice to have one partner bring home the dough and other holding the family fort, our division of chores wasn't even. I did the lion's share but he earned well and tried to help when he could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your children are in school, I would expect you should be able to get all your stuff done during the school age and there should be zero to do on the weekend and in the evenings (save for dinner).

DH and I both work full time in very busy jobs, and we only have about an hour of stuff to tackle on the weekends. If I had a sah spouse of school age kids, and there was any expectation of me doing work on the weekends, I would promptly tell you to go back to work. Because I would rather do 1 hour of chores on the weekends with my spouse contributing income, than do one or more hours of chores on the weekends with my spouse not contributing income. Sure, we outsource housecleaning and yard work, but - surprise - that is the beauty of having two incomes. You can afford all that plus have lots of money left over.

Do you have kids?
This doesn’t really make sense to me. A lot of stuff needs to be done nearly every day and at pretty specific times (school pick up and drop off, for example, also meals, wake-up and bedtimes, etc). You can’t just save it for a few hours on the weekends.

And if you aren’t talking about the day to day childcare and running of a household, and you outsource the housekeeping and yard work, then what are you doing for hours on the weekends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If your children are in school, I would expect you should be able to get all your stuff done during the school age and there should be zero to do on the weekend and in the evenings (save for dinner).

DH and I both work full time in very busy jobs, and we only have about an hour of stuff to tackle on the weekends. If I had a sah spouse of school age kids, and there was any expectation of me doing work on the weekends, I would promptly tell you to go back to work. Because I would rather do 1 hour of chores on the weekends with my spouse contributing income, than do one or more hours of chores on the weekends with my spouse not contributing income. Sure, we outsource housecleaning and yard work, but - surprise - that is the beauty of having two incomes. You can afford all that plus have lots of money left over.

Do you have kids?
This doesn’t really make sense to me. A lot of stuff needs to be done nearly every day and at pretty specific times (school pick up and drop off, for example, also meals, wake-up and bedtimes, etc). You can’t just save it for a few hours on the weekends.

And if you aren’t talking about the day to day childcare and running of a household, and you outsource the housekeeping and yard work, then what are you doing for hours on the weekends?

Of course I have kids. When kids are school age, you have the five hours a day to yourself. Let’s say you spend one of those days doing a full weekly cleaning of your house. Grocery shopping for an hour two other days. A few loads of laundry on two days takes maybe twenty mins of hands on time spread over several hours at your leisure. What are you doing the rest of the school days? Not much. So you should handle the two hours of before school stuff and drop off plus the after school shift and dinner. I have never understood women who think that just because their working spouse is home and night, stuff should be split fifty fifty- when she did nothing all day long.

And before you ask, yes I also worked PT from home for three years when my son was a baby while we had a nanny for four hours a day while I was working, I handled all other household chores - laundry cleaning cooking etc. it’s just not that much. When kids get older, the after school stuff adds a few hours a day; but again you don’t have a job or any day time obligations so why wouldn’t you handle the post school trade off?

As to what we do on weekends: 3-4 loads of laundry, cat litter, deep clean kitchen (our cleaners only come every two weeks), break down recycling boxes, do returns, other small cleaning tasks, there are usually a few things I can fix around the house…. Every couple months we’ll have a more intense chore heavy weekend like spend all weekend power washing or similar. Also, I haven’t had private childcare since son started preschool.

[Anonymous]

I’m a SAHM and my DH doesn’t lift a finger on chores. Never has, never will. No, he did not shovel snow. No, he does not take out the trash. This is a big reason I’m a SAHM.

He does parenting though!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Husband with a SAHM. Our kid is 11 and in school for over six hours per day. I work 50-60 hours a week and do a great deal of: cooking, cleaning, my own laundry, pay all the bills, file taxes, investments, retirement, cut the lawn, cook 50% at home, clean the dishes more than 50% of the time, etc.

The list can go on for a while. I'm also the lead in everything our kids does for school. Parent/teacher meetings I'm the one speaking and organizing the talking points. Emails to school or teachers are from me. I also drive our kid to sports 99% of the time (which during fall and spring is 5-6 days week.

Yes, my SAHM is lazy. Average iPhone screen time is 12-13 hours. I check weekly. Yes, we have discussed divorce. I plan on filling once my kid is in high school.

You have a very low self esteem. How much money do you make?