Nanny wants to take 3-4 weeks off. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

We have a great nanny. She has been with us for 10 years (3 kids). She is really great and part of the family and that is why we kept her even after the youngest started school FT. She is currently paid for 8 hours of work, but really only works 4 per day. We have been always very flexible with her and she has generous vacations since we also travel 2+ months in the summer and 2-3 weeks for winter break. For example she spent almost 2 months in her home country last summer and 1 week in the Caribbean (not with us) for winter break.

Her mom lived in a city nearby and was very sick in the last month and nanny took several days off to be with her. She recently passed away and nanny wants to take her to be buried in her home country. The trip is long and she has asked for 3-4 weeks off.

We are not going to be able to pay her and her replacement. I can perhaps have one of my parents fly here to help for some of that time, but I am also upset and don’t think nanny should be paid for those 3-4 weeks she is taking. I would totally understand 1 week off, but 3-4 no.

What do you think? What should we do?

Thanks

[Anonymous]

What does your contract say re: paid time off?

Given the circumstances, I'd allow the time but not pay beyond what the contract requires since you will have to pay a replacement.

[Anonymous]

Her mother died. She wants to bring her home. Let her have the time off. Does she accrue vacation time?

[Anonymous]

No, she’s not “part of your family”. You don’t truly feel that way.

3-4 weeks is a long time to take off paid.

[Anonymous]

I would allow her 3-4 weeks off. I would pay her for those 3-4 weeks but her let know that you are swapping this time off with the summer, so she wont be paid in the summer for 3-4 weeks when she is not needed.

[Anonymous]

OP here. She spent the last week with her family. I understand wanting to take her to her home country and perhaps have a funeral there, but I don’t understand why she needs to be there for a month. By contract she has the to 10 days off, but she routinely takes a lot more. We are not around so I don’t care. However, we ARE around now. DH will be traveling and in such short notice (2 weeks) I don’t think I will be able to find much of a replacement.

Either way, I said she can go… but I don’t want to pay her for those weeks she is out. Is it mean of me?

[Anonymous]

I don't think you should feel obligated to extend extra paid vacation, but you should let her use what you give her each year.

[Anonymous]

Her mother died. She wants to bury her. Let her bury her mother.

Do you want to keep her? She has worked for you for 10 years. I'd pay the 3-4 weeks and fly your mother in.
Or pay her 2 weeks and tell her the other 1-2 weeks unpaid.

[Anonymous]

If your children are school aged then ask your schools’ aftercare provider if they can accommodate for that time. It’s far cheaper than a nanny. Then, if financials are truly still a concern, perhaps tell her you can only pay for part of the leave or suggest an advance on vacation time. Honestly, if you can afford to be away for weeks and months at a time as a family of five then be prepared that financial excuses will sound cold hearted to your nanny.

[Anonymous]

Our nanny did exactly this and then once she was there had some convoluted reason she needed to extend by 2 more weeks. Then she came back and was a changed person, forgot to pick up one of the kids from preschool, etc. we ended up having to fire her.
Why not have her do this while you are away in the summer?

[Anonymous]

Do you pay her in the summer when you are gone? Of course you let her go, and pay her something if you want to keep her.

[Anonymous]

Has she asked for time off or paid time off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your children are school aged then ask your schools’ aftercare provider if they can accommodate for that time. It’s far cheaper than a nanny. Then, if financials are truly still a concern, perhaps tell her you can only pay for part of the leave or suggest an advance on vacation time. Honestly, if you can afford to be away for weeks and months at a time as a family of five then be prepared that financial excuses will sound cold hearted to your nanny.

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. She spent the last week with her family. I understand wanting to take her to her home country and perhaps have a funeral there, but I don’t understand why she needs to be there for a month. By contract she has the to 10 days off, but she routinely takes a lot more. We are not around so I don’t care. However, we ARE around now. DH will be traveling and in such short notice (2 weeks) I don’t think I will be able to find much of a replacement.

Either way, I said she can go… but I don’t want to pay her for those weeks she is out. Is it mean of me?

Pay her for what she has left from the 10 days, unpaid leave for the rest. Easy.

[Anonymous]

So I’m a school principal and supervise custodians who probably make the same pay and work really hard. And who are typically from another country.

After working for 10 years, she would have accrued enough annual leave to take this time. I sign off on extended visits every couple of years so that these employees can go make a home visit. It’s not feasible to go for a week.

In your case, you cannot afford to pay her, and I don’t get a sense that she has asked for it. That’s fine. If you want to and can offer her something, like a week’s pay, do it.

But definitely let her go without penalty. It sounds like she’s been a loyal and caring employee. This isn’t an ask that will come again.