DH addiction
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Anonymous
| DH has a porn addiction. Since COVID, our sex life has been non existent yet DH has been consuming porn almost on a daily basis. This started after he was laid off from his job and became depressed as a result. On his computer I found that he is has been looking at all kind of porn, gay, transgender and fat women porn. Every time we try to have sex he fails to be aroused and doesn’t seem all that exited to have actual real sex. Is his lack of arousal caused by his porn consumption? I don’t think porn can change your sexual orientation. If he stops will our self life returns to normal. I am 39 and he is 45. He will try to stop on his own, if not we may have to look for help for his addiction. He doesn’t consume alcohol or do drugs. |
Anonymous
| Porn is destroying men. It’s a good refuge for men because they don’t have to be judged on their performance. Women, whether they realize it or not, can be incredibly rude toward men who underperform sexually. Men cannot fake an erection. Women can fake moaning and have access to lube if they are dry from being turned off. |
Anonymous
| There are 12 step groups for sex addiction. I have had several friends who go to these, some for porn, some for sex with other people. I believe it’s called Sex Addicts Anonymous. I hope he gets help. Patrick Carnes has written books about sexual addiction; not sure they discuss porn. I would get help for yourself whether or not he does. |
Anonymous
| Unfortunately the dopamine release that men get from watching porn is so high that it will take awhile for everything to be reworked once he stops. Once your DH stops give him space. After awhile he will progressively enjoy the human touch again. Porn should be banned period. It’s very destructive to people. If it were hurting women nearly the same way it’s hurting me I guarantee you we would have had some type of restriction on this filth. Yikes! And sorry. But don’t divorce your hubby over this though. The fact that it’s not a hidden secret is a good first step. Depression can really destroy people. You guys will get through this. |
Anonymous
|
r/nofap
https://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/wiki/faq/ Others have found themselves unable to perform IRL. Like any addiction, it has highjacked his dopamine system and he has needed more and more extreme for the same level of arousal. When underlying issues are not addressed, addictions tend to transfer. https://slaafws.org/ is another resource If he has ever been religious there is Every Man's Battle, book and weekend program Al Anon may be a source of support for you, OP. Or r/alanon, being the spouse of an addict of any type sucks. You may also benefit from checking out coda.org for you. Your marriage may not survive. If you work, protect your career. If you don't, figure out an on-ramp back. |
Anonymous
+1. And because the dopamine his brain will need to keep simulated. Hence he will turn to gay, transgender and other kind of porn. Don’t worry it doesn’t make him gay because he has been watching gay porn and he is no longer aroused with you. Porn is a disaster as bad as cocaine addiction! |
Anonymous
| Why are so many men turning while they have willing wives ready to be railed?? |
Anonymous
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OP,
This is tough to shake. Have him get a male therapist or the two of you go to marriage counseling with a male therapist. I would only go to a male therapist. If you don't like the one you are going to get another male therapist. Porn addiction is destroying marriages. The religious organizations will also be able to refer to refer to professional help on this if the two of you go to any type of services. Porn addiction is a common cause for the breakup of marriages. Even with a lot of professional help it will take a long time to resolve. One therapy session is not enough. |
Anonymous
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IF he stops your sexual life can turn around but understand he will most likely need professional help and it can take a long time.
There is a reason women working on Only Fans get progressively larger butt and boob implants. They can make progressively more money from those addicted to porn. It takes more and more (bigger etc) for your husband to get aroused and get off over time. |
Anonymous
+1. In the name of women empowerment let us make money of those clueless men. Men are vulnerable as well. And we are Shamelessly exploring them. The top 1% of women on onlyfans are making staggering amount of money while destroying marriages, good men, etc in the process. Power to the modern woman! |
Anonymous
gay, transgender and fat women porn? wut |
Anonymous
People start with Cocaine, then crack, then take needles with random people. Dopamine is a b**tch! |
Anonymous
| Buy a $trapon. When he gets into bed, walk into the bedroom wearing your $trapon. Should fulfill his trans fantasy. |
Anonymous
That actually may work. It could spice up your sex life and get him off porn. One time my wife suggested that as a role play. The look I gave her made her quickly change the topic. However in OP’s case it could be a solution. Be “sex positive”! |
Anonymous
Many men who underperform are already addicted to porn. It's the problem, not the solution. |