What does "sex positivity" mean on online dating profiles?

[Anonymous]

When someone selects "sex positivity" as a personality attribute on dating profiles (bumble in this case), what would you say this means?

I sort of interpret it like how sober means they used to be an alcoholic or have alcohol abuse issues, that sex positivity means a whole lot more than just a "normal" healthy value for sex in relationships.

Like that it means they've had serious issues with women and sexual compatability, they are into more wild stuff, they see sex as separate from the rest of the relationship (like being more sex focused instead of intimacy overall).

So I find it a bit of a red flag if that's 1 of the 5 attributes they pick...

Curious how others see it.

[Anonymous]

I think you hit the nail on the head. Sounds like they see sex as a big part of a relationship or even the main thing they are looking for in a relationship.

IMO, people should be as honest as possible in their dating profiles. What’s the point in dating people you know aren’t compatible? If that feels like a red flag to you, then it’s not the person for you. Isn’t it nice to know that from the start?

[Anonymous]

You can bring up kinky stuff without scaring them away and they are ISO the same.

[Anonymous]

I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

[Anonymous]

Red flag to me, for sure. A healthy sex life & compatibility are important, but listing “sex positivity” as a trait is a very consumer-like objectification of sex that goes over very poorly with me. I can be very sex positive with a man who gets me, but not at all with a selfish, demanding and judgmental person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

Nobody gets to demand sex from another person … it sounds incredibly entitled coming from a man.

[Anonymous]

Nope, no thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

I view it the same way. And as a very sexual woman I appreciate knowing upfront that we have similar outlooks when it comes to a healthy and robust physical relationship should we match and move forward.

But I know the crusty women of DCUM will call this redpill/toxic masculinity, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

Nobody gets to demand sex from another person … it sounds incredibly entitled coming from a man.

And you are person that this guy is weeding out. You are a red flag.
The idea that you don't understand that people have different needs and wants versus rape is a huge red flag.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can bring up kinky stuff without scaring them away and they are ISO the same.

+1 Yep. Send them my way! GGG

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

I view it the same way. And as a very sexual woman I appreciate knowing upfront that we have similar outlooks when it comes to a healthy and robust physical relationship should we match and move forward.

But I know the crusty women of DCUM will call this redpill/toxic masculinity, etc.

I’m a very sexual woman but this is a huge red flag for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

Nobody gets to demand sex from another person … it sounds incredibly entitled coming from a man.

And you are person that this guy is weeding out. You are a red flag.
The idea that you don't understand that people have different needs and wants versus rape is a huge red flag.

“Sex positivity” = will have sex with me per the frequency & type of sex I “need” and “want.” Conceptualizing sexuality as unilaterally getting your “needs” met is … extremely unsexy.

[Anonymous]

It means he's a sex addict who will want it all the time with you, right away, and will be sleeping with others at the same time. A real like walking STD.

[Anonymous]

Who are the idiots that come up with these expressions. Why not “is sex important to you in a relationship- yes or no.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would expect this is a man trying to weed out women who view sex as an optional thing that is nice when the stars aligned. As a man who views sex as an ESSENTIAL regular part of a relationship, I fully understand wanting to weed those women out.

Men don’t use this phrase.