Explain to me why people do a viewing

[Anonymous]

I'm going to a funeral today. There will be a three hour "viewing" followed by the service. We plan to arrive just before the service starts.

I have never been able to deal with this tradition of displaying a dead body. Yes, I'll admit that it's not part of my background and we don't do it at funerals. Why is it done?

[Anonymous]

I think it's for people to see the dead person's face one last time.

But I agree OP, it's not part of my tradition and I find it macabre and creepy. I can just look at a photo of the person if I want to see them.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand it either. I’m Jewish and Jews don’t do open casket viewing. There is time before the funeral where people can show up to offer their condolences and there is shiva. I’ve always been uncomfortable with viewing.

I know at every Jewish funeral I’ve been to there is a moment offered between the service and going to the cemetery where the casket is opened for the family if they wish. I didn’t want to see my dad so I opted out. My stepmom and my uncle did do it.

[Anonymous]

One last chance to say goodbye even for those who believe their spirit is elsewhere. It brings tangible finality that people are familiar with - the person’s physical body. It doesn’t seem strange or macabre to me at all. I understand why some may not want/need to do it and how it helps others.

[Anonymous]

I think it might help some people accept that the person they loved is really gone.

[Anonymous]

For some it is a chance to say a personal final goodbye.

[Anonymous]

Because it’s their culture, and other cultures are allowed to do things differently from your own.

No one will make you go anywhere near the casket, open or closed. If you don’t want to, don’t, but accept that it’s part of other people’s culture and be open minded.

[Anonymous]

I am Irish Catholic so an open casket is definitely in my culture, but I find the times are changing. I think anything is acceptable these days.

[Anonymous]

I’ve only been to one viewing/open casket affair, and I definitely see the appeal. The person you are mourning is right there as if sleeping peacefully. It’s very real. Not as real as when you’re designated to hold a pet in your arms when it’s put down, but real. Shirking from real is a huge part of what’s wrong with us as a society. It’s what causes some children of elderly parents to violate the golden rule and warehouse them in environments that they themselves would never be happy and then barely visit them. So F’ed up.

[Anonymous]

I’ve always felt uncomfortable with open casket wakes. However, only 50 years ago, my family kept their dead at home until it was time for the funeral Mass. The women washed the body and sewed it into the shroud. The men built a plain pine casket. Family and friends filed through the parlor to say goodbye and then into the yard for refreshment. I imagine the house smelled like death and flowers. Funerals were the next day, maybe the day after in winter only. If you lived far away, you sent a telegram.

[Anonymous]

Peacefully sleeping? That’s great. The viewing I saw the person looked grey and swollen.

[Anonymous]

I don’t get it either. There was an open casket viewing of my grandmother. Twenty years later, when I think of her, one of the memories that comes to mind is how she looked in her casket. I don’t want to remember her dead body!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve only been to one viewing/open casket affair, and I definitely see the appeal. The person you are mourning is right there as if sleeping peacefully. It’s very real. Not as real as when you’re designated to hold a pet in your arms when it’s put down, but real. Shirking from real is a huge part of what’s wrong with us as a society. It’s what causes some children of elderly parents to violate the golden rule and warehouse them in environments that they themselves would never be happy and then barely visit them. So F’ed up.

[phone]

Exactly this. Supposed grown adults are now “uncomfortable,” find it “creepy.” Grow up. You do realize you’ll be in that box yourself one day, right?

OP it is based in the concept that our earthly bodies are no longer needed. From ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

Perhaps your life would be more “comfortable” if you actually face and accept this basic premise.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes when you are told someone died, it can feel like it can't possibly be true. But then if you see the body, you can see with your own eyes that they are dead.

Religiously, if you believe in the soul, you can really see the difference between someone who is sleeping versus someone who is dead and their soul has moved on. For Catholics for example, it can be helpful to see for yourself that their soul has moved on and is hopefully in heaven.

[Anonymous]

I was raised with this tradition (Catholic) and don't like it. I know the reasons people do it, but it dies not help bring me closure or feel like a good opportunity to say goodbye.

I remember going to my grandmother's viewing when I was in my early 20s and that's when I decided I wouldn't attend this part of the funeral anymore. She didn't look like herself at all. It was ghoulish.

But then at the next funeral when I chose not to attend the rosary or the viewing, I had many family members complain and say I was being selfish. And that's when I began to wonder if maybe many people dislike the viewing but force themselves to go out of obligation, because that's what you do. Mind you, I attended the funeral. Just not the viewing. People were very mad and I think it's because they also didn't want to go but didn't feel they could make the choice I was making.

I think future generations might leave this tradition in the past.