Dating a twice divorced man

[Anonymous]

Would you do it? He’s 46 with one kid. Very successful, responsible, hard working, good looking, well educated, great taste/cultured, wants to pay for everything, makes good decisions (except the marriages I guess).

[Anonymous]

date him? sure. Introduce him to my kids and take him seriously as a long-term partner? Unlikely.

[Anonymous]

What are the reasons for the divorce? Is he able to speak about what happened in a way that indicates deep reflection and a sense of accountability? Does he still believe that marriage is for life? These are really good questions to get into as you get to know him better. Twice divorced, however, is a big red flag at the end of the day. It’s not ideal and he owes you an explanation of both how it happened and how he has grown and changed as a result.

[Anonymous]

Jewel's dating Kev and they seem happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are the reasons for the divorce? Is he able to speak about what happened in a way that indicates deep reflection and a sense of accountability? Does he still believe that marriage is for life? These are really good questions to get into as you get to know him better. Twice divorced, however, is a big red flag at the end of the day. It’s not ideal and he owes you an explanation of both how it happened and how he has grown and changed as a result.

+1

I'd want to proceed with caution but I don't write anyone off just because of a red flag rule. Even people with addiction pasts deserve chances if the circumstances speak for themselves: meaning that I don't write people off.

[Anonymous]

Would I do what? Date the guy? Absolutely. Marry him? It depends. Why did he get divorced? When? How long marriages lasted? It also depends on what you want out of a relationship, on why you are dating…

I assume you had a few dates with him, cause the examples you give are very superficial, all are “dating cv” headlines.

But having 2 divorces is not an immediate red flag that I wouldn’t date someone, but it would give me reason to look deeper into why he got divorced twice, what / how he talks about his ex wives.

[Anonymous]

He only says good things about his ex wives. First wife cheated on him, married <1 year. Second marriage 8 years, 10 together, says he tried his best but she broke his heart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He only says good things about his ex wives. First wife cheated on him, married <1 year. Second marriage 8 years, 10 together, says he tried his best but she broke his heart.

I’d want more specifics on how he tried with his second wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He only says good things about his ex wives. First wife cheated on him, married <1 year. Second marriage 8 years, 10 together, says he tried his best but she broke his heart.

I’d want more specifics on how he tried with his second wife.

I’d take what he tells you with a lot of salt. No one knows except her what really happened.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he sees himself as a victim. Not a fan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He only says good things about his ex wives. First wife cheated on him, married <1 year. Second marriage 8 years, 10 together, says he tried his best but she broke his heart.

Patronizing. He at least knows not to call either of them crazy. So he’s smart or at least he’s learned

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He only says good things about his ex wives. First wife cheated on him, married <1 year. Second marriage 8 years, 10 together, says he tried his best but she broke his heart.

Patronizing. He at least knows not to call either of them crazy. So he’s smart or at least he’s learned

? How is this patronizing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He only says good things about his ex wives. First wife cheated on him, married <1 year. Second marriage 8 years, 10 together, says he tried his best but she broke his heart.

I’d want more specifics on how he tried with his second wife.

I’d take what he tells you with a lot of salt. No one knows except her what really happened.

Agree. He sounds smooth. I'd proceed with a lot of caution.

[Anonymous]

Sure. Date him and see. My DH was divorced (although only one previous marriage, not two), and he's been the best thing that ever happened to me for 20 years now. He and his ex-wife were just poorly matched, lifestyle-wise.

Twice-divorced does give me pause, but try it out. Get out at the first sign of any kind of nonsense thought.

[Anonymous]

I will offer a guy's perspective. Just remember that most divorces are initiated by women. And often people will assume the guy is responsible because the woman initiated. Now the only thing I will say though is that after 2 divorces, the odds for further divorces significantly go up.

How old are you? That's very important? How old is his kid? Do you have any kids? If no, would you like to have kids? These are important things to know.