If you are UMC or MC how would you feel if your adult child married someone from LMC or LC?

[Anonymous]

What if your adult child marries into a LMC or LC family? Would it bother you?

[Anonymous]

Yes it would. Her life will be hard.

[Anonymous]

I think it depends on the family. I’d be glad they were getting a different perspective on the world. I’d worry there might be more stressors/ higher ACE (adverse childhood experiences) scores.

[Anonymous]

BIL married into a lmc family that sometimes does well financially. They are in real estate in an area with booms and busts so lots of bankruptcies. No advanced education or military experience anywhere in the family. It definitely causes issues. It is what it is.

[Anonymous]

DC married a person with no college education and a GED. It has worked out, but there are cultural differences.

[Anonymous]

I am worried, dd’s bf wants to be a teacher and his single mother is also a teacher, no family wealth from his side

[Anonymous]

Depends, if my son who has a good high paying career wants to marry a woman from a poor family to be a SAHM I don’t mind as long as they’re good together.

[Anonymous]

You sound pretty lower class OP. Like the mother in law from hell. Be thankful your son or daughter is able to find anyone willing to be part of your narcissistic universe.

[Anonymous]

I would care: I wouldn’t want them to be in a business relationship. I would prefer them to be in a marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would care: I wouldn’t want them to be in a business relationship. I would prefer them to be in a marriage.

Should say would not care.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s important to have the same desires. Do they want the same kind of life your kid does. I spent a long time with someone who was very unhappy in the life they ended up in. Which was far from family, in a sfh, needing to drive to get most places, and working eventually in a corporate job. It’s been pretty awful living with someone who deep down resents you and their life because of you.

[Anonymous]

I did it and it caused my mom all sorts of heartburn. 20 years on and my marriage is strong whereas my sibling’s marriage to a wealthy person from our social class is chronic on the edge of divorce. The hurt from my mom’s early disapproval and coldness to my spouse will never go away, as much as she appreciates them now.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the genetics. If the individual’s four grandparents were kind, smart and hardworking, with no psychological or substance use problems, then it’s fine. Otherwise run.

[Anonymous]

I feel like one thing I’ve learned from reading these boards is that it isn’t really about social class, but it is about an ACE score. If my daughter wanted to marry a guy who had a deeply traumatic background, I would talk to her about making sure he has done therapy to work through it. Plenty of guys can say “I don’t want to be my parents” and avoid addiction and cheating through college and twenties. But once their are kids, aging parents, etc — it becomes easy to repeat history.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did it and it caused my mom all sorts of heartburn. 20 years on and my marriage is strong whereas my sibling’s marriage to a wealthy person from our social class is chronic on the edge of divorce. The hurt from my mom’s early disapproval and coldness to my spouse will never go away, as much as she appreciates them now.

+1 except I married up in class .

My mom despised my husband and his “liberal”, though very middle of the road, belief. She treated him awfully.