Need advise on letting my 16 year old go somewhere...
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Anonymous
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My 16 year old daughter (just turned 16 in Oct) has been invited by a good friend of hers and family to go to NYC next weekend, they own an apt there and go there often for weekends. The parents are lovely but very "loose" in how they parent. I, on the other hand have a lot of anxiety. I admit I am nervous about two 16 year olds wandering the city alone, especially this time of year with all that's going on.
My dh thinks its fine but I cannot bring myself to say OK. I did call the and asked what they would be doing and if the girls would be supervised the entire time to which she replied " X (her daughter) is used to going off on her own and knows the city like her back hand" which implies of course they will be allowed to go off on their own unsupervised. Am I am being unreasonable? Needless to say my D is practically not talking to me she is so upset. I am really torn about what to do. |
Anonymous
| I'm assuming they will staying in manhatten & I would be ok with that. |
Anonymous
| I would let her go. |
Anonymous
I’m sorry, but you are being unreasonable. It’s totally normal for girls that age to walk around by themselves, especially if one of them knows the city well. NYC is a great city for wandering. They just need to be situationally aware. |
Anonymous
| What is everyday activity in NYC would be considered very loose here. Ie you don’t see a lot of kids here talking public transport to elementary school: Or going to grocery store bodega by themselves to grab groceries. Or sitting at a cafe together in middle school. |
Anonymous
| Do you really never let your 16 yo out of your sight? Why can’t she walk down a street without parental supervision? Just because it happens to be a different city? |
Anonymous
| My DD and her best friend went to NYC by themselves for their 16th birthday. They wandered around the village, saw a couple of shows, skated, got matcha, etc. had a great time! |
Anonymous
| OMG if your non disabled 16 year old can't be unsupervised ... you have problems. Anxiety problems or parenting problems or something. Seriously - she's 2 years from being on her own and you won't let her walk around a city with someone who knows that city really well? Seriously, that is more anxiety than normal. |
Anonymous
| Let her go. If she generally has good judgment and the friend does to, what are you worried about? 16 yr olds getting followed everywhere by parents seems ridiculous |
Anonymous
| Also "with all that's going on" ? What does that mean? You're not sending them to Tel Aviv. Lord. |
Anonymous
| Land that helicopter on runway 1A |
Anonymous
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I would go over basic urban safety rules, like no listening to music while out and about, always look both ways when crossing the street, never respond or make eye contact with panhandlers or people she gets a bad vibe from, switch subway cars or cross the street if necessary, secure her money and phone. Tell her never to get separated from her friend, always have her phone on her person and charged. Exhort them to not stay out late.
They should be fine. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like a great opportunity for her. Talk to her about safety and street smarts, get her to promise to text you ever few hours, set up “find my device” so you can see where she is if need be, and let her go. |
Anonymous
| You are being overly protective and unreasonable. I would not think twice about letting my daughter go on this trip. She is lucky to have such a nice friend. |
Anonymous
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Thanks for your opinions.....overwhelmingly that I am being too anxious. I kind of figured.
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