Explaining 'no gifts please' to your kids

[Anonymous]

Curious how others who stipulate no gifts on birthday invites explain that to their kids? I think mine might be a little ticked about it. Any tips very welcome!

[Anonymous]

They are the norm in our circle, so they are confused when we bring a gift.

[Anonymous]

"Your birthday is all about me. I know you're new to this world but I've been here for years and I'm tired. I'm tired of all the things you find new and exciting, so we're just cutting them out. You understand, don't you Larla? It's so boring to get gifts these days. What, it's not boring for you? Well then you're being selfish! What about mommy? I mean, all the plastic in the world?"

It usually goes over well. Don't worry so much about what they think and feel and you're be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Your birthday is all about me. I know you're new to this world but I've been here for years and I'm tired. I'm tired of all the things you find new and exciting, so we're just cutting them out. You understand, don't you Larla? It's so boring to get gifts these days. What, it's not boring for you? Well then you're being selfish! What about mommy? I mean, all the plastic in the world?"

It usually goes over well. Don't worry so much about what they think and feel and you're be fine.

I think I love you.

Boom!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Your birthday is all about me. I know you're new to this world but I've been here for years and I'm tired. I'm tired of all the things you find new and exciting, so we're just cutting them out. You understand, don't you Larla? It's so boring to get gifts these days. What, it's not boring for you? Well then you're being selfish! What about mommy? I mean, all the plastic in the world?"

It usually goes over well. Don't worry so much about what they think and feel and you're be fine.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"Your birthday is all about me. I know you're new to this world but I've been here for years and I'm tired. I'm tired of all the things you find new and exciting, so we're just cutting them out. You understand, don't you Larla? It's so boring to get gifts these days. What, it's not boring for you? Well then you're being selfish! What about mommy? I mean, all the plastic in the world?"

It usually goes over well. Don't worry so much about what they think and feel and you're be fine.

What? How about they already got 20 presents from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and various others besides their school friends. Kids should be able to understand excess

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are the norm in our circle, so they are confused when we bring a gift.

+1 ours too. Our school actually suggests it as policy given current COL and inflation, because so many parents were giving feedback that it was cost prohibitive for them.
OP I would just tell them that you told people it's enough just to attend and not to bring gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are the norm in our circle, so they are confused when we bring a gift.

+1 ours too. Our school actually suggests it as policy given current COL and inflation, because so many parents were giving feedback that it was cost prohibitive for them.
OP I would just tell them that you told people it's enough just to attend and not to bring gifts.

OP - we didn't get this formal school feedback, but informally was hearing feedback from parents that with so many kids in the year this year, parents were feeling squeezed and we all are kind of unofficially on board with making it as easy as possible.
I think the tricky thing for me is we haven't done no gifts before and dc is turning 8 so has had a lot of years of gifts. So just figuring out the right way to explain but i think the above and also maybe say when we're not so little any more we have a different kind of birthday...

[Anonymous]

Performative.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care? My DD's best friend had a no gift party, and according to her mom, it was her choice. I think they decided together that the birthday party was gift enough. We don't do big birthday parties, so I don't see how that is any different from me saying "Larla, you can invite two friends over for a movie night to celebrate your birthday".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Your birthday is all about me. I know you're new to this world but I've been here for years and I'm tired. I'm tired of all the things you find new and exciting, so we're just cutting them out. You understand, don't you Larla? It's so boring to get gifts these days. What, it's not boring for you? Well then you're being selfish! What about mommy? I mean, all the plastic in the world?"

It usually goes over well. Don't worry so much about what they think and feel and you're be fine.

What? How about they already got 20 presents from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and various others besides their school friends. Kids should be able to understand excess

Ok, and? You put some away and give them out every few weeks. Problem solved. It's their birthday. A bit of excess is ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are the norm in our circle, so they are confused when we bring a gift.

+1 ours too. Our school actually suggests it as policy given current COL and inflation, because so many parents were giving feedback that it was cost prohibitive for them.
OP I would just tell them that you told people it's enough just to attend and not to bring gifts.

Most people you associate with probably can afford a $10 present. Be real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Your birthday is all about me. I know you're new to this world but I've been here for years and I'm tired. I'm tired of all the things you find new and exciting, so we're just cutting them out. You understand, don't you Larla? It's so boring to get gifts these days. What, it's not boring for you? Well then you're being selfish! What about mommy? I mean, all the plastic in the world?"

It usually goes over well. Don't worry so much about what they think and feel and you're be fine.

I think I love you.

Boom!

+2. And we live in a several thousand square foot DCUM McMansion, but I love to complain about how there’s “OMG NO ROOM TO STORE ALL THESE TOYS.”

[Anonymous]

Clean up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are the norm in our circle, so they are confused when we bring a gift.

+1 ours too. Our school actually suggests it as policy given current COL and inflation, because so many parents were giving feedback that it was cost prohibitive for them.
OP I would just tell them that you told people it's enough just to attend and not to bring gifts.

Why is the school involved in what you do at your child's birthday party?