Parents getting sibling’s hopes up for top 10+ Michigan when there is no chance
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
|
My sister is a senior in high school. I am helping her through the college app process, as I have a pretty good sense of what constitutes a good app, went to a top school, helped my brother go through the process a few years ago, etc.
Her stats are 3.5 unweighted with a couple of Cs on her transcript + a D from freshman year. Course load is 3 APs this school year. She also took 3 APs last year. She took 1 AP each freshman and sophomore year. My parents are very clueless. The project my experiences on my siblings and always have lofty expectations that they will get into top 10 schools, despite their grades, study patterns, lack of drive for these type of schools. etc. I thought I had aligned on a good list of early action schools for my sister ~5 safeties (including MD publics like Towson, St.Mary’s) ~3 matches (i.e. Marist, Wooster) ~2 reaches (e.g., Union College, College Park) ~2 high reaches (i.e., Macalester) However, my parents are encouraging her to apply to Michigan and my alma mater (which has a ~5% acceptance rate), so much so that she decided to do ED to my alma mater. The odds of getting in are 0 and they added these schools to the list like last week. Fast forward and the essays are not great. I told my sister it is probably better to submit a few days after the deadline then send something that is complete crap. But that she could send it by midnight yesterday if she wanted; the choice is hers. Today she and my parents are blowing up my phone to help with edits so they can get these apps submitted NOW. Mind you I’m not a college counselor-I have a full time job that is not a 9 to 5. I am particularly concerned because this is creating a lot of angst for my sister. She called me whining/crying that Michigan/my alma mater’s apps are not submitted. It’s ridiculous—I’m running out of patience with her/my parents at this point. Even if I do help her with edits, the odds are low, but perhaps a smidge higher than submitting things as. I just hate that my parents are giving my sister this sense of false hope. I have given my sister the stats, she just doesn’t want to comprehend them for some reason. Does anyone else have these issues during the college app process?—parents giving unrealistic hopes Or, AITA for not pulling an all-nighter or something and providing edits ASAP? |
Anonymous
|
You have a much better handle on this than your parents. They are insane to think she would have a chance at any T50 school with those stats, unless there is something else compelling in her story, which, according to you, is not likely, given the essay.
Weren't some of these applications due yesterday? If these are for RD then sure help her when it fits your schedule between now and Thanksgiving and only help her with essays for schools she has a remote chance of gaining acceptance. |
Anonymous
|
Stop getting caught up in this. It’s neither your job to manage their expectations or to judge them for how they approach sister’s college applications. If your sister waited until the last hour, that’s a choice she made.
If you can’t/don’t want to help with stressful, last minute edits, that’s totally fine. Disengage from this. |
Anonymous
| If a kid cannot apply to college on their own, then maybe they shouldn't be applying. |
Anonymous
|
Is this a troll? Most ED/EA deadlines are Nov 1st. |
Anonymous
Obviously the deadlines are Nov 1. Ergo the verbiage in the original post about submitting the two apps a few days after the deadline since the supplements are lacking. |
Anonymous
Hmm. Well, if you're not a troll, you should give a veneer of help, so that in this heightened state of stress, nobody can come back and accuse you of sabotaging your sister's chances at an Ivy. For some reason, I feel your family would stoop that low. Polish off her supplementals, she sends them in whenever, and that's it. She doesn't get in, she gets into the tier below UMD, and after much water under the bridge has passed, I'm sure she'll be a little miffed that her parents made her stress out so much during fall of senior year. I understand that YOU are angry that your parents don't see the difference in work ethic/achievement between you and your siblings. Maybe secretly they know, but they can't help rolling the dice again. |
Anonymous
They realize the difference in grades, etc. But like you intimated, it is a lottery to them. They think there is some chance. What they fail to realize is college admissions, particularly at elite schools, are not a lottery when you do not meet some of the basic criteria-- grades/blemished transcript, etc. You can argue it gets to lottery level schools are choosing between applicants that have the required stats to get in. |
Anonymous
| See, there is something you can do with a creative writing degree. |
Anonymous
Let's say there are 18 grades from 3 years of school. 15 As plus 2 Cs plus 1 D = 3.5 So this kid has all straight As plus 2 Cs and 1 D? Seems unlikely that every other grade was a straight A. |
Anonymous
If you do not know how to calculate a GPA I can't help you. In the county there are 14 grades a year--grades are reported on a semester basis and students generally take 7 classes. So, by the end of junior year you have around 42 letter grades. So, yeah As and Bs can balance out a couple of Cs and a D. |
Anonymous
Are you high??? There is no way any high school kid is taking 14 DIFFERENT classes in one academic year. One grade counts, and that is the final grade. Students in most schools take 7-8 classes across the entire year. Some might be a half year course paired with another half year course. A typical course load might be: 1. English 2. History 3. Math 4. Science 5. Language 6. PE half year + elective half year 7. Band |
Anonymous
You are very clueless. In our county the 7 courses are split across the school year--for example, AP Gov A and AP Gov B. You might get an A in AP Government A and a B in AP Government B. These two grades are reported separately--they are not combined. I am not going to respond any more. |
Anonymous
NP and you’re right PP. This is how it’s done in MCPS. The semester grade is the “final” grade. |
Anonymous
|
A lot of colleges won’t hold 9th grade grades against her.
8 APS and an unweighted 3.5 can aim higher than that list. What’s her weighted? This is not your problem and don’t work in her essay at all. That’s cheating. |