Dating and Assaults

[Anonymous]

My DD is 23. Most of her friends have been raped. She herself has been assaulted twice, forced to have sex by someone she was alone with willingly. Both times she was drunk.

What has your young adult's experience been?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:forced to have sex by someone she was alone with willingly.

If she was forced it's not willingly. That's rape.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Of course I agree. Just meant she had chosen to be alone with this jerk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 23. Most of her friends have been raped. She herself has been assaulted twice, forced to have sex by someone she was alone with willingly. Both times she was drunk.

What has your young adult's experience been?

WTF I am a male and I am like WTF... If I sent this to my friends' group they would probably say the same...

[Anonymous]

This occurs way more frequently now than it did in my day. I agree WTF. Come on though I can't be the only mom who has heard of this happening.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 23. Most of her friends have been raped. She herself has been assaulted twice, forced to have sex by someone she was alone with willingly. Both times she was drunk.

What has your young adult's experience been?

WTF I am a male and I am like WTF... If I sent this to my friends' group they would probably say the same...

say that they were raped?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This occurs way more frequently now than it did in my day. I agree WTF. Come on though I can't be the only mom who has heard of this happening.

Doubtful it is more frequent. It is likely more spoken about vs a lifelong secret shrouded in shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This occurs way more frequently now than it did in my day. I agree WTF. Come on though I can't be the only mom who has heard of this happening.

No. This happened all the time in the past vs today but was never discussed/accepted as normal. It is still prevalent today but now is not socially acceptable. Specially after #metoo. It’s a change in thinking/society norms like what happened with DWI or smoking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 23. Most of her friends have been raped. She herself has been assaulted twice, forced to have sex by someone she was alone with willingly. Both times she was drunk.

What has your young adult's experience been?

Alcohol is often the reason behind becoming a victim or predator AND confusion.

All you can do as parents is teach and preach safety but can't shield them from others or even their own hag judgment.

Put them on birth control, get them HPV vaccine, buy them condoms and morning after pills, enroll them in self defense classes and shop for mace and whistle etc.

As mothers of sons, teach them about self control and consequences even if it's consensual but other person decides it wasn't.

Its a complicated world out there.

[Anonymous]

[twitter]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 23. Most of her friends have been raped. She herself has been assaulted twice, forced to have sex by someone she was alone with willingly. Both times she was drunk.

What has your young adult's experience been?

WTF I am a male and I am like WTF... If I sent this to my friends' group they would probably say the same...

say that they were raped?

Why is it surprising? Lots of boys also get raped and assaulted, mostly by people they know. Its a sad world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This occurs way more frequently now than it did in my day. I agree WTF. Come on though I can't be the only mom who has heard of this happening.

No. This happened all the time in the past vs today but was never discussed/accepted as normal. It is still prevalent today but now is not socially acceptable. Specially after #metoo. It’s a change in thinking/society norms like what happened with DWI or smoking.

This^.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 23. Most of her friends have been raped. She herself has been assaulted twice, forced to have sex by someone she was alone with willingly. Both times she was drunk.

What has your young adult's experience been?

My DD is young and not dating. But there is a similar experience with myself and my friend group. The things we have experienced or endured (e.g., groping at work, sexual assault and rape, being held down and told "you know you want it") would be shocking to people. Not only for the fact these things happened -which is bad enough- but the boys/men who did it. It's the all-American star QB, the "nice boy" from the family down the street. The son of the teacher or coach. It's not just the overt creeps doing things like this. And even if we told you, you wouldn't believe us.

And it's not an exception.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 23. Most of her friends have been raped. She herself has been assaulted twice, forced to have sex by someone she was alone with willingly. Both times she was drunk.

What has your young adult's experience been?

Alcohol is often the reason behind becoming a victim or predator AND confusion.

All you can do as parents is teach and preach safety but can't shield them from others or even their own hag judgment.

Put them on birth control, get them HPV vaccine, buy them condoms and morning after pills, enroll them in self defense classes and shop for mace and whistle etc.

As mothers of sons, teach them about self control and consequences even if it's consensual but other person decides it wasn't.

Its a complicated world out there.

Drinking excuses when a woman says no? Or says anything other than an unequivocal yes?
Because that is the only time they shoudl be proceeding: a conscious woman is who unequivocally saying yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 23. Most of her friends have been raped. She herself has been assaulted twice, forced to have sex by someone she was alone with willingly. Both times she was drunk.

What has your young adult's experience been?

Alcohol is often the reason behind becoming a victim or predator AND confusion.

All you can do as parents is teach and preach safety but can't shield them from others or even their own hag judgment.

Put them on birth control, get them HPV vaccine, buy them condoms and morning after pills, enroll them in self defense classes and shop for mace and whistle etc.

As mothers of sons, teach them about self control and consequences even if it's consensual but other person decides it wasn't.

Its a complicated world out there.

Drinking excuses when a woman says no? Or says anything other than an unequivocal yes?
Because that is the only time they shoudl be proceeding: a conscious woman is who unequivocally saying yes.

That's how it should be but unfortunately statistically that's not what happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD is 23. Most of her friends have been raped. She herself has been assaulted twice, forced to have sex by someone she was alone with willingly. Both times she was drunk.

What has your young adult's experience been?

My DD is young and not dating. But there is a similar experience with myself and my friend group. The things we have experienced or endured (e.g., groping at work, sexual assault and rape, being held down and told "you know you want it") would be shocking to people. Not only for the fact these things happened -which is bad enough- but the boys/men who did it. It's the all-American star QB, the "nice boy" from the family down the street. The son of the teacher or coach. It's not just the overt creeps doing things like this. And even if we told you, you wouldn't believe us.

And it's not an exception.

Coming here to say this. I don't think I know a single adult woman who hasn't experienced some form of sexual coercion in a romantic relationship. I have. My sister and mother have. My friends. Their friends. Your friends. Men feel entitled to women's bodies. Whether it's in a relationship or not. Whether they even know you or not.

It's not that it's happening more. It's that we are not concealing it to protect men's feelings and our reputations anymore.