“First come, first serve” household?

[Anonymous]

DH was raised in one of these types of families so when it comes to things like meals, or seating in the car for example, he feels no one has dibs on anything. So he’s not saving our teen a plate who went out to hang with friends, or setting aside the post-doctor appointment McDonalds lunch from the rest of the house if one kid is at school and one kid stayed home.

I’m an only child and this erks me to an extent because whenever I ask for someone to save me a plate whether in my home or at a party, I’ve noticed that some people truly won’t. It’s minor in the grand scheme of life but I never experienced someone eating the last slice of pizza growing up or cutting into my name on my birthday slice I set aside.

Are you someone who calls and supports a dibs system? Or a first come, first served type of person/household?

[Anonymous]

I didn't know names were saved on cakes. At most, if a young bday kid requests an area, I'll cut it first for them

I save food for people that are arriving later but I probably side with your dh on most of these situations

[Anonymous]

I don't care how you were raised, I can't imagine gobbling up all of dinner knowing that my teen is going to be hungry when he gets home.

[Anonymous]

The set aside system for food as described doesn't make sense to me. Why would someone want to eat a 4 hour old McDonald's burger? And if the teen is hanging out with friends at dinner time, why isn't he eating with them? Why do you need someone to save you a plate at a party? Just eat maybe?

I think you are territorial about food in a way that someone from a large family is not. Food is just food. It's not that deep. If what you wanted is gone eat something else.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely save food from a meal if my kid would be joining later (provided there’s nothing else to serve them). It’s weird not to save food for family members if you know they’ll need to eat.

[Anonymous]

I think I’m also more on your DHs side- who wants mcD that’s been sitting out for 3-4 hours? Setting aside a plate for someone who’s not at the party on time- if they’re running out of food, seems like people there should eat it first. I might do it if people are grabbing 2nd and 3rds or the food is sitting around and you want to put it aside to prevent all the touching?

[Anonymous]

So saving dinner for whoever is not home at dinner time is just basic "taking care of your children" and is much more efficient. If he throwing food away instead of just leaving for someone else to eat?

I don't understand the other complaints though. Save you a plate at a party? McDonalds after the doctor?

We do save the last piece of birthday cake for whoever's birthday cake it was. But the name thing is weird to me.

[Anonymous]

So if your driving and you have a kid who gets to the front seat first, Dad will sit in the back? I suspect these rules only come out when they don't involve him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So if your driving and you have a kid who gets to the front seat first, Dad will sit in the back? I suspect these rules only come out when they don't involve him.

Lol! My teen jumps in the front seat if I'm driving and he beats dad out the door!

[Anonymous]

Op here. So this is interesting I thought everyone did the flowers and name when it came to birthday cakes . Growing up in the circle I did, the birthday child’s name was always saved for them or their picture if it was a photo cake. Then other kids or adults would choose to eat the icing flowers slices.

No, to answer the is food thrown away, no so the food would then be open grounds for anyone present to take a second or third helping so the person who wasn’t there for dinner would be fending for themselves and grabbing whatever other leftovers are in the fridge or cooking themselves something. However they decide.

[Anonymous]

You really need a balance on this. I was with you but it got really complicated to make work when sports/doctor visits/etc. meant fast food treat was far easiest for feeding one kid and not practical to give the other equal. We have issues with one kid gorging on the treats we bring home whereas our savorer goes to get ice cream a few days after grocery shopping day and it's all been eaten by the same kid week after week. Therefore, we now buy them separate treats and label them.

[Anonymous]

I have the same issue with my DH, OP, and I'm not an only child. My issue with DH is that he will simply eat all the food because he eats more food, and this means that often DD and I don't get as much of "special" food in the house because he was more hungry.

So yes, if we get special takeout, he'll eat all the leftovers without asking if anyone else wants any, meaning he gets twice as much as anyone else did. It is rude and annoying.

However I have gotten him to stop doing it for specific things, by just doing fewer communal things. So now DD and I both have foods and snacks that are "ours" and no one else can have any unless they ask. This has finally allowed us to have snacks or leftovers around the house that don't get vacuumed up by my voracious DH before we have a chance to eat them. I used to have to label them but I'm starting to not do that and DH seems to have internalized, for instance, that he can't eat up all of DD's favorite crackers that I buy explicitly of her lunch, or eat the leftover Thai food that I ordered extra of specifically so I could have leftovers the next day. It's taken years to get this through to him though. He used to just wander around the kitchen eating whatever he found without thinking for a second whether it was being saved specifically by a family member. So weird!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care how you were raised, I can't imagine gobbling up all of dinner knowing that my teen is going to be hungry when he gets home.

+1 We always save food for a family member if they're eating later. It's so rude not to.

Although my sister and our brothers used to get so annoyed with each other because she would save her dessert or part of her meal, then expect it to be there the next day. Of course they would eat it. I kind of see both points of view on this. She preferred to eat her portion at a different time, and they were hungry teens who wanted another helping at dinner that she wasn't eating. I guess it depends whether you're a "here's your share" kind of person vs. a "it's dinner time everyone eat your fill" kind of person.

[Anonymous]

Idk, if my spouse or kid is out of the house at a mealtime, I assume they are eating that meal wherever they are at mealtime. So unless they communicate otherwise, we don't specifically save food for that person and and any leftovers go in the fridge.

Birthday cakes are fair game after the birthday. On the day of, the birthday person gets the first piece (and if part of the cake has extra frosting or whatever they can pick whatever piece they want) but any leftovers are fair game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't care how you were raised, I can't imagine gobbling up all of dinner knowing that my teen is going to be hungry when he gets home.

Yeah, I mean, don't you make enough food for 4 (or whatever number of people)? And so if the 3 people at home eat the food for 4, aren't they overeating? That sounds greedy.