Extreme fear of dogs

[Anonymous]

Anyone dealt with this in an early elementary kid? It's gotten worse with time, not better, and become a source of stress in the family. We live in a neighborhood with a ton of dogs and stuff like walking to the playground can be stressful. We don't have a dog and only a few of our friends do, so somewhat minimal opportunities to help build comfort through exposure.

Is this something that goes away with time or should we be doing more to address it. It's intense fear, not just a general wariness, to the point that I now find myself tensing up when I see a dog coming down the sidewalk even though I am not afraid of dogs, just because I know DC will have a strong reaction.

[Anonymous]

Someone I know said she has always been deathly afraid of animals in general, no matter how small or old.

She left my baby shower because the person hosting it had a medium size, friendly dog in the house. They offered to put the dog in a room and close the door, but that wasn't good enough. This person would not go out into their back yard because she saw a cat on the fence once. She did not want a family member coming to stay with her at Thanksgiving because the family member had a little dog with them, and they didn't want to board the dog because last time they did, it traumatized the dog.

Get it fixed. Don't let her grow up like the above person. IMO, it hampers her life, and makes life for those around her more difficult.

[Anonymous]

I think therapy may be in order. I don’t suggest therapy lightly, but this fear of dogs is impacting her quality of life, limiting activities and causing stress to other family members. Untreated anxiety is a terrible thing. Your dd doesn’t ever need to like dogs or spend time in close proximity to them, but she does need to be able to walk down her own street without experiencing fight-or-flight level panic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Someone I know said she has always been deathly afraid of animals in general, no matter how small or old.

She left my baby shower because the person hosting it had a medium size, friendly dog in the house. They offered to put the dog in a room and close the door, but that wasn't good enough. This person would not go out into their back yard because she saw a cat on the fence once. She did not want a family member coming to stay with her at Thanksgiving because the family member had a little dog with them, and they didn't want to board the dog because last time they did, it traumatized the dog.

Get it fixed. Don't let her grow up like the above person. IMO, it hampers her life, and makes life for those around her more difficult.

OP here. I mean, that's why I'm asking -- trying to figure out HOW to address it. But for what it's worth, this is a very dog-specific fear. We have a cat and DC is fine with him. They aren't best buddies but that's as much the cat's choice as DC's, but they do hang out together and DC will even play with the cat sometimes.

So it's not an "all animals" thing. It's a dog thing. And the bigger the dog, the bigger the fear. So it's not totally irrational either.

Would love to hear from people who actually have or had kids with this fear and how you handled it.

[Anonymous]

My kids were fairly extreme in their fear of dogs. They would still walk places, but reluctantly and it wouldn't be much fun. I'd try to slowly expose her to super docile or old dogs. A healthy fear of dogs is a good thing, but the flip side is that a dog that will be problematic to your child can sense their fear and will elevate their own behavior because of it. I know because my once terrified kids begged for a dog during the pandemic and we now own a dog who reacts strongly to people's fear (but is otherwise ok around people/kids).

[Anonymous]

I got my kid therapy. A friend who is a child psychologist talked to them for ten minutes and then walked over to me and was like "Yep, this isn't going to get better without concentrated effort. Let me know if you want a name."

[Anonymous]

Another thing I think can help is very basic dog training videos on YouTube -- dogs respond to training easily and it could help your daughter feel more in control if she knew a hand signal that could make a dog sit, etc. Or maybe things like the WeRateDogs top 5 dogs of the week videos?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think therapy may be in order. I don’t suggest therapy lightly, but this fear of dogs is impacting her quality of life, limiting activities and causing stress to other family members. Untreated anxiety is a terrible thing. Your dd doesn’t ever need to like dogs or spend time in close proximity to them, but she does need to be able to walk down her own street without experiencing fight-or-flight level panic.

+1. An anxiety this strong that is getting worse with time needs to be addressed. It will limit and impact them for their entire lives.

[Anonymous]

We got a small dog. It took me months not to be scared of her but I still am dogs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another thing I think can help is very basic dog training videos on YouTube -- dogs respond to training easily and it could help your daughter feel more in control if she knew a hand signal that could make a dog sit, etc. Or maybe things like the WeRateDogs top 5 dogs of the week videos?

How woke this help if the dog is not trained in those commands?

[Anonymous]

I was deathly afraid of dogs as a child. We moved to the country and a neighbor had free range dogs that were elderly and docile. They used to hang out on our porch and nap and enjoyed being pet. This got me over my fear.
Find a relaxed dog that never jumps or barks for your kid to spend some time with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got my kid therapy. A friend who is a child psychologist talked to them for ten minutes and then walked over to me and was like "Yep, this isn't going to get better without concentrated effort. Let me know if you want a name."

What did this therapy look like? How did it help? How long did it take?

[Anonymous]

I have spent my whole life being afraid of dogs. I have had dogs and I’m afraid of all but my own. Nothing worked. But it’s not really that limiting. I tell people in advance if they have dogs and they are accommodating. People on the street don’t generally let their dogs come up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing I think can help is very basic dog training videos on YouTube -- dogs respond to training easily and it could help your daughter feel more in control if she knew a hand signal that could make a dog sit, etc. Or maybe things like the WeRateDogs top 5 dogs of the week videos?

How woke this help if the dog is not trained in those commands?

Dog training isn't really training the dog - it's training the person. There are hand signals that can be tied to each verbal command and dogs typically instinctively sit when you give the hand signal for sit without the verbal command. That said, I don't expect that OP's kid will be out on the street training dogs, just that she could use it to feel more in control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think therapy may be in order. I don’t suggest therapy lightly, but this fear of dogs is impacting her quality of life, limiting activities and causing stress to other family members. Untreated anxiety is a terrible thing. Your dd doesn’t ever need to like dogs or spend time in close proximity to them, but she does need to be able to walk down her own street without experiencing fight-or-flight level panic.

I agree with this and I don't understand why someone called it a "stupid take" without any explanation of why it's stupid, or what they'd propose instead.

My grandma would actually become catatonic with fear if she saw, or even heard, a dog or a cat. My mom didn't want to perpetuate this, so she'd hang onto the stroller for dear life and force herself to walk past animals. At first, she'd have to cross the street, but eventually she'd walk right by them, and she let me get a kitten when I was 6. I am in awe of her strength.

One can't expect a young child to be able to deal with such anxiety all by themselves. I'd get therapy for her.