Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ahmad
Zahra

American-born convert married to an Arab Muslim.

[Anonymous]

DC 1 Breaker
DC 2 Crew

[Anonymous]

Maya
Max

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anonymous



My three boys are Grant, Rick and Andrew.

(new, but PP a few pages back)

I'll bet that Rick never goes by anything else. Your DH hates his given name, Richard, and never, ever wanted to be called Dick. Your DH was so concerned about teasing potential that he refused, absolutely refused, to bestow this name upon your firstborn.

So, you chose the name Grant for its sincere, plain masculinity and to appease your husband; Grant won't have a nickname. When Grant was a toddler, you and your husband called him "G", but your DH stopped calling Grant this and now you are the lone hold out. To absolutely everyone else in the world, Grant's Grant, but you, Mom, call him G. Cute.

Back to Rick: he is most certainly NOT a junior. Your DH finally caved when you found out you were having a boy; ok, Richard is fine and we'll call him Rick and Rick only. Never Ricky because he is not a NASCAR driver! Richard is thrilled to have a namesake, especially since y'all were going to stop with JUST the two boys...

Seven years after you told everyone that Rick was "the caboose"...surprise (sort of). You wanted another one (secretly, when Rick was about 4) but Richard would freak out at the thought of yet another child. Money was tight with two boys and Richard has always been conservative/stingy to a fault and overly focused on "saving." He keeps the budget on a spreadsheet he devised and is constantly tinkering with it (and reminding you that you spend way too much on junk food for the boys) and figuring out ways to save more. You and your DH fight about money. A lot. It's really about control, how he was raised and his fear that he'll make the same mistakes as his dad, God rest his soul.

Your husband is also "one of your boys."

Andrew truly completes your family and you can't imagine not having your three (4!) boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best DCUM thread ever!

OK, I'll give it up:

Sam
Evan
Lily

Hit me with your best shot!

You had Sam and Evan without any difficulty and love them both dearly, but you were determined to have a girl so you put your name in the hat to adopt from China.[b] And then you waited and waited and waited. When you finally got that wonderful referral, Sam was in high school and Evan was in middle school. You had forgotten what it was like to change diapers on very little sleep while also dealing with the bundle of issues that come with international adoptions.[b] Your sweet, Lily, is a fierce and fiery toddler who keeps all of you alternating between adoration and bewilderment. You now juggle soccer tournaments with play groups and therapy sessions. You can't remember the last time you had sex with your husband and you find yourself forgetting important dates and familiar names. You are parenting a very different child at a very different stage of life and it all feels out of whack, but you can't admit that to anyone because you have plastered on a joyful smile while popping in another annoying children's cd. All will eventually settle down and you will sleep again and Lily will lead a fairly happy life and your boys will be proud of their multicultural family and your husband will be relieved to have you hold his hand again.

Well done. The kids are closer in age than you thought, but otherwise, you nailed it. They're now in HS and college. Lily is quite happy, I think, as are the boys (who are no longer boys, but young men). Though we are a multicultural family, I'm not sure we think of ourselves that way very often. Recently we met Evan's roommate's family for the first time and when the mom commented on this, it took me a few minutes to figure out what she was talking about (me: "Oh yeah, Lily's Chinese.") And, yes, DH and I are happy in our almost-empty nest. BTW, did you know the dog's name is Ruby?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sasha
Malia[/quote

RE the mom - you worked hard your entire life and achieved it all - Ivy league undergrad degree; Harvard Law Degree. You have somewhat of a chip on your shoulder though and it was hard being one of the few African American women at your college and law school. Then, you worked in Big Law and met your handsome idealistic husband. You were almost 30 and pressured him to get married rather than just living together. He could have gotten a top dollar job, too, but he wanted to be a Con Law professor and so you kept working long hours making more money than him so that you and he could pay down those student loans. He found his true passion -writing and politics - and finally it has paid off.

Now you don't have to work anymore! You weren't so sure you would like being a SAHM but it has turned out to be great. Except for all the meet and greet events, this is a piece of cake compared to working as a corporate attorney. Your current situation primarily involves making sure you look good and taking care of your tween age daughters who are very nice girls. You spend most of your time working out (esp. your upper arms) and picking out outfits. Sometimes you take extravagant trips (such as to the south of France with your girlfriends) but hubby got irate and put the kibbosh on that. So, now it is the Vineyard and Aspen for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many Claires. Did none of these people see The Breakfast Club?

BC was my generation's movie and Claire's name always, always always bothered me.

Claire was not at all a popular name for a girl born in 1968-70. I'm that age and did not know of one Claire in my huge, regional high school. Not one in a class of 550.

So, the line sneeringly delivered that, "Claire is a Fat Girl's name," made no sense to me. was the point that only an unattractive, remarkably heavy/different girl would have such a name? If so, that was lost on most of the teenage moviegoers of the time. Why Claire?

If the idea was to have a dated, out-of-style name, then how about "Mom Name" at the time like Pamela, Linda, Judy, Connie? See, that would seem kind of an off-beat name for a teenage girl to have in the late 80s. Plus, Claire was an uber-popular, It girl and with Molly Ringwald/Ringworm in the role, I just couldn't buy it. No way did she look anything like the cool, popular girls I knew (and aspired to be). Besides, none of the popular girls back then would have dared to have short hair.

Apologies for the bloggy rant. I've clearly thought about this for a long, long time.

I was born in 1968 too and you are spot on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best DCUM thread ever!

OK, I'll give it up:

Sam
Evan
Lily

Hit me with your best shot!

You had Sam and Evan without any difficulty and love them both dearly, but you were determined to have a girl so you put your name in the hat to adopt from China.[b] And then you waited and waited and waited. When you finally got that wonderful referral, Sam was in high school and Evan was in middle school. You had forgotten what it was like to change diapers on very little sleep while also dealing with the bundle of issues that come with international adoptions.[b] Your sweet, Lily, is a fierce and fiery toddler who keeps all of you alternating between adoration and bewilderment. You now juggle soccer tournaments with play groups and therapy sessions. You can't remember the last time you had sex with your husband and you find yourself forgetting important dates and familiar names. You are parenting a very different child at a very different stage of life and it all feels out of whack, but you can't admit that to anyone because you have plastered on a joyful smile while popping in another annoying children's cd. All will eventually settle down and you will sleep again and Lily will lead a fairly happy life and your boys will be proud of their multicultural family and your husband will be relieved to have you hold his hand again.

Well done. The kids are closer in age than you thought, but otherwise, you nailed it. They're now in HS and college. Lily is quite happy, I think, as are the boys (who are no longer boys, but young men). Though we are a multicultural family, I'm not sure we think of ourselves that way very often. Recently we met Evan's roommate's family for the first time and when the mom commented on this, it took me a few minutes to figure out what she was talking about (me: "Oh yeah, Lily's Chinese.") And, yes, DH and I are happy in our almost-empty nest. BTW, did you know the dog's name is Ruby?

I should have known...Ruby! The reason I nailed this one because it is remarkably close to home. Glad to hear all has worked out for your family and that the nearly empty nest stage isn't too sad or lonely

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Robert
Gregory
Peter

Their widowed (secretly gay) father married a cute little blond woman with three girls (Marcia, Jan, and Cindy) and they all lived happily ever after in a ranch house. The kids wondered what mom did all day because they had a full time housekeeper named Alice who seemed to do all the cooking and cleaning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best DCUM thread ever!

OK, I'll give it up:

Sam
Evan
Lily

Hit me with your best shot!

You had Sam and Evan without any difficulty and love them both dearly, but you were determined to have a girl so you put your name in the hat to adopt from China.[b] And then you waited and waited and waited. When you finally got that wonderful referral, Sam was in high school and Evan was in middle school. You had forgotten what it was like to change diapers on very little sleep while also dealing with the bundle of issues that come with international adoptions.[b] Your sweet, Lily, is a fierce and fiery toddler who keeps all of you alternating between adoration and bewilderment. You now juggle soccer tournaments with play groups and therapy sessions. You can't remember the last time you had sex with your husband and you find yourself forgetting important dates and familiar names. You are parenting a very different child at a very different stage of life and it all feels out of whack, but you can't admit that to anyone because you have plastered on a joyful smile while popping in another annoying children's cd. All will eventually settle down and you will sleep again and Lily will lead a fairly happy life and your boys will be proud of their multicultural family and your husband will be relieved to have you hold his hand again.

Well done. The kids are closer in age than you thought, but otherwise, you nailed it. They're now in HS and college. Lily is quite happy, I think, as are the boys (who are no longer boys, but young men). Though we are a multicultural family, I'm not sure we think of ourselves that way very often. Recently we met Evan's roommate's family for the first time and when the mom commented on this, it took me a few minutes to figure out what she was talking about (me: "Oh yeah, Lily's Chinese.") And, yes, DH and I are happy in our almost-empty nest. BTW, did you know the dog's name is Ruby?

I should have known...Ruby! The reason I nailed this one because it is remarkably close to home. Glad to hear all has worked out for your family and that the nearly empty nest stage isn't too sad or lonely

It's always surprising to me how many families who adopted daughters born in China also have two older sons by birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Best DCUM thread ever!

OK, I'll give it up:

Sam
Evan
Lily

Hit me with your best shot!

Gahhh, I want to reserve this, because my client is here. Can I do that?! Will get to it in 2 hours, max.

Okay. Here we go - hold onto your hat.
Sam has an underbite and at first you wondered if he'd need braces or speech therapy. Turns out the answer is no to both, and it makes him even cuter. He's only 11 but a lot of girls have crushes on him and he gets invited to a lot of girl sleepover birthday parties. You let him show up in his pjs and hang out before picking him up at 10pm. Evan is 8 and thinks Sam is totally nuts to want to spend any time with girls at all. The only girl he likes even a little bit is his five year old sister Lily. Lily makes you nervous with how smart she is. She's starting kindergarten in the fall, but you've already been warned she'll be invited to skip a grade.

Your MIL favors Evan, feeling bad for him for being the middle child, because she's the middle child in her family and had a hard time of it. Evan is pretty good about splitting whatever Grandma gives him three ways, but every time she finds out he's done that she is sure you're behind it and gets angry at you. You are a scientist, and do not believe in antibacterial anything. You get invited to speak at lectures around the world. Sometimes you work them into vacations for the family, and the family has gotten to visit some great cities.

Your DH runs a business with two friends from college, and each husband's wife is the main breadwinner. Sometimes you are jealous of how relaxed he seems. Even in the bedroom he is on the bottom while you're very goal-oriented on the top and get upset if you can't orgasm because you feel like you've wasted time, even though DH always reminds you it's about the ride rather than the destination. You once accidentally sprained DH's penis. The two of you spent MONTHS making jokes about it, DH laughing even harder than you did, but he was scared after he was cleared to have sex again.

Wel, you were right about the underbite, and I do think it makes him look cute. The bit about the sprained penis made me laugh -- very John Irving. The idea that I would be a scientist is even funnier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I posted on page 12 and never saw a response. So, trying again:

DD1: Maureen
DD2: Clara
DS1: David
DD3: Grainne

Maureen's named for your mom. Clara because it's pretty (and you thought it was unusual when you picked it). DH got to name David. Grainne was a surprise. You picked the name and you wanted something unusual and (obviously) irish-many of the other irish name names seem too trendy to you. Luckily, even with the Grainne surprise, you and DH still have a solid marriage. You would probably best be described as "culturally Catholic," but you would never let your relatives hear you say that, and the idea of divorce still makes you feel a little sick. He can be too focused on work, and you can be too focused on the kids, but since that rough patch you are really trying to make time for each other. You hope it will get easier as the kids get older. Maureen was such a sweet little girl, but now as a teen she's a handful. Catholic school didn't work out. She didn't care, because she wanted a school with art classes and boys, but it was awkward explaining it all to the family.

is this the one you were looking for pp?

Was there another one where Maureen was the child from a teen pregnancy, then mom became a dental tech and remarried the dentist with whom she had the other 3 kids? Am I blurring 2 thumbnails together here?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maya
Max

You are an artsy type, while your husband is more traditional. He chose Max, you chose Maya. The kids are close in age and you have done the whole attachment parenting thing...co-sleeping, babywearing, breast feeding, clothe diapering, and home made baby food....and it has nearly killed you. You are worn out, cranky, and wishing you had spaced the kids out a bit more, but you were worried about fertility issues since that has been issue for a lot of your friends. Your husband keeps begging you to get a housekeeper or to consider getting a part-time sitter so you can catch up on some rest. He tries his best to help out but his job is demanding and his patience is thin. If he was at home all of the time, things would be done differently, but he doesn't want to upset you any more than you already are. He is worried that you will eventually have some sort of breakdown because he's never seen you so haggard and stressed. Max is clingy and doesn't want anything to do with your husband which doesn't help the situation. Maya is sweet, but high strung. You miss having time to paint and write. You miss going to movies and playing board games with friends. You pretend to like the other crunchy mamas in the AP playgroup, but most of them are smelly and crude or mild and mousy. You miss being around creative, quirky, and energetic people. Your fear is that this stage will never end and if one more person tells you to savor this time with your babies, you will hit them. You have a bedside stash of dark chocolates, twizzlers, and mentos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Taylor

Divorced mom in your mid- late forties. Taylor is in middle school and you argue constantly. You have strong opinions and so does she. Your mom laughs when you complain about and tells you "payback is hell". You were a real bitch to her when you were a teen-ager and wish you hadn't been so mean. Taylor spends every other weekend her dad and his new wife. You like those weekends by yourself when you drink too much wine, watch a bunch of bad chick flicks, and occasionally go out to bars with a few of your other divorced friends. You don't think you will ever re-marry but you are still attractive and men notice you on a fairly regular basis. You wish things had worked out with your marriage and sometimes fantasize about having an affair with your ex. You wear Clinique, you shop at TJ Maxx, and you wish you had a hot tub.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maya
Max

You are an artsy type, while your husband is more traditional. He chose Max, you chose Maya. The kids are close in age and you have done the whole attachment parenting thing...co-sleeping, babywearing, breast feeding, clothe diapering, and home made baby food....and it has nearly killed you. You are worn out, cranky, and wishing you had spaced the kids out a bit more, but you were worried about fertility issues since that has been issue for a lot of your friends. Your husband keeps begging you to get a housekeeper or to consider getting a part-time sitter so you can catch up on some rest. He tries his best to help out but his job is demanding and his patience is thin. If he was at home all of the time, things would be done differently, but he doesn't want to upset you any more than you already are. He is worried that you will eventually have some sort of breakdown because he's never seen you so haggard and stressed. Max is clingy and doesn't want anything to do with your husband which doesn't help the situation. Maya is sweet, but high strung. You miss having time to paint and write. You miss going to movies and playing board games with friends. You pretend to like the other crunchy mamas in the AP playgroup, but most of them are smelly and crude or mild and mousy. You miss being around creative, quirky, and energetic people. Your fear is that this stage will never end and if one more person tells you to savor this time with your babies, you will hit them. You have a bedside stash of dark chocolates, twizzlers, and mentos.

A lot of things were true, PP, but the candy stash was hidden you totally outed me,psychic PP