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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Best DCUM thread ever!

OK, I'll give it up:

Sam
Evan 
Lily

Hit me with your best shot![/quote]

Gahhh, I want to reserve this, because my client is here. Can I do that?! Will get to it in 2 hours, max.[/quote]

Okay. Here we go - hold onto your hat. 
Sam has an underbite and at first you wondered if he'd need braces or speech therapy. Turns out the answer is no to both, and it makes him even cuter. He's only 11 but a lot of girls have crushes on him and he gets invited to a lot of girl sleepover birthday parties. You let him show up in his pjs and hang out before picking him up at 10pm. Evan is 8 and thinks Sam is totally nuts to want to spend any time with girls at all. The only girl he likes even a little bit is his five year old sister Lily. Lily makes you nervous with how smart she is. She's starting kindergarten in the fall, but you've already been warned she'll be invited to skip a grade.

Your MIL favors Evan, feeling bad for him for being the middle child, because she's the middle child in her family and had a hard time of it. Evan is pretty good about splitting whatever Grandma gives him three ways, but every time she finds out he's done that she is sure you're behind it and gets angry at you. You are a scientist, and do not believe in antibacterial anything. You get invited to speak at lectures around the world. Sometimes you work them into vacations for the family, and the family has gotten to visit some great cities.

Your DH runs a business with two friends from college, and each husband's wife is the main breadwinner. Sometimes you are jealous of how relaxed he seems. Even in the bedroom he is on the bottom while you're very goal-oriented on the top and get upset if you can't orgasm because you feel like you've wasted time, even though DH always reminds you it's about the ride rather than the destination. You once accidentally sprained DH's penis. The two of you spent MONTHS making jokes about it, DH laughing even harder than you did, but he was scared after he was cleared to have sex again. [/quote]

Wel, you were right about the underbite, and I do think it makes him look cute.  The bit about the sprained penis made me laugh -- very John Irving.  The idea that I would be a scientist is even funnier.  [/quote]

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