Post your DCs names and we'll tell you what we assume about you. Snark is obviously expected!
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Anonymous
You had Jaelynn shortly after you graduated from Howard (with honors). You were embarrassed to tell your sorority sisters, because you had always said you would NEVER be a single mom. You thought maybe you could make it work with Jaelynn's dad, but he was just going to drag you down. You were scared to tell your mom. She was not happy, but she was a big help with the baby. It was hard, but you made it work. You couldn't go to law school like you wanted, but you got a good fed job. Then a couple year later you met Darryl while he was on a year-long research fellowship at the Smithsonian for his Ph.D. in ethnomusicology. You got married after you'd known each other for nine months. Thankfully, he was able to get a tt job at a local university, because your mom would have lost it if you had moved away. Sometimes D drives you crazy, because he is just not a sensible man, but you've got love-and Jarrett and Ella, who came two years after you got married. |
Anonymous
You are a young Morman wife who recently moved to Silver Spring with your doting husband, your five year old daughter, your three year old son, and your adorable cocker spaniel. You miss your family in Utah, but you know that this move was a good one for your husband's career with Marriott. You have already met a few new friends in your ward and your daughter is thrilled to have a girl from her new class living across the street. You are in the process of unpacking and turning your rental house into a "home"...hanging family photos, unpacking your wedding china, and buying new shower curtains at Target. Your complexion if flawless, you dress simply, cutely and always have a smile on your face even when you feel like throttling your husband because he didn't show up on time to help you buy the mattresses for the kids rooms. You hope to have as many children as God wants you to have and you hope you will be pregnant by the end of the summer since you've got that familiar yearning for a baby in your arms. Two of your sisters are currently pregnant and so is one of your sisters-in-law. You are obedient and observant, but occasionally you speed and you hate all of the hidden traffic cameras here. Your husband was very disappointed when you got that ticket last month. You love s'mores and you every now and then you wonder what it would be like to smoke pot. |
Anonymous
| Miles. |
Anonymous
I totally think of her doctor's appointment (where she downed two sodas) when I feel like I'm drinking too much or urinating too much. I'm not too worried though because I'm not trendy and from NYC. |
Anonymous
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Ahmad
Zahra |
Anonymous
You have been married for ten years. Your husband is a firefighter and you met at a coffee near campus when you were taking education classes at U of MD. You started dating, but didn't think it would really lead to anything. You both came from such different families. His blue collar and rural; yours educated, upper middle class. During your summer break, you went up to New Hampshire to work at a summer camp. You thought it would an easy to way to break things off, but you ended up realizing during your time apart that you actually loved the guy. At the end of the summer, you were engaged and eloped to Vegas for a weekend wedding. Your parents and friends were shocked. A few months later you were surprised, but happy to discover that you were pregnant with baby Scarlett. You dropped out of school and started decorating the nursery. Your parents had been hoping your marriage would fizzle out, but with a baby on the way they began to realize that this was a more permanent situation. The first year of Scarlett's life was your happiest. You became more accustomed to his shifts and you loved seeing all of the changes that happened with Scarlett. You made new friends with the women in the apartment complex who also had young children. Michael and John quickly followed several years later. Life got busier, your marriage began to get a little stale, and you realized that the baby fat just never seemed to disappear. When John entered kindergarten, you began to think about going back to school and finishing up your degree. You are currently taking a few classes each semester and loving it. You had an unexpected fling with one of your professors which was a nice pick-me-up for your confidence and pushed you get back into jogging, so now that baby fat is finally gone and you actually find yourself feeling attracted to your husband again and grateful he never found out about your affair. Scarlett is a little chubby but you keep telling yourself she will shoot up any day now and you have stopped buying full fat ice cream since that is something she loves a little too much. Michael has red hair and a ton of freckles. John is quiet, but devilish and a very advanced reader. Your husband is proud of his family and likes to brag to his buddies about your family trips, especially that Disney Cruise you did last winter. |
Anonymous
| Bettina |
Anonymous
| My three boys are Grant, Rick and Andrew. |
Anonymous
Married late, had your first at 38. Pregnancy was fraught with complications and even small problems - borderline gestational diabetes - we're ultra-stressful and you told your hubby it was one and done. He was 42 at the time and was more than happy to have only one. He has a sister, but they've never been close, so he doesn't feel the need for siblings. You live in Woodley / Cleveland park in a single family home on a small lot. No parking, but you renovated the kitchen recently and on nights you can't find parking, you assure yourself the kitchen makes up for the long walk in the cold. You and DH work in big law; DH was just made "special counsel." Miles is 6 now, so you're ramping up your work schedule; you reason that he's no longer a baby and his afte school babysitter is an AU undergrad who is a good homework helper. You often have your neighbors over for sunday dinner, |
Anonymous
You loved the name Maddie ever since your mom let you watch Moonlighting as a tween. Maddie Hayes was such a classy, beautiful, and successful woman. How could you not have idolized her? Of course the best part was her winning over (the then) handsome and quirky David Addison. It wasn't long after little Maddie was born that you discovered everyone and their brother (mine included) has a DD named Maddie. This prompted you to call her Dell instead. It's a cool nickname and when you call her on the soccer field you are guaranteed to only have one head turn. Quinn is nearly a decade younger than Maddie. Same father but you two never felt pressured to have another child and you figured if it was meant to be it would happen. Just as soon as you figured it wasn't happening you discovered that it was indeed going to happen. Since the pregnancy was such a surprise you decided that you would pick a name for the new baby that would fit a boy or a girl because you wanted that to be a surprise as well. Your mother's maiden name was Quinn and you secretly loved Daria but you didn't expect your DH to agree on the name. Fast Forward to the inception of Glee and now everyone is asking if you named Quinn after the Glee character. You didn't but nearly every other Quinn the same age was. How were you supposed to know that you would be burned by a TV show twice? |
Anonymous
That's my nieces name. First and last. |
Anonymous
Not my kids, but suffice it to say the parents imagine themselves to be more important than they are. |
Anonymous
| So many Claires. Did none of these people see The Breakfast Club? |
Anonymous
BC was my generation's movie and Claire's name always, always always bothered me. Claire was not at all a popular name for a girl born in 1968-70. I'm that age and did not know of one Claire in my huge, regional high school. Not one in a class of 550. So, the line sneeringly delivered that, "Claire is a Fat Girl's name," made no sense to me. was the point that only an unattractive, remarkably heavy/different girl would have such a name? If so, that was lost on most of the teenage moviegoers of the time. Why Claire? If the idea was to have a dated, out-of-style name, then how about "Mom Name" at the time like Pamela, Linda, Judy, Connie? See, that would seem kind of an off-beat name for a teenage girl to have in the late 80s. Plus, Claire was an uber-popular, It girl and with Molly Ringwald/Ringworm in the role, I just couldn't buy it. No way did she look anything like the cool, popular girls I knew (and aspired to be). Besides, none of the popular girls back then would have dared to have short hair. Apologies for the bloggy rant. I've clearly thought about this for a long, long time. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
My three boys are Grant, Rick and Andrew. You and your DH come from solid Midwestern stock, the types of people who are tall, broad shouldered with ruddy complexions and dishwater blond hair. You married young, just out of college to your college sweetheart a nice plainspoken guy with kindly grey eyes. After school you guys moved to the big city, which for you was St.Louis where your DH worked as a high school baseball coach and you were an ER nurse at a public hospital. You found innercity gun violence unnerving and soon felt overwhelmed by all the horrible accidents flooding the ER. So you decided to take a break from nursing to concentrate on getting pregnant and raising your kids. Grant was your first son, a mischievous tow haired kid with a gap toothed grin and quick wit. Then came Rick, the quiet thinker with his father's grey eyes. Finally, Andrew who was inexplicably small for his age and had red hair. The children came in such quick succession that you guys barely had time to pause and consider "the next step." Though there's no way you wanna be pregnant again, you sometimes pine for a daughter who you would have named Kate, after your grandmother. After a few years as a SAHM, you realize you miss that calling which drew you into nursing. But this time you want a slower paced gig. So, quite contrary to how you guys have made every other decision, on a whim you applied to a pediatric office in Wheaton and your hubby to a private Protestant school. The fates aligned and you loaded up in your 8 year old blue Ford Escape and made the journey east. Life seemed to fit into place. The kids made friends easily as did both of you guys. You weren't able to sell your two story colonial back in St.Louis in this market. So you're renting it out. In Wheaton you guys are renting a brick mid century Ranch with a leaky basement. You have a dog named Grover and pin recipes of desserts you never have time to make on Pinterest. |