Are you offended when someone says they “didnt want someone else to raise my kids”?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

So just call yourself a SAHM. What’s the difference?

Because I was not… I was a WOHM who made $200k+.

Why are you so antagonistic about this? It’s a good thing when working parents are able to flex their schedules to spend a ton of time with their kids. Maybe not as much as SAHPs (I didn’t claim to do so in my original post) but still a solid chunk so that they feel really connected with their kids.

Work out of home but spends the same amount of time at home. Ok.

I worked 11:15-6 in the office and he worked 8-4 in the office. I had a shorter commute, less demanding job, and lower salary than him. We both logged in for an hour or two every night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^ And I love that my kids were able to spend a ton of time one-on-one with me in the morning and DH in the evening. It played to both of our strengths bc I’m good at planning fun outings, while he excels in making the dinner/bath routine enjoyable. We both did bedtime.

So why do care about the comment the OP is talking about that has nothing to do with you? Your insecurity and defensiveness really don’t square with what you’re saying.

I don’t really care about the “raising” comment because you’re right, it doesn’t apply to me, or to any other engaged mom whether they work or not.

However, it is absolutely true that a traditional setup with both spouses working 9-5 commuting is not conducive to really connecting with your kids in a relaxed manner. (I myself don’t find the evening routine relaxed).

So maybe I am trying to inspire other WOHMs who love their jobs but are on the fence of quitting, that they can try this alternate path of staggering hours? I probably would have quit if I hadn’t been able to do it, but I am very lucky to have been able to, and would love other families to do it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

So just call yourself a SAHM. What’s the difference?

Because I was not… I was a WOHM who made $200k+.

Why are you so antagonistic about this? It’s a good thing when working parents are able to flex their schedules to spend a ton of time with their kids. Maybe not as much as SAHPs (I didn’t claim to do so in my original post) but still a solid chunk so that they feel really connected with their kids.

Work out of home but spends the same amount of time at home. Ok.

I worked 11:15-6 in the office and he worked 8-4 in the office. I had a shorter commute, less demanding job, and lower salary than him. We both logged in for an hour or two every night.

Here’s your cookie. Nobody cares.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

So just call yourself a SAHM. What’s the difference?

Because I was not… I was a WOHM who made $200k+.

Why are you so antagonistic about this? It’s a good thing when working parents are able to flex their schedules to spend a ton of time with their kids. Maybe not as much as SAHPs (I didn’t claim to do so in my original post) but still a solid chunk so that they feel really connected with their kids.

Work out of home but spends the same amount of time at home. Ok.

I worked 11:15-6 in the office and he worked 8-4 in the office. I had a shorter commute, less demanding job, and lower salary than him. We both logged in for an hour or two every night.

Here’s your cookie. Nobody cares.

Maybe you think I am offended… but this comment just makes you sound petulant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

So just call yourself a SAHM. What’s the difference?

Because I was not… I was a WOHM who made $200k+.

Why are you so antagonistic about this? It’s a good thing when working parents are able to flex their schedules to spend a ton of time with their kids. Maybe not as much as SAHPs (I didn’t claim to do so in my original post) but still a solid chunk so that they feel really connected with their kids.

Work out of home but spends the same amount of time at home. Ok.

I worked 11:15-6 in the office and he worked 8-4 in the office. I had a shorter commute, less demanding job, and lower salary than him. We both logged in for an hour or two every night.

Here’s your cookie. Nobody cares.

Maybe you think I am offended… but this comment just makes you sound petulant

You’re out of the home about 7 hours a day. Not sure why you’re engaging in arguments with SAHM about how much quality time you have at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not an acceptable turn of phrase.

But I am not offended because it shows the low character of the speaker. Just as if they had said they work FT because “I wanted to use my brain”

- I absolutely LOVE this response!!! THIS!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

So just call yourself a SAHM. What’s the difference?

Because I was not… I was a WOHM who made $200k+.

Why are you so antagonistic about this? It’s a good thing when working parents are able to flex their schedules to spend a ton of time with their kids. Maybe not as much as SAHPs (I didn’t claim to do so in my original post) but still a solid chunk so that they feel really connected with their kids.

Work out of home but spends the same amount of time at home. Ok.

I worked 11:15-6 in the office and he worked 8-4 in the office. I had a shorter commute, less demanding job, and lower salary than him. We both logged in for an hour or two every night.

Here’s your cookie. Nobody cares.

Maybe you think I am offended… but this comment just makes you sound petulant

You’re out of the home about 7 hours a day. Not sure why you’re engaging in arguments with SAHM about how much quality time you have at home.

Are you being deliberately obtuse in an attempt to goad someone into saying your brain has turned to mush?

My point was I (and my husband) could still work FT, with my kids in parental care the majority of their day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The “math” poster is crazy or has seen too many shows about trophy wives.

When I sahm’d I didn’t spend more than an hour away from my 0-2.5 year olds while they were awake, and that was to shower and while Dad did bedtime. And I did have cleaners, too much takeout and a few hours on one weekend day. I don’t think that’s unusual. It was intense but how I wanted it. It took me *years* to get and stay pregnant. I made the most of every minute with my kids and it still flew by so fast.

The math poster is an idiot and embarrassed herself multiple times. She is comparing herself to some weird neighbor SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

So just call yourself a SAHM. What’s the difference?

Because I was not… I was a WOHM who made $200k+.

Why are you so antagonistic about this? It’s a good thing when working parents are able to flex their schedules to spend a ton of time with their kids. Maybe not as much as SAHPs (I didn’t claim to do so in my original post) but still a solid chunk so that they feel really connected with their kids.

Work out of home but spends the same amount of time at home. Ok.

I worked 11:15-6 in the office and he worked 8-4 in the office. I had a shorter commute, less demanding job, and lower salary than him. We both logged in for an hour or two every night.

Here’s your cookie. Nobody cares.

Maybe you think I am offended… but this comment just makes you sound petulant

You’re out of the home about 7 hours a day. Not sure why you’re engaging in arguments with SAHM about how much quality time you have at home.

Are you being deliberately obtuse in an attempt to goad someone into saying your brain has turned to mush?

My point was I (and my husband) could still work FT, with my kids in parental care the majority of their day.

But your SAHM neighbor is having a lot more fun and less stress doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

So just call yourself a SAHM. What’s the difference?

Because I was not… I was a WOHM who made $200k+.

Why are you so antagonistic about this? It’s a good thing when working parents are able to flex their schedules to spend a ton of time with their kids. Maybe not as much as SAHPs (I didn’t claim to do so in my original post) but still a solid chunk so that they feel really connected with their kids.

Work out of home but spends the same amount of time at home. Ok.

I worked 11:15-6 in the office and he worked 8-4 in the office. I had a shorter commute, less demanding job, and lower salary than him. We both logged in for an hour or two every night.

Here’s your cookie. Nobody cares.

Maybe you think I am offended… but this comment just makes you sound petulant

You’re out of the home about 7 hours a day. Not sure why you’re engaging in arguments with SAHM about how much quality time you have at home.

Are you being deliberately obtuse in an attempt to goad someone into saying your brain has turned to mush?

My point was I (and my husband) could still work FT, with my kids in parental care the majority of their day.

But your SAHM neighbor is having a lot more fun and less stress doing it.

Was that the lady who was calculating All the hours her kid napped?

I have witnessed so many horrible Nannie’s. Some are good but most are not. Some of my child’s preschool friends had Nannie’s the working parents adored but the parents could see how different the nanny would be when mom and dad were around. I know these people want to believe that their kids are in great care but it isn’t always the case.

I don’t know why my phone keeps switching to Nannie’s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

So just call yourself a SAHM. What’s the difference?

Because I was not… I was a WOHM who made $200k+.

Why are you so antagonistic about this? It’s a good thing when working parents are able to flex their schedules to spend a ton of time with their kids. Maybe not as much as SAHPs (I didn’t claim to do so in my original post) but still a solid chunk so that they feel really connected with their kids.

Work out of home but spends the same amount of time at home. Ok.

I worked 11:15-6 in the office and he worked 8-4 in the office. I had a shorter commute, less demanding job, and lower salary than him. We both logged in for an hour or two every night.

Here’s your cookie. Nobody cares.

Maybe you think I am offended… but this comment just makes you sound petulant

You’re out of the home about 7 hours a day. Not sure why you’re engaging in arguments with SAHM about how much quality time you have at home.

Are you being deliberately obtuse in an attempt to goad someone into saying your brain has turned to mush?

My point was I (and my husband) could still work FT, with my kids in parental care the majority of their day.

So you saw your kids for like 90 minutes in the morning and 90 minutes at night and your husband never saw your kids in the morning. And you both patented solo and probably got docked financially at work for your weird hours in office and then you still worked 8:30-9:30 pm with your husband every night after your kids went to bed. Sounds like a miserable situation for everyone… Maybe one of you should have stayed home or used childcare so your lives weren’t so crazy. You must be very burnt out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

So just call yourself a SAHM. What’s the difference?

Because I was not… I was a WOHM who made $200k+.

Why are you so antagonistic about this? It’s a good thing when working parents are able to flex their schedules to spend a ton of time with their kids. Maybe not as much as SAHPs (I didn’t claim to do so in my original post) but still a solid chunk so that they feel really connected with their kids.

Work out of home but spends the same amount of time at home. Ok.

I worked 11:15-6 in the office and he worked 8-4 in the office. I had a shorter commute, less demanding job, and lower salary than him. We both logged in for an hour or two every night.

Here’s your cookie. Nobody cares.

Maybe you think I am offended… but this comment just makes you sound petulant

You’re out of the home about 7 hours a day. Not sure why you’re engaging in arguments with SAHM about how much quality time you have at home.

Are you being deliberately obtuse in an attempt to goad someone into saying your brain has turned to mush?

My point was I (and my husband) could still work FT, with my kids in parental care the majority of their day.

Your brain must be mush if you think your lifestyle is appealing. Thank you next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

Newsflash: it’s not common for four year olds to nap for two hours a day. It’s actually not common for four year olds to nap (do you have an only child and think your experience with them is the norm?). 43% of 3 year olds don’t nap, which increases to 74% of four year olds and 85% of five year olds, and I imagine the four and five year olds and probably many three year olds are napping for 30 minutes and then are nightmares to put to bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The “math” poster is crazy or has seen too many shows about trophy wives.

When I sahm’d I didn’t spend more than an hour away from my 0-2.5 year olds while they were awake, and that was to shower and while Dad did bedtime. And I did have cleaners, too much takeout and a few hours on one weekend day. I don’t think that’s unusual. It was intense but how I wanted it. It took me *years* to get and stay pregnant. I made the most of every minute with my kids and it still flew by so fast.

I just don’t understand how she can spend so much quality time with her kids when she spends so much time spying on/stalking her SAHM neighbor.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All these posts "I work while my child sleeps and I spend all the waking moments with them along with my DH who also works unicorn hours. When they are preschool age we choose the best school ever....."
It's not real life, 99% of jobs are not like that and both parents equally parenting is difficult to manage too. Aren't parents often complaining about getting their spouse to take on more. I don't think the unicorn perfect parents of the world realize that most people cannot just "choose" this setup

Similarly

"I SAHM with my children, I even sleep with them to maximize my time "raising" them" ... I don't shower or cook or clean or workout or run errands or take walks or go on dates or see friends or do girls weekend or vacatino with my H or visit family without them or get sick or let my H take them or let them do independent play ever so I'm never away from them. I would never spend 1 hour away let alone 3 that is reducing my "raising" time by 20%. I spaced my kids perfectly so my toddler would never take time away from my infant."

It's not real life, 99% of SAHM's are doing stuff without their children for hours a day, they are not with them 24x7. They spend at most 6 hours a day one on one with them. I don't think it would even be healthy to be this invested and involved in every breath your child takes.

This is just not true.

+1. I can’t believe how many insecure moms are responding. Working and stay at home moms are not monolithic groups. Just because you know someone who does x does not mean that applies to all individuals in that group. The idea that working moms spend 30 minutes a day with their kids is as ludicrous as the idea that sahm spend 6 hours a day with their kids.

All of the insecure posts on here mostly directed as stay at home moms (I WFH) are insane though. Someone was offended that a poster said working moms gave up time with their kids and stay at home moms gave up status and financial security. And some crazed working mom wrote that she was insulted that someone would say working moms gave up time with their kids by working. I mean, how is it an insult to (checks notes) *state facts* unless you are so insecure that you can’t handle the truth.

So many women feel insulted by the “strangers raising my kid” comment because they feel that it is a personal attack on them and they are in complete denial about the fact that by working they spend less time with their children. Initially there were the people claiming they and their spouse worked full time and their child only had a nanny between 11-12 and 3-5 (because we all know it’s super common for children to take a three hour nap in the middle of the day from birth to five while you work and run errands🙄 and that so many nannies will accept a shambolic schedule) and since those ridiculous examples didn’t withstand scrutiny then it was the ad hominem “you dumb” after every valid argument and finally it’s this ridiculous argument that stay at home moms spend 6 hours with their kids a day (because if you’re a working parent in an office and your child naps it’s like you are right there taking care of them for all [insert unbelievably high made up number] hours they nap during the day, but if you’re a stay at home mom and your child naps you are not parenting them). It’s been illogical from the start but at this point it’s farcical too.

If you are talking about my post then you have reading comprehension issues because 1) I stated that my DH and I staggered schedules so that one left late and the other one came back early, 2) it was a 2-hour nap not 3 hours, and 3) We hired a nanny for 6 hours a day but she helped with housework when she wasn’t actively taking care of our kid.

And yes, it is perfectly reasonable to expect a child to take a 2-hour nap until age ~4 or so. Some don’t but most do.

Newsflash: it’s not common for four year olds to nap for two hours a day. It’s actually not common for four year olds to nap (do you have an only child and think your experience with them is the norm?). 43% of 3 year olds don’t nap, which increases to 74% of four year olds and 85% of five year olds, and I imagine the four and five year olds and probably many three year olds are napping for 30 minutes and then are nightmares to put to bed.

So you monitored the extent to which your nanny actively took care of your child while they napped every day for two hours at four and determined because your nanny was making you dinner during that time or cleaning your floors while you thought your child was napping that she wasn’t taking care of your child?