Can you actually prevent teens from having sex
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Anonymous
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I didn't have sex until college. My parents especially my father was very clear that if I got pregnant I would be on my own.
I'm not sure what would have happened but it put the fear of God in me. Now I'm wondering what to do with my own kids. I don't want to make idle threats, but the other thread about allowing the 15 yo over at her boyfriends house is making me think that I need to think of something. My oldest child is 10 so we haven't had the full sex talk yet. What are other parents doing to prevent teenage sex/pregnancy etc. |
Anonymous
| No idea about the other thread in which you are talking about but if I had a girl, I would require her to be on birth control. The same as requiring her to get shots throughout childhood. |
Anonymous
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If you still haven't had the full sex talk at 10, you're setting you kids up for early pregnancy.
Have the talk and keep talking. |
Anonymous
| No, you cannot prevent them from making this decision about their own body. Nor should you expect to. What you can do is make sure they have accurate info about how to stay safe and also to the best of your ability a healthy sense of their own body autonomy and boundaries. |
Anonymous
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You can't prevent it. What you can do is offer all of the information and help them understand the implications of it--std's, pregnancy, consent, messy feelings etc. Starting now with matter-of-fact conversations about how babies are made and the concept of consent is a good step.
In the future, you can certainly have ground rules about having boyfriends/girlfriends over/going to their houses. But being the safe person your kid can come to without judgement and have open conversation with (or making sure there is an adult in their life like this)--that's the key to avoiding the really bad outcomes. |
Anonymous
Require her? How like smash it up and put it in her cereal every morning? |
Anonymous
| The starting point is having a personal morality that you work from infancy to inculcate into your child, teaching that sexual relations have meaning beyond the mechanics and are not simply pleasant friction between two hormonally attracted individuals. |
Anonymous
Ok Jamie Spears. |
Anonymous
| I don’t think you can prevent a person, but you can influence the way someone thinks about sex. My attitude was always very similar to that Seinfield episode where Elaine wondered if a guy was sponge-worthy. I only ever wanted to have sex with guys who met my high standards, and most guys didn’t meet them. But the guys who did meet them made it worth having the standards. |
Anonymous
This. You can also discourage/ interfere with the boyfriend concept at the age of 15. |
Anonymous
+1. The family being active in a church or synagogue can be a big help. |
Anonymous
Agree with this. Because currently they will only get that message in the home or through a religious community you are a part of. All other media sources will encourage them to have sex without any thought of consequences, be that pregnancy, std’s or the emotions that come from being in a sexual relationship with someone. Those don’t really exist in the messaging that they get outside the home. |
Anonymous
Thank goodness you don't have a girl. Or a boy, because who are we kidding, you're definitely not a parent. 
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Anonymous
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My dad said the same, if you come home pregnant, you aren't staying here. He had significant issues about me looking pregnant, always telling me to "suck it in" and beyond mad when I was given the role of Elizabeth in the church play. I didn't have a boyfriend until 18, he was a terrible guy. I used the rhythm/pullout method and got pregnant. I had just received my student loan funding and was about to start college, I went to my abortion by myself.
Honestly I don't want my kids to become my problem should they cause a pregnancy. I'm tired. I can't do a baby or really any layer of responsibility beyond what I have. I would definitely have them use 2 kinds of birth control and really try to bring home the cause and effect responsibilities of our actions overall. And I don't think sex should be normalized for kids just because they want it. Toddlers want candy and we don't let them because it's not good for them and we understand they don't understand that. I know that's not the best example. But there's lots of things kids aren't allowed to do because they're kids. Maybe you can't stop it in every way, and that's why all the talks matter. But you can definitely stop it in some ways. I don't want my kids to go through what I did. But I also don't want to deal with the issues that come with sexual relationships in immature teenagers. |
Anonymous
My sister married the preacher’s son, they practically lived at the church and when the kids weren’t being homeschooled they were attending private Christian academy. Both girls ended up unmarried teen moms, 19 and 17. Both have substance use disorder and borderline personality disorder. I suspect they were both molested, either at church or at home - or both. |