At what point do we pull the plug?

[Anonymous]

DC is 7th grade AAP and taking Algebra Honors. MS has been an adjustment in many ways. DC has always excelled in school, especially in math, but is struggling with the Algebra. Being challenged s little bit is good, but it’s manifesting itself in anxiety, stomach upset, and moodiness which is atypical of our normally upbeat child. Is it too soon to switch to 7th honors, or do we stick it out longer? Any similar first hand experiences welcome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC is 7th grade AAP and taking Algebra Honors. MS has been an adjustment in many ways. DC has always excelled in school, especially in math, but is struggling with the Algebra. Being challenged s little bit is good, but it’s manifesting itself in anxiety, stomach upset, and moodiness which is atypical of our normally upbeat child. Is it too soon to switch to 7th honors, or do we stick it out longer? Any similar first hand experiences welcome.

Obviously you know your child better than anyone else, but based on what I see here, you have to stick it out at least a little while longer. The most important determinant of success in life is grit, and that can only be learned through doing things that are hard. It doesn't sound like your child has experienced much of that academically. Give it at least a quarter and make sure they are asking for support from Student Services during the adjustment period, both in terms of the content and in terms of the manifested symptoms - they are well-trained to handle both with children at that age.

Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is 7th grade AAP and taking Algebra Honors. MS has been an adjustment in many ways. DC has always excelled in school, especially in math, but is struggling with the Algebra. Being challenged s little bit is good, but it’s manifesting itself in anxiety, stomach upset, and moodiness which is atypical of our normally upbeat child. Is it too soon to switch to 7th honors, or do we stick it out longer? Any similar first hand experiences welcome.

Obviously you know your child better than anyone else, but based on what I see here, you have to stick it out at least a little while longer. The most important determinant of success in life is grit, and that can only be learned through doing things that are hard. It doesn't sound like your child has experienced much of that academically. Give it at least a quarter and make sure they are asking for support from Student Services during the adjustment period, both in terms of the content and in terms of the manifested symptoms - they are well-trained to handle both with children at that age.

Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.

Thanks, I appreciate this. A normal degree of angst can be good and I’d usually take it as a grain of salt. However, the level of anxiety exhibited has warranted a visit to the pediatrician and I’m concerned about DC’s physical and emotional health.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t been in this situation but my instinctive answer is talk to the teacher. It is early but share this with the teacher and see what they think. They have seen many more kids than yours and may have a good feel for things regarding when is too soon vs get out now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is 7th grade AAP and taking Algebra Honors. MS has been an adjustment in many ways. DC has always excelled in school, especially in math, but is struggling with the Algebra. Being challenged s little bit is good, but it’s manifesting itself in anxiety, stomach upset, and moodiness which is atypical of our normally upbeat child. Is it too soon to switch to 7th honors, or do we stick it out longer? Any similar first hand experiences welcome.

Obviously you know your child better than anyone else, but based on what I see here, you have to stick it out at least a little while longer. The most important determinant of success in life is grit, and that can only be learned through doing things that are hard. It doesn't sound like your child has experienced much of that academically. Give it at least a quarter and make sure they are asking for support from Student Services during the adjustment period, both in terms of the content and in terms of the manifested symptoms - they are well-trained to handle both with children at that age.

Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.

Thanks, I appreciate this. A normal degree of angst can be good and I’d usually take it as a grain of salt. However, the level of anxiety exhibited has warranted a visit to the pediatrician and I’m concerned about DC’s physical and emotional health.

Sounds like you're a great parent who is doing the right thing for your child. Best wishes!

[Anonymous]

You could also get a good tutor.

[Anonymous]

My 8th grader has only had a couple Geometry classes total so far and they haven't done much yet. Is your DC's class more fast-paced or is he stressed about something else?

I admit that I'm not a good judge, since my DC got a B+ in the class rather than an A (I could make excuses about missing lots of days of school from illness or the SBG grading system) but he'll have a B on his high school transcript. So maybe we chose wrong when we didn't pull the plug. However, I would wait and see how the next few weeks go before switching.

[Anonymous]

The issue with honors algebra classes is that many of the students have already taken an algebra class outside of school through AOPS or CTY or parents buy the AOPS workbooks or another curriculum and have their kids work through it.

If you are in a class with a bunch of those kids it is going to be hard because the teacher thinks some kids are getting it. There are some kids who haven’t done any outside math classes and excel as well. So if your kids is smart but not really mathematically inclined it makes it hard to take algebra in 7th.

What we did instead is we put our kid in honors 7th math and they took the AOPS algebra class in the evenings. In 8th grade honors algebra was a breeze. So they had time to take geometry in the evenings with AOPS. Then they took summer school geometry in the summer between 8th and 8th and caught up to the kids who took algebra in 7th. I feel like my kid did better in algebra 2 because they had such a good foundation because they had two years of algebra 1 (first year in AOPS in 7th, second year at school).

[Anonymous]

Thanks for your responses! So far, DC has had homework assignments and I believe there is a quiz next week, which will be more telling. I think first step will be to reach out to the teacher.

[Anonymous]

How did he end up in Algebra in the first place - did he want to do it, or did the parent push it?

[Anonymous]

The sooner the better. You're lucky switching is an option. Do it. Or it can bring down all of her grades/and confidence. No reason to take Algebra in 7th, if not going well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How did he end up in Algebra in the first place - did he want to do it, or did the parent push it?

DC met the qualifications and wanted to do it. We didn’t push it. We were concerned about how tough it would be but the 6th grade snd AART teachers both wholeheartedly believed DC was well suited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is 7th grade AAP and taking Algebra Honors. MS has been an adjustment in many ways. DC has always excelled in school, especially in math, but is struggling with the Algebra. Being challenged s little bit is good, but it’s manifesting itself in anxiety, stomach upset, and moodiness which is atypical of our normally upbeat child. Is it too soon to switch to 7th honors, or do we stick it out longer? Any similar first hand experiences welcome.

Obviously you know your child better than anyone else, but based on what I see here, you have to stick it out at least a little while longer. The most important determinant of success in life is grit, and that can only be learned through doing things that are hard. It doesn't sound like your child has experienced much of that academically. Give it at least a quarter and make sure they are asking for support from Student Services during the adjustment period, both in terms of the content and in terms of the manifested symptoms - they are well-trained to handle both with children at that age.

Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.

NP - part of parenting the child for the road is teaching them what signs to look out for that the situational demands are more than they can currently manage, i.e., starting to impact their health (mental and physical). It's not healthy to teach kids to grind it out for the sake of grinding it out, not when it comes at the cost of their well-being.

OP, what did your pediatrician say? If your child is experiencing distress to the point of impacting functioning in things like sleep, mood, etc. and they either can't cope or aren't using healthy ways to cope, I'd revisit the decision. People have different capacities for different hard things. Moreover, chronic stress beyond what is manageable *for a child* doesn't tend to lead to positive outcomes, grit or otherwise. Resilience doesn't come from unmanageable situations, but from learning tolerate uncomfortable ones. There's a difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is 7th grade AAP and taking Algebra Honors. MS has been an adjustment in many ways. DC has always excelled in school, especially in math, but is struggling with the Algebra. Being challenged s little bit is good, but it’s manifesting itself in anxiety, stomach upset, and moodiness which is atypical of our normally upbeat child. Is it too soon to switch to 7th honors, or do we stick it out longer? Any similar first hand experiences welcome.

Obviously you know your child better than anyone else, but based on what I see here, you have to stick it out at least a little while longer. The most important determinant of success in life is grit, and that can only be learned through doing things that are hard. It doesn't sound like your child has experienced much of that academically. Give it at least a quarter and make sure they are asking for support from Student Services during the adjustment period, both in terms of the content and in terms of the manifested symptoms - they are well-trained to handle both with children at that age.

Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.

NP - part of parenting the child for the road is teaching them what signs to look out for that the situational demands are more than they can currently manage, i.e., starting to impact their health (mental and physical). It's not healthy to teach kids to grind it out for the sake of grinding it out, not when it comes at the cost of their well-being.

OP, what did your pediatrician say? If your child is experiencing distress to the point of impacting functioning in things like sleep, mood, etc. and they either can't cope or aren't using healthy ways to cope, I'd revisit the decision. People have different capacities for different hard things. Moreover, chronic stress beyond what is manageable *for a child* doesn't tend to lead to positive outcomes, grit or otherwise. Resilience doesn't come from unmanageable situations, but from learning tolerate uncomfortable ones. There's a difference.

PP. All of the above is correct, but it's been a week. Give the kid a chance along with the appropriate amount of support. If the school can't or is unwilling to provide it, then you pull the plug. Give them a chance to show that they can manage a little bit more than they think they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DC is 7th grade AAP and taking Algebra Honors. MS has been an adjustment in many ways. DC has always excelled in school, especially in math, but is struggling with the Algebra. Being challenged s little bit is good, but it’s manifesting itself in anxiety, stomach upset, and moodiness which is atypical of our normally upbeat child. Is it too soon to switch to 7th honors, or do we stick it out longer? Any similar first hand experiences welcome.

Obviously you know your child better than anyone else, but based on what I see here, you have to stick it out at least a little while longer. The most important determinant of success in life is grit, and that can only be learned through doing things that are hard. It doesn't sound like your child has experienced much of that academically. Give it at least a quarter and make sure they are asking for support from Student Services during the adjustment period, both in terms of the content and in terms of the manifested symptoms - they are well-trained to handle both with children at that age.

Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.

NP - part of parenting the child for the road is teaching them what signs to look out for that the situational demands are more than they can currently manage, i.e., starting to impact their health (mental and physical). It's not healthy to teach kids to grind it out for the sake of grinding it out, not when it comes at the cost of their well-being.

OP, what did your pediatrician say? If your child is experiencing distress to the point of impacting functioning in things like sleep, mood, etc. and they either can't cope or aren't using healthy ways to cope, I'd revisit the decision. People have different capacities for different hard things. Moreover, chronic stress beyond what is manageable *for a child* doesn't tend to lead to positive outcomes, grit or otherwise. Resilience doesn't come from unmanageable situations, but from learning tolerate uncomfortable ones. There's a difference.

PP. All of the above is correct, but it's been a week. Give the kid a chance along with the appropriate amount of support. If the school can't or is unwilling to provide it, then you pull the plug. Give them a chance to show that they can manage a little bit more than they think they can.

Sure, that's fine. But see how the kid does - if things don't improve and/or worsen, I wouldn't wait a full quarter. A month, tops. Compromised mental health isn't worth it.