Parents of three, do you feel less bonded to your third?

[Anonymous]

Title says it all.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not. Our third is a very snuggly kid.

I think personality trumps birth order. Our oldest is the most reserved/prickly one.

[Anonymous]

It's the middle child you lose the bond with, if you had it to begin with. The baby is often the favorite, or the one you are most connected to. The middle loses their role.

[Anonymous]

Why are you asking? Do you have two and want three but for some reason can’t have 3 so now you want to feel better? Do you have three and not feel bonded to you third?

In either case I would recommend you get therapy so you can figure out how to parent the kids you have well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the middle child you lose the bond with, if you had it to begin with. The baby is often the favorite, or the one you are most connected to. The middle loses their role.

Maybe for you, but this is a generalization that does not account for ages, temperaments, etc. This question also wrongly presumes that a parent cannot be strongly bonded to three children. OP is a troll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the middle child you lose the bond with, if you had it to begin with. The baby is often the favorite, or the one you are most connected to. The middle loses their role.

As a parent of three, both my middle child and I would agree with this. I wouldn't say we lost the bond, but she rightfully feels like the stereotypical middle child at times.

[Anonymous]

Nope, I’m closest (if I’m forced to choose) to the third.

[Anonymous]

My bond to each is definitely different but of equal (and breathtakingly strong).

[Anonymous]

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the middle child you lose the bond with, if you had it to begin with. The baby is often the favorite, or the one you are most connected to. The middle loses their role.

As a parent of three, both my middle child and I would agree with this. I wouldn't say we lost the bond, but she rightfully feels like the stereotypical middle child at times.

It's incredibly common. It's about family roles and the need for children to have defines roles and a sense of belonging.

The first child is always the oldest and that position can never be threatened. Even when first children experience envy or jealousy of younger siblings, their role as the eldest is assured and it provides a sense of security. If you have 3+ kids, one of the most important things you can do is ensure any middle children have clearly defined roles and that their value to the family is clear. Many parents instinctively overlook middle children without really thinking about it or realizing they are doing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the middle child you lose the bond with, if you had it to begin with. The baby is often the favorite, or the one you are most connected to. The middle loses their role.

Maybe for you, but this is a generalization that does not account for ages, temperaments, etc. This question also wrongly presumes that a parent cannot be strongly bonded to three children. OP is a troll.

It's rare for parents to be equally bonded to all children, especially once you are in the 3+ category. It's ideal, but not that common. Some kids handle it better than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the middle child you lose the bond with, if you had it to begin with. The baby is often the favorite, or the one you are most connected to. The middle loses their role.

Maybe for you, but this is a generalization that does not account for ages, temperaments, etc. This question also wrongly presumes that a parent cannot be strongly bonded to three children. OP is a troll.

It's rare for parents to be equally bonded to all children, especially once you are in the 3+ category. It's ideal, but not that common. Some kids handle it better than others.

DP. Is that based on your personal experience? Or studies or something? I’m thinking about families I know with 3+ kids (my siblings, my friends growing up, extended family, etc) and I think most parents did have strong bonds with all their kids. Of course I grew up UMC with emotionally healthy people. Ymmv.

[Anonymous]

My first two were twins so a bit different than the usual. I worried about this as well when I was expecting my third but found that he too stole my heart from the start and I had worried needlessly. All these birth order dynamics others mention are different when the oldest is actually two children, and there is no middle child so none of that applied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the middle child you lose the bond with, if you had it to begin with. The baby is often the favorite, or the one you are most connected to. The middle loses their role.

Maybe for you, but this is a generalization that does not account for ages, temperaments, etc. This question also wrongly presumes that a parent cannot be strongly bonded to three children. OP is a troll.

+1. I am a middle child and the closest child to my own parents— perhaps due to being the only girl and my personality. My DS is a middle and probably the closest to me.

The generalizations are silly. It hinges 100% on personality

[Anonymous]

Nope. There's a big age gap between 2 and 3, plus 1 and 2 were accidents while 3 was planned. So no.