Where do I begin with this? --> taking in daughter's kicked out friend
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Anonymous
| A few weeks ago, my daughter's friend was kicked out of the house due to being gay. They are 17 and rising HS seniors. There's been a history of tumult in the family, but this was the worst of it. It's pretty clear now, I think, that he's not going to be going back home. He's welcome here for however long he needs, but I want to make sure we're doing this "correctly" and I'm not going to get in trouble with the law or anything. I don't even know where to begin. I've never been in this situation before. |
Anonymous
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I don’t have any advice for you but came to say thank you for opening your home to this child. It is kind and the right thing to do. I’m sure others will have better advice than I do.
Good on you OP. |
Anonymous
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First, you are truly great to support this kid. I hope others with direct experience respond, but maybe some first steps...
If friend goes to same school as your kid, reach out to the guidance counselor. Also, I've heard good things about PFLAG. Good luck! |
Anonymous
| We did this. We didn't worry about kidnapping or legal issues. We did write out house rules for everyone living in the house so things would be straight forward. All the kids really appreciated the structure (even when they violated the rules). |
Anonymous
| I would post this in the LGBTQIA forum https://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/67.page |
Anonymous
+1 My family did this senior year for one of my friends (different reason), and it made all the difference. You are a good human, OP. |
Anonymous
| I would see if it’s possible to help him get emancipated so he can go to college without including his parents’ income on FAFSA. |
Anonymous
Yes, good idea. And will clarify the legality of this. |
Anonymous
| Confirm by speaking directly to the parents that they have in fact licked him out and the reason. |
Anonymous
+2 Although your heart is in the right place, you're teetering on a can of worms since you have no legal guardianship of said minor. There are a lot of what-if scenarios: expenses are the biggest one, school expectations, medical attention (what if kid gets injured/sick/prescription, for example), and discipline (complying with your house rules, but what if he doesn't?). I'd give it a trial run for a few days, but I'd really tread carefully. |
Anonymous
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My parents took in my best friend our senior year of high school. She lived with us the last year. My mother called her parents to let them know where she was, it wasn't a secret. It also wasn't formal, she didn't change her address at school, there were no medical issues that came up, etc.
Her home life was difficult and she couldn't be at home anymore. Living with us, she told me later, was such a relief, such an escape from her family. |
Anonymous
Generally not possible unless he is self-supporting financially. |
Anonymous
Yes, it is possible. That is why PP recommended OP help this child become emancipated. https://studentaid.gov/help-center/answers/article/emancipated-minor |
Anonymous
| We know a couple who adopted their son's football teammate when he was kicked out. |
Anonymous
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What parent would kick out their own baby?!?
I don't get how one can be brought to do this. |