Anxious teen and sleep

[Anonymous]

I’m looking for ideas about helping my DS 16 with sleep.

He has had a rough couple years, including a suicide attempt, an intensive outpatient program, lots of meds and ongoing therapy. He is currently not taking any medication and feels skeptical about their usefulness (he tried a lot of different antidepressants and antianxiety meds and can’t tolerate anything with seratonin). He has been stable and, overall, much healthier for about 6 months. But, he still has a hard time falling asleep and it definitely affects his mood and perception. He uses good “sleep hygiene” like powering down electronics, exercise each day, no caffeine, etc. but says he’s taking hours to fall asleep and only sometimes thinking about stressful things. He will not take melatonin or magnesium or any other homeopathic sleep aides.

Does anyone else have a teen like this? Suggestions??

[Anonymous]

Some nights, I sit outside my teen's bedroom and read quietly. She says it calms her down.

Some nights she falls asleep in my room, then I wake her and move her.

She asked to start going to church, so we do that some weeks.

It's hit or miss, but my husband had the same issues as a teen and resorted to weed and alcohol. I'm willing to try almost anything else.

[Anonymous]

There is a version of CBT for insomnia (CBT-I) that reportedly works really well. I think there is an app and books if he doesn’t want to go to a therapist. My son had terrible insomnia when he was 10-11 and we used many of the CBT-I techniques but never did the formal program.

I hope he gets some relief soon!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some nights, I sit outside my teen's bedroom and read quietly. She says it calms her down.

Some nights she falls asleep in my room, then I wake her and move her.

She asked to start going to church, so we do that some weeks.

It's hit or miss, but my husband had the same issues as a teen and resorted to weed and alcohol. I'm willing to try almost anything else.

I read this quickly and missed that you wake her before moving her—was imagining dragging my giant DS to his bed, lol! I agree about being willing to try anything else beside weed/alcohol.

[Anonymous]

Maybe more exercise, or if the exercise is after 2pm try shifting it earlier? Lavender supplements, meditation, make his room colder, white noise, darkest possible room, minimize time in bed when not sleeping. Also agree with cbt-I. A key to that is not spending time tossing snd turning, so if he’s spending 2.5 hrs lying in bed before sleeping, he should try going to bed 2-2.5 hrs later. (The idea is that once the dreaded insomnia cycle is broken he can have a more normal bedtime so the late bedtime would be temporary. Summer seems like a good time to try!)

[Anonymous]

Sleep specialist may help. If kid isn't open to any doc, therapy, medication or supplementation then see if he may agree to calming sounds on Alexa or to earbuds.

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[Anonymous]

Make sure there is no undue stress of perfect grades or college admissions etc. His health comes first. If not socially happy at school and want to try a new one, let him. Encourage him (no pressure) to join theater, volunteering, pickle ball, music or whatever he finds interesting. That may give him more distractions and new friends.

[Anonymous]

Increased physical activity during the day, get outside during the day, Calm App on the phone. I also listen to Jason Stephenson's meditations.

[Anonymous]

More exercise and limit phone/screen use to 2 hours per day.
I had to do this for both of my teen dd's (1 with depression/anxiety) as they were becoming increasingly withdrawn/anxious, surly, etc.

It is helping. For 1 dd, I even had to take away phone almost completely- docking it on the kitchen counter for text use only. She cried, cursed me, hated me, etc. But It helped tremendously and she became happier and more light hearted and slept better within 2 days.