Is it okay to ask ILs to stay in a hotel?

[Anonymous]

They are coming to town from a few hours away to help us move. I appreciate the help but really don't want to deal with houseguests while we're moving. Is it okay to ask them to stay in a hotel?

[Anonymous]

Yes, I bet they would really appreciate you putting them up in a hotel and it's the least you could do for people who are traveling from out of town to help you move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I bet they would really appreciate you putting them up in a hotel and it's the least you could do for people who are traveling from out of town to help you move.

OP here, I worry they'll be offended that we don't want them in our house but we won't even have a guest room set up and DH is like "well we'll just need to get a bed overnighted to the house so they can stay there" and I really don't want to just buy a cheap bed so they can stay in our house on our first night there.

[Anonymous]

How is this even a question? How awful to travel, help people move, and then have to share the misery of living in a transitional space.

Spring for their hotel since they're paying airfare. I would love to escape to a hotel after a day of helping people move.

[Anonymous]

Do you really need people to travel to help you move? Not from DC but aren’t there guys hanging out near Home Depot looking for work? They’re hella happy with $20/hr and definitely don’t expect a bed.

[Anonymous]

No, and you shouldn't need them to help you move. You're two adults. Act like it - hire movers like normal people. You can't ask people for help but then say "Oh, but you can't stay here" - are they supposed to help you move but also pay for the gas to travel to you AND three meals a day? It shouldn't cost THEM money to help you move. Tell them to come visit you in the new house a week or month after you've moved and just hire movers for half a day.

[Anonymous]

They should wait until you're settled in. As grownups, you and your DH should handle your own move and not require assistance from family. It's just not that big a deal.

[Anonymous]

Definitely get them a hotel room. No logical person would expect to stay with you in the middle of a move. If they are not logical people and would get offended by that, then tell them not to come until you are all settled in. They wouldn’t be helpful during the actual move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, and you shouldn't need them to help you move. You're two adults. Act like it - hire movers like normal people. You can't ask people for help but then say "Oh, but you can't stay here" - are they supposed to help you move but also pay for the gas to travel to you AND three meals a day? It shouldn't cost THEM money to help you move. Tell them to come visit you in the new house a week or month after you've moved and just hire movers for half a day.

OP here. To be clear, we are hiring movers. They would be offended if we told them not to come.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are coming to town from a few hours away to help us move. I appreciate the help but really don't want to deal with houseguests while we're moving. Is it okay to ask them to stay in a hotel?

Sure, I’ll send you the bill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, and you shouldn't need them to help you move. You're two adults. Act like it - hire movers like normal people. You can't ask people for help but then say "Oh, but you can't stay here" - are they supposed to help you move but also pay for the gas to travel to you AND three meals a day? It shouldn't cost THEM money to help you move. Tell them to come visit you in the new house a week or month after you've moved and just hire movers for half a day.

Family helps family. Some families don’t outsource everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, and you shouldn't need them to help you move. You're two adults. Act like it - hire movers like normal people. You can't ask people for help but then say "Oh, but you can't stay here" - are they supposed to help you move but also pay for the gas to travel to you AND three meals a day? It shouldn't cost THEM money to help you move. Tell them to come visit you in the new house a week or month after you've moved and just hire movers for half a day.

OP here. To be clear, we are hiring movers. They would be offended if we told them not to come.

So they aren't actually helping?

That said, if you aren't willing to tell them it's not a good time, then get them a hotel room and tell them that it will be more comfortable for them. If they insist on sleeping at your house anyway, that's rude and it's their problem if they have to sleep on the floor.

[Anonymous]

You have to pay for the hotel room.

[Anonymous]

They are insisting they come? You have movers. I can't even imagine this situation. A week later to help you unpack, that makes more sense. Are they babysitting your, id's during? And why allow anyone to insist unless you want them there. Your H sounds unhealthy enmeshed with his parents. How old are you two?

[Anonymous]

I think it would be kind of mean to expect nice ILs who are coming to help to stay at a house without anything comfortable set up. It was much nicer for them to stay in a hotel. Why is your DH putting his foot down about this? They are his parents. If he feels really strongly about this, then you need to outline what it will mean for him yo “host” then so that you can focus on unpacking.

I also don’t underhand all the grief people are giving you about them coming to help. My parents used to do this as well. I really enjoyed having an extra set of hands when doing things like organizing my kitchen or sending my dad to the hardware store. I think it’s nice that they are coming to help.