Ferber isn't going well

[Anonymous]

We are on night 4 of Ferber and DD doesn't seem to be getting it.

We have a ton of friends who said it works within 3 nights. She cried tonight just as long as she did on night 1. We saw some progress on night 2 and 3 but then throughout the night she still wakes hourly or almost hourly and cries for a few minutes. Will she ever outgrow this?

She takes 32-35 ounces of formula a day. So we know it's not hunger.

She naps 3-4 hours during the day. We try to end the last nap by 5 or 5:30pm during the day 2 hour awake windows and before bed 3 hours but by the time she fell asleep tonight it was close to 4 hours

We read it could be an extinction burst?

Should we change her schedule? She's eating every 3-3.5 hours during the day. Getting plenty of food. And we think naps are okay? Still holding for naps. But so many friends said get her nights down first and then do naps

Please don't tell me not to Ferber or sleep train. She's 6 months, well fed, happy kiddo. Our Dr has given us the okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are on night 4 of Ferber and DD doesn't seem to be getting it.

We have a ton of friends who said it works within 3 nights. She cried tonight just as long as she did on night 1. We saw some progress on night 2 and 3 but then throughout the night she still wakes hourly or almost hourly and cries for a few minutes. Will she ever outgrow this?

She takes 32-35 ounces of formula a day. So we know it's not hunger.

She naps 3-4 hours during the day. We try to end the last nap by 5 or 5:30pm during the day 2 hour awake windows and before bed 3 hours but by the time she fell asleep tonight it was close to 4 hours

We read it could be an extinction burst?

Should we change her schedule? She's eating every 3-3.5 hours during the day. Getting plenty of food. And we think naps are okay? Still holding for naps. But so many friends said get her nights down first and then do naps

Please don't tell me not to Ferber or sleep train. She's 6 months, well fed, happy kiddo. Our Dr has given us the okay.

This is normal! In between each sleep cycle, they are awake or almost awake. She is crying a bit to put herself back to sleep. If it’s only a few minutes, it’s not a problem! If it helps, start a stop watch on your phone because I was really bad at estimating time in the night. Eventually it will get quieter as she gets better at connecting sleep cycles but even if it doesn’t it’s okay, she can cry a bit if that’s how she’s figured out to do it. How many minutes is she crying at bedtime?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are on night 4 of Ferber and DD doesn't seem to be getting it.

We have a ton of friends who said it works within 3 nights. She cried tonight just as long as she did on night 1. We saw some progress on night 2 and 3 but then throughout the night she still wakes hourly or almost hourly and cries for a few minutes. Will she ever outgrow this?

She takes 32-35 ounces of formula a day. So we know it's not hunger.

She naps 3-4 hours during the day. We try to end the last nap by 5 or 5:30pm during the day 2 hour awake windows and before bed 3 hours but by the time she fell asleep tonight it was close to 4 hours

We read it could be an extinction burst?

Should we change her schedule? She's eating every 3-3.5 hours during the day. Getting plenty of food. And we think naps are okay? Still holding for naps. But so many friends said get her nights down first and then do naps

Please don't tell me not to Ferber or sleep train. She's 6 months, well fed, happy kiddo. Our Dr has given us the okay.

This is normal! In between each sleep cycle, they are awake or almost awake. She is crying a bit to put herself back to sleep. If it’s only a few minutes, it’s not a problem! If it helps, start a stop watch on your phone because I was really bad at estimating time in the night. Eventually it will get quieter as she gets better at connecting sleep cycles but even if it doesn’t it’s okay, she can cry a bit if that’s how she’s figured out to do it. How many minutes is she crying at bedtime?

Thanks.

Tonight and night 1 was close to 45 minutes. It was on and off she just kept jolting back awake. She seemed really tired and we kept her up until a 3 hour awake window but now I'm thinking maybe we should do an earlier bedtime tomorrow.

During the night it's 1-2 minutes. Last night she had a few waking that took 5-8 minutes to settle. Tonight just seems like we are going in the wrong direction

I'll admit previously we were using a pacifier and rocking her to sleep and then not letting her fuss when she would wake up. We were going in a picking her up or popping the pacifier back in. So I know it's a lot of change for her. She was also in a snoo and very recently arms out. I know deep down she is making strides it just feels like a lot.

[Anonymous]

Night 2 she only fussed for 10 min at bedtime and then last night it was 1 min but so many 45-60 min cries and then back to sleep

[Anonymous]

Not going to advise on what to do but will just add that ours didn’t respond to sleep training and we eventually quit. Not sure what your baby’s personality is like otherwise, but it often fails with sensitive/spirited/difficult babies. Wish I’d known.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not going to advise on what to do but will just add that ours didn’t respond to sleep training and we eventually quit. Not sure what your baby’s personality is like otherwise, but it often fails with sensitive/spirited/difficult babies. Wish I’d known.

Oh sorry to hear that. How did you know it wasn't working? Sorry if that's a dumb question. How much crying nwas happening without getting better?

[Anonymous]

Okay I’m fairly casual about this and trust me, I know 45 minutes is literal torture when you’re the one experiencing it. But it’s fine! She’s fine. She’s mad, probably, but fine. If you’ve been holding to sleep, isn’t that understandable? I would be mad too. And it sounds like 45 minutes was only the first night?

I really, really think anything under 5 minutes during the night is a non event. They’re supposed to wake up that often, they just learn to go back to sleep faster as they get better at it. And also probably some of the being mad is a factor right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are on night 4 of Ferber and DD doesn't seem to be getting it.

We have a ton of friends who said it works within 3 nights. She cried tonight just as long as she did on night 1. We saw some progress on night 2 and 3 but then throughout the night she still wakes hourly or almost hourly and cries for a few minutes. Will she ever outgrow this?

She takes 32-35 ounces of formula a day. So we know it's not hunger.

She naps 3-4 hours during the day. We try to end the last nap by 5 or 5:30pm during the day 2 hour awake windows and before bed 3 hours but by the time she fell asleep tonight it was close to 4 hours

We read it could be an extinction burst?

Should we change her schedule? She's eating every 3-3.5 hours during the day. Getting plenty of food. And we think naps are okay? Still holding for naps. But so many friends said get her nights down first and then do naps

Please don't tell me not to Ferber or sleep train. She's 6 months, well fed, happy kiddo. Our Dr has given us the okay.

This is normal! In between each sleep cycle, they are awake or almost awake. She is crying a bit to put herself back to sleep. If it’s only a few minutes, it’s not a problem! If it helps, start a stop watch on your phone because I was really bad at estimating time in the night. Eventually it will get quieter as she gets better at connecting sleep cycles but even if it doesn’t it’s okay, she can cry a bit if that’s how she’s figured out to do it. How many minutes is she crying at bedtime?

Thanks.

Tonight and night 1 was close to 45 minutes. It was on and off she just kept jolting back awake. She seemed really tired and we kept her up until a 3 hour awake window but now I'm thinking maybe we should do an earlier bedtime tomorrow.

During the night it's 1-2 minutes. Last night she had a few waking that took 5-8 minutes to settle. Tonight just seems like we are going in the wrong direction

I'll admit previously we were using a pacifier and rocking her to sleep and then not letting her fuss when she would wake up. We were going in a picking her up or popping the pacifier back in. So I know it's a lot of change for her. She was also in a snoo and very recently arms out. I know deep down she is making strides it just feels like a lot.

2 minutes of crying to me is just “I’m awake! Where is my paci? Where are my servants? I am cranky about this change! Oops I am back to sleep the end.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are on night 4 of Ferber and DD doesn't seem to be getting it.

We have a ton of friends who said it works within 3 nights. She cried tonight just as long as she did on night 1. We saw some progress on night 2 and 3 but then throughout the night she still wakes hourly or almost hourly and cries for a few minutes. Will she ever outgrow this?

She takes 32-35 ounces of formula a day. So we know it's not hunger.

She naps 3-4 hours during the day. We try to end the last nap by 5 or 5:30pm during the day 2 hour awake windows and before bed 3 hours but by the time she fell asleep tonight it was close to 4 hours

We read it could be an extinction burst?

Should we change her schedule? She's eating every 3-3.5 hours during the day. Getting plenty of food. And we think naps are okay? Still holding for naps. But so many friends said get her nights down first and then do naps

Please don't tell me not to Ferber or sleep train. She's 6 months, well fed, happy kiddo. Our Dr has given us the okay.

This is normal! In between each sleep cycle, they are awake or almost awake. She is crying a bit to put herself back to sleep. If it’s only a few minutes, it’s not a problem! If it helps, start a stop watch on your phone because I was really bad at estimating time in the night. Eventually it will get quieter as she gets better at connecting sleep cycles but even if it doesn’t it’s okay, she can cry a bit if that’s how she’s figured out to do it. How many minutes is she crying at bedtime?

Thanks.

Tonight and night 1 was close to 45 minutes. It was on and off she just kept jolting back awake. She seemed really tired and we kept her up until a 3 hour awake window but now I'm thinking maybe we should do an earlier bedtime tomorrow.

During the night it's 1-2 minutes. Last night she had a few waking that took 5-8 minutes to settle. Tonight just seems like we are going in the wrong direction

I'll admit previously we were using a pacifier and rocking her to sleep and then not letting her fuss when she would wake up. We were going in a picking her up or popping the pacifier back in. So I know it's a lot of change for her. She was also in a snoo and very recently arms out. I know deep down she is making strides it just feels like a lot.

2 minutes of crying to me is just “I’m awake! Where is my paci? Where are my servants? I am cranky about this change! Oops I am back to sleep the end.”

I mean think about it, wouldn’t it be weird if she didn’t cry about this change at all? Mine is two now but she cries if I don’t get her a napkin fast enough. They don’t hesitate to express themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay I’m fairly casual about this and trust me, I know 45 minutes is literal torture when you’re the one experiencing it. But it’s fine! She’s fine. She’s mad, probably, but fine. If you’ve been holding to sleep, isn’t that understandable? I would be mad too. And it sounds like 45 minutes was only the first night?

I really, really think anything under 5 minutes during the night is a non event. They’re supposed to wake up that often, they just learn to go back to sleep faster as they get better at it. And also probably some of the being mad is a factor right now.

This makes sense. Totally. 45 minutes was tonight and then night 1. She was also just mad in general. I'm really thinking she was overtired going in tonight. Agree. I think I need to be comfortable with the little cries. We have friends who said their kids sleep 7-7 without any peeps. I don't expect that but that's our comparison

[Anonymous]

I am going to tell you what you don't want to hear.
If Ferber isn't working on your kid, don't do it.
Don't punish them, don't punish yourself.
I tried it and regret it. Not all babies can get on a sleep schedule that young. Just give the baby the love it is craving.

[Anonymous]

Do you think our day is okay? Setting her up for success? We tried the TCB schedule recommendation

Feeding 3-3.5 hrs

Lately- up at 6, feeding and then back to sleep until 8:30. We count this as overnight sleep

9pm feeding

10:30-12pm nap

12pm feeding

2-3pm nap

3pm feeding

5-5:30pm nap

5:45pm feeding

8pm feeding

8:30pm bedtime but in reality 8:45 or 9:15 asleep after fussing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am going to tell you what you don't want to hear.
If Ferber isn't working on your kid, don't do it.
Don't punish them, don't punish yourself.
I tried it and regret it. Not all babies can get on a sleep schedule that young. Just give the baby the love it is craving.

She wants to be asleep. We are very against co sleeping. Family members lost their baby that way. So we won't bed share- she would likely sleep all night if we did. During the night she wakes hourly for patting or pacifier replacement or holding. But we both have jobs and can't continue to that. We've done it for 6 months. She wants to be asleep but needs help. She loves a schedule and eats like clockwork.

You don't need to include yourself in every conversation. I'm sorry you regret it. But you can keep scrolling

[Anonymous]

Our first was a stubborn one, too. I think it was a solid week. You’re doing fine, don’t make any big changes. White knuckle it a few more days. You’re doing great.

And ohmygod your life is about to get amazing. You won’t realize just how sleep deprived you are until you start getting a full nights sleep EVERY NIGHT and it’s like being reborn. Sooooo worth a crap week!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not going to advise on what to do but will just add that ours didn’t respond to sleep training and we eventually quit. Not sure what your baby’s personality is like otherwise, but it often fails with sensitive/spirited/difficult babies. Wish I’d known.

I was successful sleep training three babies, no problem. I was not successful with one and now that he is much older he still has his strong, stubborn persistent personality. Sleep training was torture for us and I am sure it was torture for him. I regret it.