Taking custody of my 10 year old nephew

[Anonymous]

Am i insane for doing this if the only alternative is foster care? I know there are going to be challenges with education because he hasn't been to school in 3 years but is there anything else i should be aware of? Any questions i should ask the cps worker? I have zero experience raising children.

[Anonymous]

It's a loving choice to make. Good luck, OP!

[Anonymous]

Do you know your nephew? Meaning, have you had regular contact with him? Any special needs? Health issues? Do you have a spouse? Does the child have behavior problems? Is the father in the picture at all?

[Anonymous]

Take him. No question.

[Anonymous]

You are not insane. My ex is a social worker and based on what I know, I would do everything in my power to keep my niece or nephew from entering the system. You are doing an amazing thing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you know your nephew? Meaning, have you had regular contact with him? Any special needs? Health issues? Do you have a spouse? Does the child have behavior problems? Is the father in the picture at all?

I've only seen a few times and he seemed like a good normal kid with no major health issues, No i don't have a spouse, Neither of his parents can pass a drug test so they won't have any involvement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you know your nephew? Meaning, have you had regular contact with him? Any special needs? Health issues? Do you have a spouse? Does the child have behavior problems? Is the father in the picture at all?

I've only seen a few times and he seemed like a good normal kid with no major health issues, No i don't have a spouse, Neither of his parents can pass a drug test so they won't have any involvement.

Get a therapist for youself and your nephew asap. Your nephew has been through significant trauma with two addicts as parents.

It’s going to be very normal for him to rebel and act out as a test that you will care for him/love him. Make sure the therapists advise on how best to have a relationship with his parents. As messed up as they are, children will always crave a relationship with their parents. Help facilitate supervised visits if the social worker agrees.

If you can afford unpaid FMLA, take the time off this summer to help him adjust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not insane. My ex is a social worker and based on what I know, I would do everything in my power to keep my niece or nephew from entering the system. You are doing an amazing thing!

You are OP. God bless you.

[Anonymous]

Take him

Why wasn’t he in school for three years?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take him

Why wasn’t he in school for three years?

I don't have an answer for that.

[Anonymous]

Family members took in a niece and a nephew at about that age for similar reasons. It was a burden financially but they managed it and the kids did well. Eventually the parents were back in the picture, when the kids were in HS, and that did not go well at all. I hope your nephew's parents stay gone, that's the best thing that could happen.

[Anonymous]

To be clear, you have no other children in the house?

[Anonymous]

I would do it, no question. It would need to be a very extreme circumstance for me to allow a child to go to foster care if I was able to help (but I understand that those extreme circumstances exist).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To be clear, you have no other children in the house?

No.

[Anonymous]

It's going to be hard, but you should do it anyway. If you post what state you are in, I might be able to post resources. One thing to consider is whether he will be in foster care and placed with you, or if he will be placed with you in lieu of going into foster care. The difference matters for how much oversight cps has over you and him, but also what benefits you and he might qualify for (Medicaid, monthly funds, discounts on college tuition, etc.). It will be hard but if it were my niece or nephew I would definitely try it.