S/O You can be canceled even if you aren’t a bigot, it happened to me

[Anonymous]

I was reading the thread about the teen who had been “cancelled” and all the responses stating that maybe the teen deserved it because if they were cancelled, they must have done something racist, misogynist, committed and act of harassment, etc.

I just want to let people know that I was cancelled at a job and by a friend group and I never did any of that. A small group of people who dislike me took something I said out of context and claimed that it was racist. Anyone who has actually learned of the context for what I said has concluded it wasn’t racist, but it didn’t matter because there were people determined to convince others it was racist, and most people have no interest in learning the context.

I tried to defend myself but it was like a brick wall— once people had heard the rumor that I was a bigot, they would not listen to anything I said. I also quickly learned that they would take anything new I said out of context. If I said “this feels unfair,” people would gossip that I believed I was a victim of reverse racism. People constantly put words in my mouth.

It was a very difficult thing to go through and made me suicidal for a time. Just posting this thread, I will need to text my therapist after to give her a heads up that I’m discussing this on here and will need to debrief about it.

I’m not racist, nothing I said could be considered racist, sexist, anti-trans, anything, if you actually knew what was said. But a couple people who wanted me out of the way for their own reasons heard me say something that could be taken out of context and they seized on it.

I believe people who do and say harmful things should face consequences for it, including legal and professional consequences as necessary to protect people who they have or will harm. But I wasn’t fired or sued (no cause fir those things because I didn’t do anything wrong). I quit and closed my social media and started over elsewhere because I was so thoroughly ostracized in my old life that I felt I had no choice.

Cancelling people is cruel and unproductive.

[Anonymous]

You can’t force anyone to like you or be friends with you.

[Anonymous]

We’ll be the judge of that. What did you say?

[Anonymous]

“Victim of reverse racism”? Hmm…

[Anonymous]

What did you say with and without the context?

Lots of racists don't think they are racist. My husband works with a woman that is blatantly racist at work (they work in international affairs so her racism comes out fairly often with work discussions.) Same woman also claimed a male coworker was sexually harassing her when he called her out on her sh&t. Thankfully he documented her before she countered her claim. No one else will report her as a result.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry that happened to you. And I’m not surprised. We’re primed by social media to feel outraged regularly. And now it’s spilled over to real life.

[Anonymous]

There will always be stories about you that are not true. You can’t collect all the false information and try to right it. You need to have the self-confidence to not care what people think about you.

[Anonymous]

OP, thank you for posting. For your own sanity, please don’t provide any additional information.

[Anonymous]

OP I think what happened to you is that everyone already didn’t like you, for whatever reason. People who are liked and respected don’t get “canceled” for one mistake or ill-considered comment. If these were your colleagues, there was already a problem.

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry. The mob mentality today is very evil. Signs of the times. The Bible says come ye out from among them, and be ye separate. It says in the final days there will be a remnant seeds worth of people who will go to heaven. In other words, the majority of society will be left behind because they are bad.

[Anonymous]

A small group of people who dislike me took something I said out of context and claimed that it was racist.

You’re going to have to tell us what really happened here for this thread to function properly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, thank you for posting. For your own sanity, please don’t provide any additional information.

+1
I believe you, OP. Don't post any more about the situation.

[Anonymous]

There have always been gossips and social bullies, and there always will be. If someone wants to hurt you by spreading rumors, then will. People believe whatever they hear. That's why gossip is considered bad by most decent people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sorry. The mob mentality today is very evil. Signs of the times. The Bible says come ye out from among them, and be ye separate. It says in the final days there will be a remnant seeds worth of people who will go to heaven. In other words, the majority of society will be left behind because they are bad.

I DGAF what the Bible says.

[Anonymous]

OP here— no way I will share details here, it would identify me.

You can believe me or not. It happened. People will use sensitivity on these issues to make something sound racist that isn’t. They know lots of people are eager to pick up torches.

For what it’s worth, my therapist, who knows everything and has even seen all the emails and texts about this event, is a member of the group I supposedly spoke against and she is fairly horrified that a bunch of white people used what I said in the way they did. No oppressed minority group was aided by my cancellation, it didn’t make anything safer, more equal, or more tolerant. The opposite, the handful of people who know the truth now know they must be extra careful about what they say and do because even benign comments can be twisted against you if you get on the bad side of the wrong people.