MIL’s will has left kids fighting
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Anonymous
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My DH comes from a pretty dysfunctional family. MIL has been sick for past 2 years and had refused to share her will/ intentions to get things in order before passing. After a final 6 months with multiple hospital stays/ ambulance transport etc she has passed away. I thought the siblings could reconnect and possibly start fresh. But the will/ estate is causing lots of drama.
I have been fortunate that in my family we haven’t really had issues like this, everyone who has passed has been proactive and clear about their intentions. I now realize how lucky we’ve been. Can someone help me with how this should play out with regard to assets/ probate etc? Location: Hampton SC - no they aren’t Murdaugh’s but the probate clerk is Assets: -Primary residence house/ land in city -5 acres family rural land deeded, not subdivided -Car with unknown loan balance -20k life insurance policy- unknown beneficiaries -unknown retirement accounts- unknown beneficiaries -joint checking account with DD1 Debts: -Funeral costs -Medical care- unknown amounts -Credit card debt -possible loans against retirement account- status uncertain Heirs: DD1- has been living with MIL for 10 years, primary caregiver last 2 years, executor DS1- lives far away has minimal contact , only interested in family land DD2- lives locally, helped with some care DS2- lives locally, MIL has been paying his child support 2 oldest grandchildren (out of 7) Will details: it is a very oddly written document. It says that her debts are to be paid and then she leaves the following: -DD1 gets house/ land in city where she has been living -DS1, DD2, DS2 get family land -2 grandchildren get car (1 grandchild is 30 and has car, 1 is 16 and just got license) DD1 is executor, but I think she is confused about how this is a supposed to work. She was originally going to hire a private lawyer but decided that was too expensive. So now they are all fighting about what is supposed to happen. Executor thinks that she has to pay off all of MILs credit adds since that was mentioned in the will. Other siblings think she should open probate and only pay debts not discharged by death. That will require paperwork to figure out medical costs/ insurance reimbursement. The worry is that there may be more debt than liquid assets. Executor has suggested that she can just sell car and family land to settle debts. So how does the estate determine how to pay debts? And how do people split a car? Do they need to sell it and split cash between grandkids? I had always thought that life insurance and retirement accounts went directly to the designated beneficiaries, but executor is saying that those would be used to pay debts first before disbursement. I am not sure where she is getting these ideas. My DH thinks she is making it all up to avoid having to sell the house she is living in. I thinks she is likely just grieving and trying to fulfill her mom’s wishes. I am worried about grandchild whose child support she has been paying. I don’t know what that mom is going to do without the money. Is it possible MIL is on the child support order somehow? Is there a simple guide to this process somewhere? I keep googling and keep getting referrals to SC private lawyers. |
Anonymous
| Did your spouse ask you to figure this out? If not, mind your own business. |
Anonymous
| Why are only two grandchildren listed in the will? Were the other 5 not born yet when she wrote it? |
Anonymous
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Life insurance belongs to the beneficiary, not the estate. It should not be used to pay for estate debts.
Same with retirement accounts with a designated beneficiary. That money goes to the named beneficiary. It does not get used to pay debts. https://www.thebalancemoney.com/does-an-ira-or-401-k-be-used-to-pay-a-decedent-s-bills-3505413#toc-the-surviving-designated-beneficiary |
Anonymous
| The debts will have to be paid off by the estate, including the credit cards. How long ago did she pass away? Those medical bills can take months to finish rolling in. |
Anonymous
| Except the car that sounds reasonable to give the house to the kid who took care of her. |
Anonymous
| They may have nothing to fight over. The debts are paid first and the rest goes according to will. |
Anonymous
| It sounds like the executor is going to need to speak with an attorney, even if she doesn't have the attorney handle the estate. She still needs advice. Before she does, she should gather all her information so she knows answers to things like the beneficiaries of the life insurance and the amount due on the car. That way she can use the attorney time efficiently to save money. |
Anonymous
| The estate can pay for the attorney if there is enough money. You need an attorney. |
Anonymous
| They *obviously* need a lawyer. And it is reasonable to want to process the estate in a way that lets the caretaker keep the house. |
Anonymous
| Omfg. Only 20 thousand people live in Hampton County!! This post is so identifiable. You need to ask Jeff to delete this. |
Anonymous
| My MILs family is also highly dysfunctional. When her mom passed away the smartest thing she did was walk away from all the will stuff. Her reasoning was that whatever money she wound up with wasn't worth the headache of dealing with getting it. And her siblings fought with each other for a long time over it. And let's be real her, your DH is a scumbag either way. Either he has minimal contact and wants her property or he had mommy paying his child support. Either way, how embarrassing |
Anonymous
I mean, look at the two options she has for a DH. She's probably a greedy slimeball too. |
Anonymous
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So your DH “only has interest in family land”? The estate is gonna sell it. Does he want to buy out his siblings? If not he’s just going to get a check.
Everything else seems like nonsense squabbling. There’s probably very little or nothing left over after the debts are paid. |
Anonymous
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1. The family needs an attorney, who will be paid with the proceeds of the inheritance. Make sure he or she is honest. 2. The attorney will calculate how much debt there is, and whether it can be paid off with land sale or house sale or both. This is an important consideration given they are willed to different people! It's likely that both will have to be sold to make things fair, in which case DD1 will have to live elsewhere. 3. There will be no child support. That family has to apply for government assistance. 4. Gird yourself up for conflict. My family had 25 years of court battles over my grandfather's will, and it split the family permanently, I'm sorry to say. |