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[quote=Anonymous]My DH comes from a pretty dysfunctional family. MIL has been sick for past 2 years and had refused to share her will/ intentions to get things in order before passing.  After a final 6 months with multiple hospital stays/ ambulance transport etc she has passed away.  I thought the siblings could reconnect and possibly start fresh. But the will/ estate is causing lots of drama.

I have been fortunate that in my family we haven’t really had issues like this, everyone who has passed has been proactive and clear about their intentions.  I now realize how lucky we’ve been.

Can someone help me with how this should play out with regard to assets/ probate etc?

Location: Hampton SC - no they aren’t Murdaugh’s but the probate clerk is

Assets:
-Primary residence house/ land in city
-5 acres family rural land deeded, not subdivided
-Car with unknown loan balance
-20k life insurance policy- unknown beneficiaries 
-unknown retirement accounts- unknown beneficiaries
-joint checking account with DD1

Debts:
-Funeral costs
-Medical care- unknown amounts
-Credit card debt
-possible loans against retirement account- status uncertain

Heirs:
DD1- has been living with MIL for 10 years, primary caregiver last 2 years, executor
DS1- lives far away has minimal contact , only interested in family land
DD2- lives locally, helped with some care
DS2- lives locally, MIL has been paying his child support
2 oldest grandchildren (out of 7)

Will details:
it is a very oddly written document. It says that her debts are to be paid and then she leaves the following:
-DD1 gets house/ land in city where she has been living
-DS1, DD2, DS2 get family land
-2 grandchildren get car (1 grandchild is 30 and has car, 1 is 16 and just got license)

DD1 is executor, but I think she is confused about how this is a supposed to work. She was originally going to hire a private lawyer but decided that was too expensive. So now they are all fighting about what is supposed to happen.

Executor thinks that she has to pay off all of MILs credit  adds since that was mentioned in the will.  Other siblings think she should open probate and only pay debts not discharged by death.  That will require paperwork to figure out medical costs/ insurance reimbursement.  The worry is that there may be more debt than liquid assets. Executor has suggested that she can just sell car and family land to settle debts.

So how does the estate determine how to pay debts?

And how do people split a car? Do they need to sell it and split cash between grandkids?

I had always thought that life insurance and retirement accounts went directly to the designated beneficiaries, but executor is saying that those would be used to pay debts first before disbursement.  I am not sure where she is getting these ideas.  My DH thinks she is making it all up to avoid having to sell the house she is living in. I thinks she is likely just grieving and trying to fulfill her mom’s wishes.

I am worried about grandchild whose child support she has been paying. I don’t know what that mom is going to do without the money. Is it possible MIL is on the child support order somehow?

Is there a simple guide to this process somewhere? I keep googling and keep getting referrals to SC private lawyers.

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