What’s a parenting choice you just cannot understand

[Anonymous]

Anything even adjacent to abuse aside (spanking / corporal punishment, raging at sporting events etc) what’s one fairly common parenting choice you just don’t understand why “good” parents would do. No need to argue on this thread, im sure we will all be the “judged” - I slept trained, used a night nanny, only breast fed for a couple months..I’m sure those will all be on other peoples lists!

Mine is not prioritizing getting their baby / young child enough sleep. The research is so clear how important it is, just let the poor baby get some restful sleep on their schedule!

[Anonymous]

I cannot understand why parents don't supervise their kids when they are younger and completely check out by middle school.

[Anonymous]

Also * on all of these of “if you can”. For my example I completely understand some people have to get up their baby at 5am to go to daycare to pay the bills. This is for entirely optional things

[Anonymous]

I did not sleep train my kid because I believed that I had to follow their schedule. I did not believe in training them on my schedule so that I have an easier time. I breastfed my kids for couple of years and EBF for the first 9 months. I judge people who go for formula without trying to BF first. I cannot believe that parents don't teach their kids at home and are checked out.

Actually, I do not understand most of the parenting choices around me. Keeping a gun in the house, letting kids misbehave in school, letting kids vape or have sex in K-12. Not paying for their college, not letting them stay at home rentfree when they start working, having pitbulls as pets. Having more than 2 kids.

[Anonymous]

Having kids when you have a shitty marriage.

[Anonymous]

Living through their kids and not letting them choose their own path, interests, etc.

[Anonymous]

Basing some of this off my family back home:

Indoor cigarette smoking in the family home
Piercings on babies
Feeding babies/toddlers soda

[Anonymous]

Constantly giving commands. Kids check out and more commands are needed to get them to to what the parent tells them to do. It's exhausting to watch and listen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not sleep train my kid because I believed that I had to follow their schedule. I did not believe in training them on my schedule so that I have an easier time. I breastfed my kids for couple of years and EBF for the first 9 months. I judge people who go for formula without trying to BF first. I cannot believe that parents don't teach their kids at home and are checked out.

Actually, I do not understand most of the parenting choices around me. Keeping a gun in the house, letting kids misbehave in school, letting kids vape or have sex in K-12. Not paying for their college, not letting them stay at home rentfree when they start working, having pitbulls as pets. Having more than 2 kids.

We take our teens hunting. Judge away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not sleep train my kid because I believed that I had to follow their schedule. I did not believe in training them on my schedule so that I have an easier time. I breastfed my kids for couple of years and EBF for the first 9 months. I judge people who go for formula without trying to BF first. I cannot believe that parents don't teach their kids at home and are checked out.

Actually, I do not understand most of the parenting choices around me. Keeping a gun in the house, letting kids misbehave in school, letting kids vape or have sex in K-12. Not paying for their college, not letting them stay at home rentfree when they start working, having pitbulls as pets. Having more than 2 kids.

You realize not all parents can breastfeed. And, the reality is it doesn't make your kids any better or healthier in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Constantly giving commands. Kids check out and more commands are needed to get them to to what the parent tells them to do. It's exhausting to watch and listen.

So, what do you do when your child refuses to do something or doesn't?

[Anonymous]

Having more than 2 children.

I'm a middle child and can say that there is not enough emotional love and support to go around. Why do this?

[Anonymous]

I have empathy for people who do this but: having more than two kids and then being overwhelmed by it.

Not talking about the many people who have 3 or more kids and love it -- good for them. And anyone with multiples, I get that's not really a choice they made.

But I've encountered people who had 3 kids on purpose and then complain constantly about how much work it is, how they are running out of space in their house, how vacations are hard, how the life phases of their kids line up in horrible ways, how much college will cost, etc. I'm like... how is this a surprise?

[Anonymous]

I understand that everyone has their own personality and that this informs their parenting style. This is why we have a hands-off to hands-on parenting spectrum. And it's usually fine.

But it does hurt me when I see my best friend, one who is usually so careful and painstaking, entirely misinterpret her child. I have training and knowledge in this area, and I looked after her child every summer for years (as well as school breaks during the year), and I saw she needed an evaluation for dyslexia and inattentive ADHD. Her teachers mentioned attention issues repeatedly. Yet despite my pleadings and their hints, this has never been pursued. Her child has been homeschooled due to "unhappiness" in school, and now has a lightened high school workload due to "anxiety" (duh, she can't read well and can't focus, of course she's anxious). I am convinced that things could have been vastly different had she had an evaluation in elementary like I suggested.

Since this is my best friend, and I love her child like my own daughter, the whole situation kills me. I try not to think about it too often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Constantly giving commands. Kids check out and more commands are needed to get them to to what the parent tells them to do. It's exhausting to watch and listen.

So, what do you do when your child refuses to do something or doesn't?

Count to 3 calmly and parent by consequences. Example is my 6 yo wanted to walk in the street today despite being told multiple times is not safe. After about 3 warnings I said "ok, when I get to 3 you lose your screen time for the rest of the day". Normally the threat is enough, but today is wasn't, so she lost the iPad. Now we're probably good on the 1-2-3 method for a couple months. It will work like a charm, and I will have to implement consequences again when they forget that I'm strict.