How can I support my husband in his weight loss?

[Anonymous]

He’s 37 and has struggled with his weight since he was a kid.

When we met about 10 years ago, he was around 210 lbs at 5’8”. Then he went on a big exercise/diet push and got down to about 145 lbs. He managed to stay in the 140s/150s until our daughter was born in 2016, so for about 3 years. Then he put all the weight back on. He’s gone between about 185 and 210. He is just starting another push to lose weight.

I honestly don’t see him snacking too much. We both work from home and my workspace is right near the kitchen, so I’d definitely see it. He eats pretty well. For example, today for lunch he had 2 scrambled eggs with some lox. He gave up diet soda and is drinking tea with Splenda.

He is a good runner and that’s how he likes to exercise. He ran 3.5 miles in his workout last night.

What can I do to support him? If I ask, he won’t really say, but I want to be able to help. I’m at a normal weight, so I can’t share in the weight loss journey itself.

[Anonymous]

If he wants to exercise, you never say no. Don't eat or buy him trigger foods. My husband likes to buy me cookies and I throw them out.

[Anonymous]

Buy and eat healthy foods with him. Be supportive when he goes out to work out.

Don't keep a tab on what he is eating. I know you might think that's helping but it is not.

[Anonymous]

He may binge eat in secret=no way to be 210 with eating normal amounts of food at 5 8=so emotional eater...he needs to learn to manage stress better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He may binge eat in secret=no way to be 210 with eating normal amounts of food at 5 8=so emotional eater...he needs to learn to manage stress better.

How the hell do you know. Hormones are big factor. Especially if he holds his weight in his midsection.

You're very supportive OP. Agree walk with him or get him moving of he wants but any diet strides are great

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He may binge eat in secret=no way to be 210 with eating normal amounts of food at 5 8=so emotional eater...he needs to learn to manage stress better.

How the hell do you know. Hormones are big factor. Especially if he holds his weight in his midsection.

You're very supportive OP. Agree walk with him or get him moving of he wants but any diet strides are great

He does absolutely hold his weight in his midsection. I have never seen him be able to stay at a normal weight without exercising intensely 5-6 times a week, whereas I can do so without exercising much. We eat essentially the same diet. Some people just have bodies that work against them.

Thank you for the advice everyone!

[Anonymous]

cook healthy dinners

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He may binge eat in secret=no way to be 210 with eating normal amounts of food at 5 8=so emotional eater...he needs to learn to manage stress better.

I have the same BMI. I am skinny fat; all my weight is in my belly and torso — legs and arms are quite trim.

No binge eating or snacking during the day. I think I eat too much especially at dinner time when we have my healthy meals and the kids unhealthy meals “left overs” and I might eat some while I’m cooking or putting away.

Definitely snack too much on nuts and fruit, which are my in office supply but otherwise I get crazy hungry.

I have never drank soda or alcohol regularly, I’ve always eaten “healthy” foods but clearly too much.

No bingeing, but if I’m up late for work or something I might get hungry and eat a bunch of popcorn or eggs salad which is very filling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He may binge eat in secret=no way to be 210 with eating normal amounts of food at 5 8=so emotional eater...he needs to learn to manage stress better.

I have the same BMI. I am skinny fat; all my weight is in my belly and torso — legs and arms are quite trim.

No binge eating or snacking during the day. I think I eat too much especially at dinner time when we have my healthy meals and the kids unhealthy meals “left overs” and I might eat some while I’m cooking or putting away.

Definitely snack too much on nuts and fruit, which are my in office supply but otherwise I get crazy hungry.

I have never drank soda or alcohol regularly, I’ve always eaten “healthy” foods but clearly too much.

No bingeing, but if I’m up late for work or something I might get hungry and eat a bunch of popcorn or eggs salad which is very filling.

I mean no snacking when working at home — I can make a proper lunch and don’t snack — work has no kitchen or cafe post pandemic so all I can eat are snacks.

[Anonymous]

Walk or hike with him. Buy healthy food and don't keep food that he can't control himself around in the house. Don't talk about his weight unless he brings it up. But feel free to tell him he looks good or you like that outfit on him and how attracted to him you are (and show your attraction!).

[Anonymous]

You honestly have no idea how he put on such a huge amount of weight? He is either secretly eating high calorie foods or high calorie alcohol, or both.

I think you can help him by taking him to a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s 37 and has struggled with his weight since he was a kid.

When we met about 10 years ago, he was around 210 lbs at 5’8”. Then he went on a big exercise/diet push and got down to about 145 lbs. He managed to stay in the 140s/150s until our daughter was born in 2016, so for about 3 years. Then he put all the weight back on. He’s gone between about 185 and 210. He is just starting another push to lose weight.

I honestly don’t see him snacking too much. We both work from home and my workspace is right near the kitchen, so I’d definitely see it. He eats pretty well. For example, today for lunch he had 2 scrambled eggs with some lox. He gave up diet soda and is drinking tea with Splenda.

He is a good runner and that’s how he likes to exercise. He ran 3.5 miles in his workout last night.

What can I do to support him? If I ask, he won’t really say, but I want to be able to help. I’m at a normal weight, so I can’t share in the weight loss journey itself.

The fact that you see him eating well and can't understand how is eats well and gains/struggles to lose weight suggests that he is consuming calories in private.

This is very common with binge eating disorder and those who have a poor relationship with food.

[Anonymous]

What's his alcohol intake?

[Anonymous]

Don't plan activities that revolve around food.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He may binge eat in secret=no way to be 210 with eating normal amounts of food at 5 8=so emotional eater...he needs to learn to manage stress better.

How the hell do you know. Hormones are big factor. Especially if he holds his weight in his midsection.

You're very supportive OP. Agree walk with him or get him moving of he wants but any diet strides are great

He does absolutely hold his weight in his midsection. I have never seen him be able to stay at a normal weight without exercising intensely 5-6 times a week, whereas I can do so without exercising much. We eat essentially the same diet. Some people just have bodies that work against them.

Thank you for the advice everyone!

People have different appetites and a lot of people have a poor relationship with food and issues with emotional eating. People who stay thin tend to have good hunger cues and are overall better at intuitive eating. Can hormones plays a role, absolutely, but that tend to be the exception more than the norm. Still worth getting hormones level checked by an endocrinologist.