Should one notorious girl in a grade deter us from applying there?

[Anonymous]

A school that DD is very interested in (for HS) has a student who is notorious in soccer and social circles for being a complete bully. To the point that friends of DD are considering avoiding applying to a school where the bully attends based on avoiding this girl. We've heard horror stories about her as well, and DD would wind up playing school soccer with her at least if she were to attend.

Would you avoid a school based on one horrible kid?

[Anonymous]

Yes if it’s a small school. Does your DD play soccer?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes if it’s a small school. Does your DD play soccer?

yes. The school isn't that small - but is all girls.

[Anonymous]

Yes. This is why I dislike small school dynamics. We're moving from a big public to small private for HS and I've been told that every class has a different feel depending on who is in it. One of DD's bullies from public moved to a small catholic girls school. It's not one of the places we applied to but if it were I would definitely have crossed it off the list because there are so many other great options.

[Anonymous]

Yes

[Anonymous]

I might talk to the Admissions or HOS even about your concerns. Either they still accept your DD or they don’t. But you’ve been upfront with the administration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I might talk to the Admissions or HOS even about your concerns. Either they still accept your DD or they don’t. But you’ve been upfront with the administration.

+1 I don't think it would deter me from applying but it might deter me from enrolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I might talk to the Admissions or HOS even about your concerns. Either they still accept your DD or they don’t. But you’ve been upfront with the administration.

OP - do NOT do this. It’s crazy. PP that suggested this - What do you think admissions and HOS are going to do in response to a conversation like this? The only thing that will be accomplished is that there will be a red flag by OP’s name; no HOS wants someone bringing drama to their school. Complaining before you are even admitted? Oh DCUM, don’t ever change!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I might talk to the Admissions or HOS even about your concerns. Either they still accept your DD or they don’t. But you’ve been upfront with the administration.

+1 I don't think it would deter me from applying but it might deter me from enrolling.

But what's the point of that then? Put yourself through the process knowing you won't go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: Yes. This is why I dislike small school dynamics. We're moving from a big public to small private for HS and I've been told that every class has a different feel depending on who is in it. One of DD's bullies from public moved to a small catholic girls school. It's not one of the places we applied to but if it were I would definitely have crossed it off the list because there are so many other great options.

OP here. This is a good sized all girls school (catholic) but this one kid's name pops up in conversation after conversation - and we're not even Catholic! Who knew a 7th grader could wield such power.

[Anonymous]

It would deter me. Not necessarily out of fear for the specific child, but because any school culture that produces a "notorious girl" about whom kids and other families hear despite not even currently attending the school is not for us.

[Anonymous]

I would not apply. I did not apply my k age son to a very popular school because there was a child in his preschool class that bullied him relentlessly (per the teachers, they wanted us to change classes). Bully’s sister went to the popular school and I knew the bully was applying - my rationale was that they were there first so that family had the credibility, and I didn’t want to subject my son to that child again because there are lots of schools where he could flourish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: Yes. This is why I dislike small school dynamics. We're moving from a big public to small private for HS and I've been told that every class has a different feel depending on who is in it. One of DD's bullies from public moved to a small catholic girls school. It's not one of the places we applied to but if it were I would definitely have crossed it off the list because there are so many other great options.

OP here. This is a good sized all girls school (catholic) but this one kid's name pops up in conversation after conversation - and we're not even Catholic! Who knew a 7th grader could wield such power.

I guess it depends on how "good sized" it is. Most catholic schools I know of aren't that big. Or at least they are dwarfed in comparison to the social scene you get at a public school. And yeah, a couple of bad eggs can really change the dynamics! It sounds like your kid would be in soccer with her, so I would avoid! Although maybe if she goes in with lots of friends and they can all ignore this girl they will be fine, but it is tough to ignore some kids.

[Anonymous]

I'd apply anyway. You never know if you'll get in, and you also don't know if that other family may have a change of circumstance. Who knows? Maybe the bully is applying out and will end up where you thought was a "safe" option next year. Totally almost happened to us. My kid's bully ended up applying to the school my kid ended up at. They didn't end up coming there in the end, and it would have made things awkward, to say the least, but it worked out.

[Anonymous]

Your child is in 7th now? A lot can change. Many of the immature tormenters we knew in 7th are much nicer in 8th.