Am I being unfaithful? Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

First off, I will NEVER cheat on my DH. I love him very much and will never hurt him like that. I am also very royal to begin with.

I don’t know what is wrong with me, like I said, I love my husband very much, we’ve been together for over 15 years with 2 kids. Of course, no marriage is perfect, we fight sometimes, but we always make up, no love is lost.

But a few months ago at a function at DD’s school, I met this other dad, he is not even my typical type, not particularly handsome or athletic looking. I don’t know how to describe it, when I saw him for the first time, and his eyes met mine, I had this strange feeling that he meant something for me. We had a brief conversation, I really liked his demeanor, he just made me feel very comfortable (again, I don’t know how to describe it). I felt that he liked me, not sexually or anything like that. We were both almost shy with each other, I almost couldn’t look into his eyes, and he avoided eye contact several times too. My heart was racing a little too. We talked again when the event was ending, very brief, nothing weird, but we were a bit like two shy teenagers. This is not normal for me, I am not shy with other dads, not like that.

Nothing happened after that. We saw each other at DD’s school again one time, again I was shy, and I sensed he was too, we were happy to see each other but we couldn’t talk too much.

Nothing happened after that either. I know I will never seek him out or anything remotely like that. I think of him sometimes, nothing in a sexual manner, but more like wondering what he thinks of me. It’s so stupid.

I’ve been bothered by this because a few nights ago he was in my dream. In that dream, we were next to each other, DH was talking with someone, his wife was also talking to someone. We didn’t say anything to each other but felt like we were saying so much. I looked away from him, and he quietly grabbed my hand and held it, I didn’t move at all and a sense of dread filled the room. That’s when I woke up and I was happy it was just a dream.

This dream has been bothering me for days. I feel so stupid, and a little bit unfaithful to DH. I know I didn’t do anything, but I have been liking another man, a married man, a man I only spoke to 2 times.

I don’t know why I am sharing this here, I suppose I just want it off my chest. And maybe wanting some validation that I am NOT cheating on DH, and maybe this is normal and I’ll be ok.

[Anonymous]

Jimmy Carter thinks you're the worst

[Anonymous]

I can’t say if it’s normal or ok but it’s not cheating. I think many people have fantasized about others.

[Anonymous]

You met a new, fast friend. That's normal. You're letting the fact that he's a man confuse things. Don't.

And, no, you're not cheating.

[Anonymous]

I have had a similar experience (feeling the beginnings of having a crush on someone who was in a relationship and then dreaming about them). It freaked me out a bit, too, OP. I pretty much made a point to avoid that person in future and sort of redirect any conscious thoughts about them, but I refuse to feel guilty about my dreams. I can't control those. FWIW, I didn't dream about them again, and we moved a year later and now I just think of them as someone nice I used to know and honestly can't see the attraction any more. Like they weren't even that attractive!

[Anonymous]

I'm going to get wildly flamed and derided for this, OP, but...

I've always thought that some people you meet are important and familiar because you knew them in other lives. Your energy comingled. Remember, energy never dies, it just moves on to new forms. So all of us carry the energy of those who died before us. The fact that you don't have an overwhelming sexual attraction to this man could mean he carries the energy of a brother or father in a past life. He was important and familiar then, so he feels important and familiar now.

You don't have to turn it into something sexual/romantic. Maybe he has appeared in your life for an entirely different reason.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes we need to be reminded that we’re still alive. Thank the universe for that reminder.

[Anonymous]

He might be your soulmate.

[Anonymous]

I’ve met two people like that in my life OP and I have to agree that it means something but that something doesn’t have to be romantic. The second one I met was already married and we have all been close friends for over a decade now.

[Anonymous]

You need to get laid.

Also attraction is normal. Fantasizing is normal too.

What crossed into problem territory is when you project meaning onto these feelings of attraction ie " sense of he meant something". " He felt shy too". That's projecting. Reality is you found a man who is not your husband. No big deal. Reality is also you have no idea what he is thinking or feeling.

The other issue is claiming you would never cheat. Yes I'm sure 99 %of people don't plan on it. But stuff happens especially when your guard is down and you foolishly think I'd never. How you guard against it is by staying in reality. He's cute and nice okay moving on. Not creating stories of how he's going to mean something to me or trying to be his friend.

[Anonymous]

I've had erotic dreams about random ppl over the years. There's no rhyme or reason to them.

Most recently, I had a dream where I met someone, connected with him instantly, then we started to dance and I felt the exact moment when I fell in love with him. It was such a nice, elated feeling. I woke up wistful. It's a reminder of when we were young.

I wouldn't think too much of it.

[Anonymous]

You are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had a similar experience (feeling the beginnings of having a crush on someone who was in a relationship and then dreaming about them). It freaked me out a bit, too, OP. I pretty much made a point to avoid that person in future and sort of redirect any conscious thoughts about them, but I refuse to feel guilty about my dreams. I can't control those. FWIW, I didn't dream about them again, and we moved a year later and now I just think of them as someone nice I used to know and honestly can't see the attraction any more. Like they weren't even that attractive!

Agree. Past lives and all that. Even if it isn’t (though no one can prove it isn’t)— energy, matter, a universe that is wholly unknown is bound to get entangled. I don’t believe it’s lights out in the end. The only relatable experience I’ve had, OP, was also a school thing. I was waiting in line for the math teacher at a middle school parent/teacher conference. He was waiting in the line next to me for a science teacher. We looked over at each other and smiled. Pure energy. I knew he felt the same thing. Was very weird because we didn’t talk or introduce ourselves. Just glanced much longer than normal. The long glance wasn’t because we thought we recognized one another. That was the weird part, it was a familiar energy. This was years ago, and I still remember what he was wearing. He wasn’t particularly tall or handsome. He was wearing a long overcoat which was ill fitting lol. Never ran into him again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had a similar experience (feeling the beginnings of having a crush on someone who was in a relationship and then dreaming about them). It freaked me out a bit, too, OP. I pretty much made a point to avoid that person in future and sort of redirect any conscious thoughts about them, but I refuse to feel guilty about my dreams. I can't control those. FWIW, I didn't dream about them again, and we moved a year later and now I just think of them as someone nice I used to know and honestly can't see the attraction any more. Like they weren't even that attractive!

Agree. Past lives and all that. Even if it isn’t (though no one can prove it isn’t)— energy, matter, a universe that is wholly unknown is bound to get entangled. I don’t believe it’s lights out in the end. The only relatable experience I’ve had, OP, was also a school thing. I was waiting in line for the math teacher at a middle school parent/teacher conference. He was waiting in the line next to me for a science teacher. We looked over at each other and smiled. Pure energy. I knew he felt the same thing. Was very weird because we didn’t talk or introduce ourselves. Just glanced much longer than normal. The long glance wasn’t because we thought we recognized one another. That was the weird part, it was a familiar energy. This was years ago, and I still remember what he was wearing. He wasn’t particularly tall or handsome. He was wearing a long overcoat which was ill fitting lol. Never ran into him again.

I wonder if only women have this kind of encounter, any man here who had similar feelings?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to get wildly flamed and derided for this, OP, but...

I've always thought that some people you meet are important and familiar because you knew them in other lives. Your energy comingled. Remember, energy never dies, it just moves on to new forms. So all of us carry the energy of those who died before us. The fact that you don't have an overwhelming sexual attraction to this man could mean he carries the energy of a brother or father in a past life. He was important and familiar then, so he feels important and familiar now.

You don't have to turn it into something sexual/romantic. Maybe he has appeared in your life for an entirely different reason.

I came here to say this too. The book Many Lives, Many Masters made me understand why we feel so connected or familiar with or repelled by certain people, even if we’ve just met them. I sense this is what’s happening here.