Am I being unfaithful? Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to get wildly flamed and derided for this, OP, but...

I've always thought that some people you meet are important and familiar because you knew them in other lives. Your energy comingled. Remember, energy never dies, it just moves on to new forms. So all of us carry the energy of those who died before us. The fact that you don't have an overwhelming sexual attraction to this man could mean he carries the energy of a brother or father in a past life. He was important and familiar then, so he feels important and familiar now.

You don't have to turn it into something sexual/romantic. Maybe he has appeared in your life for an entirely different reason.

I came here to say this too. The book Many Lives, Many Masters made me understand why we feel so connected or familiar with or repelled by certain people, even if we’ve just met them. I sense this is what’s happening here.

OP here, didn't anticipate this thread turning into one discussing reincarnation LOL. But I guess that makes a little sense...I am not sold though.

[Anonymous]

You have a crush on someone. That is okay.

Distract yourself and in time he will fade away.

(You realize that since you know SO little about him, you can pour any desires or fantasies you have into the empty vessel/chameleon that he is.) IRL, he would fall short, probably pretty quickly.

[Anonymous]

DIVORCE!

[Anonymous]

You're not being unfaithful and this is entirely normal. I think we meet people along the way that we have little sparks or connections with. Maybe as others said we knew them in a past life or there's a little chemistry there. Either way who cares? What you're doing is harmless and perfectly healthy and normal. It means you're alive! enjoy life, fantasize all you want and have fun with it (without acting on it).

[Anonymous]

It's a typical and frequent occurrence for me.

I don't feel guilty. It's part of being alive. I also know from when I was single and dating that these crushes don't necessarily translate to anything meaningful. They are just raging hormones, and it takes much more than these to make a successful long-lasting romantic relationship.

It helps that I am turned on by the littlest thing my DH does: says " hello", walks away and I glance at his bow legs, his elbow touches me in the middle of the night, we brush each other while trying to get dinner ready, etc. So I know that my crushes don't threaten my attraction and connection to my DH.

[Anonymous]

Well, call me completely cynical (and this take is not as lovely and wistful as the above takes) but I would actually steer clear of somebody like this. You sound like a very genuine person OP. Sometimes guys like this have a way of sniffing that out, and are sometimes not nice human beings. Sounds paranoid, but I question the mutuality of feelings like you’re describing. There are a lot of manipulative people out there, and sometimes they can sense receptiveness to their behavior. Ymmv. But no, you’re not cheating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had a similar experience (feeling the beginnings of having a crush on someone who was in a relationship and then dreaming about them). It freaked me out a bit, too, OP. I pretty much made a point to avoid that person in future and sort of redirect any conscious thoughts about them, but I refuse to feel guilty about my dreams. I can't control those. FWIW, I didn't dream about them again, and we moved a year later and now I just think of them as someone nice I used to know and honestly can't see the attraction any more. Like they weren't even that attractive!

Agree. Past lives and all that. Even if it isn’t (though no one can prove it isn’t)— energy, matter, a universe that is wholly unknown is bound to get entangled. I don’t believe it’s lights out in the end. The only relatable experience I’ve had, OP, was also a school thing. I was waiting in line for the math teacher at a middle school parent/teacher conference. He was waiting in the line next to me for a science teacher. We looked over at each other and smiled. Pure energy. I knew he felt the same thing. Was very weird because we didn’t talk or introduce ourselves. Just glanced much longer than normal. The long glance wasn’t because we thought we recognized one another. That was the weird part, it was a familiar energy. This was years ago, and I still remember what he was wearing. He wasn’t particularly tall or handsome. He was wearing a long overcoat which was ill fitting lol. Never ran into him again.

I wonder if only women have this kind of encounter, any man here who had similar feelings?

Women are always assigning men nuance and deeper feelings. There is sexual attraction/curiosity (that may be mild) and it is being signaled. I am guessing this pure energy isn’t illuminated between 75 year old Chicos wearing women and 35 year old men in finance.

[Anonymous]

Given the amount of mushy poetry written by hormonal men, I’m pretty sure both genders are prone to this…

It’s not a past life thing. It’s a reminder of something from our childhood. It’s a well researched psychological phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

I'll give it to you straight like I would a close girl friend. You're being a moron, OP. Put him out of your mind and remind yourself why you married DH in the first place.

[Anonymous]

You're not being unfaithful.
It's not a part life.
You saw a cute guy. Big whoop!
Now you're acting like a preteen girl who swears she and her celebrity crush are destined to be together because he said he liked blue in an interview.
You don't have a special connection. For all you know he could have had the runs and was worried about crapping his pants.
Move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to get laid.

Also attraction is normal. Fantasizing is normal too.

What crossed into problem territory is when you project meaning onto these feelings of attraction ie " sense of he meant something". " He felt shy too". That's projecting. Reality is you found a man who is not your husband. No big deal. Reality is also you have no idea what he is thinking or feeling.

The other issue is claiming you would never cheat. Yes I'm sure 99 %of people don't plan on it. But stuff happens especially when your guard is down and you foolishly think I'd never. How you guard against it is by staying in reality. He's cute and nice okay moving on. Not creating stories of how he's going to mean something to me or trying to be his friend.

I agree with this poster. Especially the part where you are projecting your feelings on this man. You have no idea what he is feeling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to get laid.

Also attraction is normal. Fantasizing is normal too.

What crossed into problem territory is when you project meaning onto these feelings of attraction ie " sense of he meant something". " He felt shy too". That's projecting. Reality is you found a man who is not your husband. No big deal. Reality is also you have no idea what he is thinking or feeling.

The other issue is claiming you would never cheat. Yes I'm sure 99 %of people don't plan on it. But stuff happens especially when your guard is down and you foolishly think I'd never. How you guard against it is by staying in reality. He's cute and nice okay moving on. Not creating stories of how he's going to mean something to me or trying to be his friend.

This☝️💯

[Anonymous]

Don't go on a slippery slope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm going to get wildly flamed and derided for this, OP, but...

I've always thought that some people you meet are important and familiar because you knew them in other lives. Your energy comingled. Remember, energy never dies, it just moves on to new forms. So all of us carry the energy of those who died before us. The fact that you don't have an overwhelming sexual attraction to this man could mean he carries the energy of a brother or father in a past life. He was important and familiar then, so he feels important and familiar now.

You don't have to turn it into something sexual/romantic. Maybe he has appeared in your life for an entirely different reason.

Well ... I kind of think the same thing.

[Anonymous]

He checked you out. You felt it, you liked it. Now you’re making up stories in your head because it feels good. That’s all it is. Nothing wrong with any of this as long as you stay on straight and narrow.