Do you think the mean kids get their comeuppance?

[Anonymous]

My kid is dealing with a bully right now. We are doing everything we can, but they keep getting away with it.


Do you think at some point the chronic "mean kids" get what they deserve? Or are they living a consequence-free existence?

[Anonymous]

Depends. If they are pretty or handsome and athletic and charming and socially manipulative, probably not. They will sail through life being a bro or mean girl.

But I don't think that should be your focus. What matters is how this is affecting your kid.

[Anonymous]

Some kids are mean at school because life sucks for them at home.

[Anonymous]

As pp said, your focus is in the wrong place. Support your kid. Likely the bully has had struggles of their own that have caused them to develop these tendencies. Each kid deserves support and love as they grow so they can be better adults.

It matters how you frame this for your kid, because they will encounter difficult people all through life.

[Anonymous]

No. Many cruel people get that way because they are enabled by family and others, and don't change because that enabling continues. There is no guarantee that a mean person will "pay" for their cruelty later in life.

[Anonymous]

No. Some grow out of it. I'm friends with a really nice girl at work and at one point I asked if she was one of the mean girls in HS and she admitted she was. But not everyone changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some kids are mean at school because life sucks for them at home.

So what. Some kids from horrible homes are not a-holes.

[Anonymous]

No, life just keeps favoring the mean kids.

The violent kids usually do get their due though.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I know I need to focus on my kid, I do, and I know that hoping for "payback" is fruitless, but I'm mostly curious. Why do they keep getting away with it? Will they have repercussions?

[Anonymous]

Who knows? Unless you're going to track a bully throughout their lifetime, who knows?

But living well is the best revenge.

[Anonymous]

Without details, we can't really help you, OP, in terms of school response to the bullying. Usually public schools are very proactive when you fill out the form and sit down for a meeting with the Principal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know I need to focus on my kid, I do, and I know that hoping for "payback" is fruitless, but I'm mostly curious. Why do they keep getting away with it? Will they have repercussions?

Because they're savvy. Bc their mom is president of the PTA or friends with the principal. Because they're good looking and people tend to assume better of better looking peeople. Pick one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know I need to focus on my kid, I do, and I know that hoping for "payback" is fruitless, but I'm mostly curious. Why do they keep getting away with it? Will they have repercussions?

Hopefully not - ideally they will receive empathy and guidance from trusted adults.

Your fixation is really misplaced here!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know I need to focus on my kid, I do, and I know that hoping for "payback" is fruitless, but I'm mostly curious. Why do they keep getting away with it? Will they have repercussions?

Because they're savvy. Bc their mom is president of the PTA or friends with the principal. Because they're good looking and people tend to assume better of better looking peeople. Pick one.

An adults get away with it for the same reasons: they are wealthy or well-connected or powerful or important or really good-looking or athletic or talented in some other way that causes people to excuse or put up with their bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I know I need to focus on my kid, I do, and I know that hoping for "payback" is fruitless, but I'm mostly curious. Why do they keep getting away with it? Will they have repercussions?

Hopefully not - ideally they will receive empathy and guidance from trusted adults.

Your fixation is really misplaced here!!

Yep.

"Mean" is also a matter of perspective sometimes. Not wanting to associate with someone is not mean unless you're the person who wants that friendship. Actively insulting someone of course is mean. But there's definitely a spectrum, like with most things.