8 year old son has extreme attachment to grandmother

[Anonymous]

Curious if anyone else has dealt with this? My mother lives in a different state, and we see her several times a year. My son, as the oldest grandchild on my side of the family, has always been particularly close and bonded with her. He and my daughter (5) spent the week with her this past week over the break and came home yesterday. My son was emotional and weepy last night over the thought of her leaving and then today when he face timed with her after playing with friends for most of the day, he had a total meltdown. We ended the FaceTime, and he is now upstairs crying hysterically calling for her. He has had weepy times before after we go our separate ways, and it is always a challenge. My husband is super weirded out by the extreme emotion and has been as it has ebbed and flowed over the years. I feel caught in the middle. Our daughter who was there all week came home perfectly fine and not a thing amiss. She is also less sensitive than our son. He is just our sensitive empath, but, this honestly feels extreme. Anyone else deal with this? Have thoughts on how far we are on the normal to bizarre spectrum? I assured our son we would see her again at some point, and that everything is fine, but, I don't know what else to do.

[Anonymous]

I think there’s a deeper spiritual connection than is typically there.

[Anonymous]

I remember bawling when my grandma left, at maybe around 7 or 8. I was a sensitive little kid, and I loved her very much. He sounds like a great kid.

[Anonymous]

He’s probably wrestling with the idea of losing her eventually.

[Anonymous]

My son also cries when we get home after a visit with his cousins. He is also very sensitive. It is exhausting.

[Anonymous]

OP this is not a normal reaction.

Talk to your pediatrician you need parenting help.

Being sensitive is not crying like that for leaving a grandparent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember bawling when my grandma left, at maybe around 7 or 8. I was a sensitive little kid, and I loved her very much. He sounds like a great kid.

OP here--he is a great kid! And we told him last night when things started up that it is okay to feel sad when people leave, and okay to miss people, but, that we need to work on controlling our emotions (ie not totally bawling hysterically and losing it if he thinks about her or face times with her). I'm on the more empathic end of the spectrum, but, this is a lot even to me, and my husband who is considerably less empathic and emotional is at an absolute loss and just gets extremely irritated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this is not a normal reaction.

Talk to your pediatrician you need parenting help.

Being sensitive is not crying like that for leaving a grandparent.

You are way overreacting. I used to cry at that age when we left my grandmother overseas. We only saw her once a year. I am an extremely empathetic person myself now. My parents didn’t need “parenting help” and the pediatrician wasn’t necessary for this at all.

[Anonymous]

I remember my son breaking out in sobs once because I put on Danny Boy for st Patrick’s day.

I was also extremely bonded to my grandmother. It was not really a major problem in my life. She only lived 1/2 hour for us so I did see her weekly, and I called her on the phone at least once a day when we weren’t together.

This problem is going to resolve over the next 5 years. In the meantime, let him call her, write her letters, send her pictures, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP this is not a normal reaction.

Talk to your pediatrician you need parenting help.

Being sensitive is not crying like that for leaving a grandparent.

^This is absurd. OP, this is normal for some kids - your son sounds lovely. It may be something that lessens over time as his world expands and he meets more people.

[Anonymous]

Protect your son from your DH's reactions. I'm guessing there will be times in his future where he will be made to feel like a freak because his dad has a different temperament and low empathy.

[Anonymous]

Op- this is so normal. My son who is 14 did this when he was 7 or 8. Now, he is 6’1 and barely shows his feelings!

[Anonymous]

He sounds wonderful and your husband sounds like an ass.

We need males with sensitivity in this world. Desperately.

[Anonymous]

Is Grandma feeding into this in any way? That would be my only concern.

Otherwise, just treat it like missing any close friend or relative. You may grieve a little! Plan another time to visit or talk. And let him feed his feelings.

[Anonymous]

Part of this may be that at Grandma's he is away from /off the schedule/school. I know you do the same at home over break but just that extra bit of being away can also feel very cozy. If school starts again for him tomorrow that can be in the mix too. Even if he likes school!