Andrew Tate influence

[Anonymous]

I am posting here about this because I am at my wit's end with my 18yo college freshman ds.

Over the break he has been questioning the point of college. He has started an 'online business' that I have through my research/snooping learned that it is some sort of scammy ecommerce website and he has joined an online community/learning group started by Andrew Tate call the Real World, which 'educates' people on how to do this. He doesn't know I know about the group he joined but no knowing what it is about is making the things ds has been saying/doing make sense.

Ds has also been echoing some of the other things Tate says about depression (that it is not real) and about the role of women in a relationship.

He has always been a gym person so I think this is where the AT attraction started with him this summer and it has spiraled in college as he is trying to figure out things. I honestly liken it to a cult. I need help figuring out how to get my ds to snap out of this. He goes to a great school, is very smart and driven. He needs redirecting but I am concerned voicing my real concerns about this will push him further into it. He is saying he wants to take a break from school and I think it is partly to see if he can get this 'business' going.

Is anyone else dealing with this? I feel like there needs to be an online support group out there of concerned moms bc from what I can tell my ds is not alone. I just think he is more into it than others. Tate is a pretty terrible person so I think there is some shame in this on my part as well and maybe others who don't want to talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Andrew Tate, Joe Rogan and Shapiro

Yes, it's an issue. You tell them hey this is nothing new we had Rush Limbaugh. They are all liars trying to make money, they're hacks.

They will push back because they are young and DAF.

Eventually they grow out of it, you hope. I had some people I know follow Rush for year even after he was proven to be a fraud.

BTW... lol

https://twitter.com/GretaThunberg/status/1608056944501178368?s=20&t=d8IS_Zgu3KUzZj0QagYJyA

[Anonymous]

Tate sells courses online about how to be successful like him.

But if he's so rich, why _sell_ those courses? Just give them away if the information is so great, and he doesn't need the money. Point that out to DS.

[Anonymous]

No advice just major major sympathy. This was one of my biggest fears with having a son. He has autism and struggles with a lot of things but buying into toxic masculinity isn’t one of them.

[Anonymous]

Its not going to be easy for you to take a boy away from a personality cult so not much point in trying and ruining your relationship.

Request some neutral person whom he respects to take him out for lunch (so he is captive audience for a while) and discuss this topic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Its not going to be easy for you to take a boy away from a personality cult so not much point in trying and ruining your relationship.

Request some neutral person whom he respects to take him out for lunch (so he is captive audience for a while) and discuss this topic.

Good advice. Find someone around his age he looks up to and he may listen to him.

[Anonymous]

This is such a huge problem for boys today. It’s so disturbing.

[Anonymous]

This is a major problem for teen boys now. It has to be fought from multiple levels. The person who described it as a cult is correct. The violent misogyny and spoiled entitlement of Tate is breathtaking. I also think he’s likely a total financial fraud, but that truth won’t come out for years.

I think the way to start combatting this is with the men in the family. I think boys who grow up with a father whose needs/wants are placed above the rest of the family are particularly vulnerable. Also kids whose fathers are disconnected or absentee, or families where the dad doesn’t respect the mom at all. I think Tate presents a version of the world that tries to make up for a lack of true emotional connection to men, and so one way to fight against it is to get the kid’s father deeply involved. I think in particular, men that the boys respect have to mock Tate’s fairly obvious fraud and hucksterism. I’m not sure a mom can pull a kid out of the Tate cult as easily, generally speaking.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you for these responses. His dad and I are divorced but his dad is a huge presence in his life and he has other male role models as well.

He and 2 of his hs buddies seem to be into this Tate stuff so there is peer pressure/influence/conformity as well. They want to do this 'company' together.

At this point in time I am most concerned with the effect it is having on his decision-making about college plans. I think that is also the part I can most influence at this time. Part of me thinks though maybe it will be a big life lesson if he actually leaves school and tries this money-making scheme and learns for himself he has been conned.

His dad will absolutely lose his mind if he does this though. I think while I am someone he can talk to about it (and keep my freaking out inside) he knows nobody else in the family will understand at all and will come at him hard.

[Anonymous]

Let him drop out and fail at his money making venture. Then he can blame women and minorities (because it will never be his fault). Hopefully someone deserving can get his seat in college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let him drop out and fail at his money making venture. Then he can blame women and minorities (because it will never be his fault). Hopefully someone deserving can get his seat in college

I am respectfully asking you and others to not make comments like this. I am here looking for help for a kid I feel is going down a dangerous path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you for these responses. His dad and I are divorced but his dad is a huge presence in his life and he has other male role models as well.

He and 2 of his hs buddies seem to be into this Tate stuff so there is peer pressure/influence/conformity as well. They want to do this 'company' together.

At this point in time I am most concerned with the effect it is having on his decision-making about college plans. I think that is also the part I can most influence at this time. Part of me thinks though maybe it will be a big life lesson if he actually leaves school and tries this money-making scheme and learns for himself he has been conned.

His dad will absolutely lose his mind if he does this though. I think while I am someone he can talk to about it (and keep my freaking out inside) he knows nobody else in the family will understand at all and will come at him hard.

In all honesty, you need to get his dad involved. He needs a man that he respects to call him an idiot for falling for a fraud. I’m sorry to be blunt, but he is telling you about this precisely because he doesn’t value your opinion (which is what Tate preaches). And when he fails, he’ll blame you (because that is also what Tate teaches — failure is always the fault of the women in a man’s life, never his own fault). You need his dad, since he has a close relationship to his dad, to mock him for falling for a con man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you for these responses. His dad and I are divorced but his dad is a huge presence in his life and he has other male role models as well.

He and 2 of his hs buddies seem to be into this Tate stuff so there is peer pressure/influence/conformity as well. They want to do this 'company' together.

At this point in time I am most concerned with the effect it is having on his decision-making about college plans. I think that is also the part I can most influence at this time. Part of me thinks though maybe it will be a big life lesson if he actually leaves school and tries this money-making scheme and learns for himself he has been conned.

His dad will absolutely lose his mind if he does this though. I think while I am someone he can talk to about it (and keep my freaking out inside) he knows nobody else in the family will understand at all and will come at him hard.

In all honesty, you need to get his dad involved. He needs a man that he respects to call him an idiot for falling for a fraud. I’m sorry to be blunt, but he is telling you about this precisely because he doesn’t value your opinion (which is what Tate preaches). And when he fails, he’ll blame you (because that is also what Tate teaches — failure is always the fault of the women in a man’s life, never his own fault). You need his dad, since he has a close relationship to his dad, to mock him for falling for a con man.

Yes, his dad is aware of the Tate influence but I am not sure he is aware of the extent of it. He will if/when ds tells him he wants to leave school. I am definitely doing the bulk of the emotional labor on this issue right now though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you for these responses. His dad and I are divorced but his dad is a huge presence in his life and he has other male role models as well.

He and 2 of his hs buddies seem to be into this Tate stuff so there is peer pressure/influence/conformity as well. They want to do this 'company' together.

At this point in time I am most concerned with the effect it is having on his decision-making about college plans. I think that is also the part I can most influence at this time. Part of me thinks though maybe it will be a big life lesson if he actually leaves school and tries this money-making scheme and learns for himself he has been conned.

His dad will absolutely lose his mind if he does this though. I think while I am someone he can talk to about it (and keep my freaking out inside) he knows nobody else in the family will understand at all and will come at him hard.

In all honesty, you need to get his dad involved. He needs a man that he respects to call him an idiot for falling for a fraud. I’m sorry to be blunt, but he is telling you about this precisely because he doesn’t value your opinion (which is what Tate preaches). And when he fails, he’ll blame you (because that is also what Tate teaches — failure is always the fault of the women in a man’s life, never his own fault). You need his dad, since he has a close relationship to his dad, to mock him for falling for a con man.

Yes, his dad is aware of the Tate influence but I am not sure he is aware of the extent of it. He will if/when ds tells him he wants to leave school. I am definitely doing the bulk of the emotional labor on this issue right now though.

If you are on good terms with his dad, I think you may want to bring him in more on this.

The thing with the Tate cult is that it has no response to mockery. And that’s the only thing that will break through. Rational arguments aren’t going to sway someone who has already bought the hype of an obvious fraudster. The mockery of a man that your son respects will have an impact the way nothing else does. I do not think you can extricate him on your own.

Also, if he does this and then fails, and his dad hasn’t been involved (“aware” is not “involved”), you’ll take the blame entirely. Tate cultists never blame themselves for their failures. It’s always the fault of a woman in their lives.

[Anonymous]

Just show him the incredibly cringey response Tate tweeted to Greta Thunberg. He is getting dragged all over the internet