If a kid is being mean to your kid, do you talk to the parents about it?

[Anonymous]

Let’s say your kid is in 1st 2nd of third grade and says a kid has been mean to him in class, and yih are acquaintances with the mom. Do you let her know or tell the teacher or ignore and advise your kid to talk to other people?

[Anonymous]

I would advise my child to talk to the teacher and ask for help at that age. I would talk through with my kids what to say. If that didn't work, I'd have a conversation with the teacher myself.

Don't talk to the mom directly.

[Anonymous]

It depends on what it is but I have never gone farther than advising my son on how to handle the disagreement. I can imagine saying something to my friend if it was something really cruel. I'd compare it to physical harm; I have told a parent when another kid threw a giant rock at my kid and made a huge bruise. If one kid lightly shoved mine, I encourage the kids to work it out.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would advise my child to talk to the teacher and ask for help at that age. I would talk through with my kids what to say. If that didn't work, I'd have a conversation with the teacher myself.

Don't talk to the mom directly.

PP again. And if you raise to the teacher, frame as I am not there and don't have full picture but this is what my child is reporting as happening. What are you seeing?

Not Susie is being mean to my Sally. You never know what's really going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would advise my child to talk to the teacher and ask for help at that age. I would talk through with my kids what to say. If that didn't work, I'd have a conversation with the teacher myself.

Don't talk to the mom directly.

PP again. And if you raise to the teacher, frame as I am not there and don't have full picture but this is what my child is reporting as happening. What are you seeing?

Not Susie is being mean to my Sally. You never know what's really going on.

+100

I made that mistake and it did not go well!

[Anonymous]

Can you strike up a conversation with the mom at pickup and ask her how the kids are doing? At least then you’ll know if she’s aware of the situation.

[Anonymous]

If it's physical, I'd involve the parents. Otherwise, I let my child handle it. Kids are mean to each other all the time; I have no interest in fighting all of those petty battles with parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

Yep. Not sure how that wasn't clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would advise my child to talk to the teacher and ask for help at that age. I would talk through with my kids what to say. If that didn't work, I'd have a conversation with the teacher myself.

Don't talk to the mom directly.

PP again. And if you raise to the teacher, frame as I am not there and don't have full picture but this is what my child is reporting as happening. What are you seeing?

Not Susie is being mean to my Sally. You never know what's really going on.

This is exactly what I've done. The teacher then knows to keep an extra eye on them. I'd also work with my kid about how to handle it. I wouldn't talk to the parents of the other kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can you strike up a conversation with the mom at pickup and ask her how the kids are doing? At least then you’ll know if she’s aware of the situation.

Not necessarily. She might not bring it up in response to that question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

Yep. Not sure how that wasn't clear.

This sucks and is inappropriate.

Someone did this to my kid in 4th grade. Went up to him at school and told him to stop "picking on" her daughter. Facts are her daughter was the instigator and a known bully. To everyone apparently except her own mother. I was PISSED. I told my son if this woman ever spoke to him again in any setting to tell me immediately and I'd report her to the principal.

Do not go up to other people's children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. I talk to the kid directly.

You talk to other people's children directly you mean?

Yep. Not sure how that wasn't clear.

This sucks and is inappropriate.

Someone did this to my kid in 4th grade. Went up to him at school and told him to stop "picking on" her daughter. Facts are her daughter was the instigator and a known bully. To everyone apparently except her own mother. I was PISSED. I told my son if this woman ever spoke to him again in any setting to tell me immediately and I'd report her to the principal.

Do not go up to other people's children.

Do not bother to tell me what to do. It won't be effective. If I see a kid being mean to my kid, I will say something right then to the kid if their parent either isn't there or isn't doing their job.

[Anonymous]

You talk to your kid, and the teacher and counselor. Don't talk to their parents, that never goes well. What do you mean by "being mean"?