Tween is tall and skinny but with a soft belly

[Anonymous]

She says she wants to get a flat tummy. She’s active but doesn’t exercise or train hard. What would you recommend? I do an intense hiit/strength class that she could join with me? I honestly never tried to get rid of my pooch and I’m naturally thin as well. She eats a very balanced diet that includes a lot of veggies and pretty regular dessert. Thanks!

[Anonymous]

She’s a tween. Wth does she need a flat tummy for?

[Anonymous]

I would emphasize that it’s totally normal and feminine for a young woman to have a soft lower belly. That’s it. Dieting or intense exercise is not something you want to encourage in any way in an already skinny tween girl. No way.

[Anonymous]

Do nothing. She eats well/balanced, is a heathy weight and is active. Don’t let her be a slave to diet and exercise with the end goal being a particular shape that is unattainable. Some people are thicker in the middle, some have bigger hips, focus on her being heathy- which it sounds like she is. So…reinforce that and do nothing

[Anonymous]

Yes, she needs to have a realistic understanding of bodies.

[Anonymous]

Just let it be. If she pursues it, maybe ask if she wants you to show her some Pilates style core exercises or do a Pilates video together. My tween son has a lot of energy to burn so I help him come up with lists of body weight exercises he can do in sequence at home.

[Anonymous]

You can’t be serious, OP.

[Anonymous]

Just let her me and don't encourage to exercise and do anything to change the shape of her body. FWIW, my husband and I are regular exercisers and very in shape and no way would we tell our kids that it's ok to do a certain exercise just to get flat abs or whatever.

My kids play a lot of sports and any extra exercises that they want to do has to have a functional purpose, such as to improve in a certain sports skill, etc., and not for vanity purposes.

You are setting her on a destructive path of diets and self esteem issues if you she is only putting effort in certain exercises for vanity purposes and not for overall health, strength, and fitness goals.

[Anonymous]

I sympathize, because all the tweens seem to be wearing half shirts and it can be a cruel age. You need to educate her that it’s not important, but if she really cares she can do some ab exercises. Teach her to be kind about other girls’ appearance while you are at it.

[Anonymous]

It's just body type. My weight has gone up and down but I've always carried a lower belly pooch. Don't make her think that her goal should be to change her body shape, that will never work

[Anonymous]

Do not encourage this. Generally exercising and being in shape, yes. But it's normal for women to have bellies, especially kids who are still growing. My mom used to know that I was about to hit a growth spurt because I'd get a potbelly, which would vanish when I shot up 3 inches.

[Anonymous]

You don't take her to work out classes for the LOVE OF GOD. You reinforce (all the time) that all bodies are good bodies. Soft bellies are more prevalent than not and make sure she's not only following skinny white stick girls on social media.

I repeat: all bodies are good bodies.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have to “train hard” to be a viable human.

[Anonymous]

If you do Pilates at home she might be into joining you. That’s an excellent way to protect her body and build resilience.

[Anonymous]

My mom likes to point out when I'm getting chubby. I don't particularly like it, though!! LOL. But even when I'm at my thinnest (a size 2-4) my lower belly is still a little soft, b/c ... I'm a woman!! Past boyfriends and husbands have really loved that little pooch, though.