When you have family in town, do you pay for everything?

[Anonymous]

Such as dinners out, movies etc?

[Anonymous]

No.

I also don’t expect family to pay for everything for me when I’m staying with them.

[Anonymous]

When we visit MIL and SIL, we pay for all meals we have with them (we stay in a hotel). MIL has way more money than we do but she likes it when others pay.

[Anonymous]

No, we awkwardly share the burden. I intend to pay.

[Anonymous]

Not everything but most things. Like I might not pay for movies but I’d definitely pay for dinners out.

[Anonymous]

I try to but oftentimes, someone tries to pick up the check or contribute in some way.

[Anonymous]

We pay for 95% of everything when my family visits us, when we visit them, or when we vacation together. My family is poor and I am not (anymore).

[Anonymous]

No, not necessarily (whether we are visiting them or vice versa). On both sides of the family, we tend to take turns yet not keep score either (if that makes sense). It is never expected that someone else will be paying unless stated upfront for some reason.

If MIL visits us alone, we always pay for everything (having separate check would be weird) but she will often insist on paying for a meal out at some point, and we accept. If another family is visiting (BIL and family for example) we tend to take turns paying because it is about the same number of people per family. , it kind of depends.

We are lucky that everyone is considerate (can’t think of a time when there has been an issue) and things relatively even out.

[Anonymous]

Op here,

DH thinks it ridiculous that we pay every time. I am more than happy to pay because we usually suggest the restaurants. I don’t want to spring a $400 tab on someone who may have been A ok with going to Olive Garden. Even if they pick a place, I usually intend to pick up the tab.

In laws are in town and this weekend, we have spent about $1000. DH thinks that’s outlandish but it also included groceries for them in the house and their Ubers.

[Anonymous]

When my kids visit yes. When my siblings visit no. My kids will offer to pay but I rarely let them. My siblings will offer and I often let them.

[Anonymous]

Depends on who it is. My parents visiting, yes, we will pay for restaurants and such.

My sister, nah, we can split although perhaps we get one dinner.

[Anonymous]

We pay for everything when family visits, whether it's parents/siblings/cousins. And they pay for everything when we visit. I'm Asian, and I've noticed that white families are more likely to go Dutch when dining out, going to the movies, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We pay for everything when family visits, whether it's parents/siblings/cousins. And they pay for everything when we visit. I'm Asian, and I've noticed that white families are more likely to go Dutch when dining out, going to the movies, etc.

I have noticed this as well.

[Anonymous]

Groceries to stock up the fridge, food delivery if I don’t feel like cooking for my family and tickets to things we are doing as a group. But I don’t like for people to expect me to pay, so I don’t pay for everything. I normally have a few things I won’t try to pay for, like if they are running into a coffee shop to grab everyone coffee, etc.

[Anonymous]

With my mom, we pay for everything, though she can afford it, but she doesn’t like to pay for us, and with my FIL, he and me DH usually fight over who gets to pay.