When boys are ordered around by pushy girls

[Anonymous]

My boy is almost 8. Very sweet natured. At the playground he got off his swing to help another child. Two sisters came over and one “took” his swing. I say “took” bc she didn’t climb on, she had a hand on it, like him. She was younger (like 5), boy is 6. He said “hey I’m using this” and her sister, maybe 7/8 said “no- you use that one” (that one being the crappy one no one wanted). I wanted him to work it out himself but wasn’t even sure what words to give him. He’s an older and taller boy and I didn’t want anyone to think he was being mean to a little girl. He ended up just standing next to me and I sai “ well she won’t be on forever” and we waited for them to leave. Wwyd?

[Anonymous]

“Boy is 6” should say “maybe 6”

[Anonymous]

Nothing

[Anonymous]

Good preparation for the future, which is female.

[Anonymous]

This really isn't about gender. It's not like you'd advise him to punch the other kid if it was a boy or anything. He's seven, and he's dealing with another seven-year-old. He got off the swing, and you can't "save" a swing on the playground. He got off, another kid came to take a turn, he can either use the less-desirable swing or he can wait until they are done.

[Anonymous]

Oh my

Land the helicopter lady.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good preparation for the future, which is female.

FACTS.

[Anonymous]

There are pushy people everywhere, OP. My quiet, gentle child was bullied in elementary by boys, and bullied in middle school by one girl. Both were dealt with promptly. Keep teaching him to use his words. "You'll have a turn when I'm done" would have been the correct thing to say if he was first on the swing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This really isn't about gender. It's not like you'd advise him to punch the other kid if it was a boy or anything. He's seven, and he's dealing with another seven-year-old. He got off the swing, and you can't "save" a swing on the playground. He got off, another kid came to take a turn, he can either use the less-desirable swing or he can wait until they are done.

Yes. No other answer needed here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This really isn't about gender. It's not like you'd advise him to punch the other kid if it was a boy or anything. He's seven, and he's dealing with another seven-year-old. He got off the swing, and you can't "save" a swing on the playground. He got off, another kid came to take a turn, he can either use the less-desirable swing or he can wait until they are done.

Assuming they had equal claim to it bc they both had a hand on it, what I’m seeking is words to deal with the “No you take that one” order.

[Anonymous]

Girls are conditioned from early on now to speak up and don’t let anyone stand in their way - which is great! Your son needs to do the same. However, it’s not a good for a boy to learn to be aggressive around girls. My sons know when a girl says something they say ok. It’s never too early for them to learn to back off and not fight/ push back. I don’t want them in a he said/ she said situation. No matter how small - swings included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are pushy people everywhere, OP. My quiet, gentle child was bullied in elementary by boys, and bullied in middle school by one girl. Both were dealt with promptly. Keep teaching him to use his words. "You'll have a turn when I'm done" would have been the correct thing to say if he was first on the swing.

Thank you those are good words!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Girls are conditioned from early on now to speak up and don’t let anyone stand in their way - which is great! Your son needs to do the same. However, it’s not a good for a boy to learn to be aggressive around girls. My sons know when a girl says something they say ok. It’s never too early for them to learn to back off and not fight/ push back. I don’t want them in a he said/ she said situation. No matter how small - swings included.

Interested in other thoughts on this perspective- I did tell him I saw and I know it was frustrating but he had to let it go bc I didn’t want any negative optics with a smaller girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This really isn't about gender. It's not like you'd advise him to punch the other kid if it was a boy or anything. He's seven, and he's dealing with another seven-year-old. He got off the swing, and you can't "save" a swing on the playground. He got off, another kid came to take a turn, he can either use the less-desirable swing or he can wait until they are done.

Assuming they had equal claim to it bc they both had a hand on it, what I’m seeking is words to deal with the “No you take that one” order.

He was swinging, then he got off the swing. He can't hang on to it until he's ready to use it again. The other kid was within her rights to use it. And he either says, "No, I was on that," or he sucks it up. But if he says the former, the other kid is going to say, "But you got off, so your turn is over." And she'll be right.

Also, land the helicopter. This is 100 percent normal playground interaction. No one is hurting anyone or bullying anyone, and this is the sort of negotiation kids need to learn how to handle on their own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This really isn't about gender. It's not like you'd advise him to punch the other kid if it was a boy or anything. He's seven, and he's dealing with another seven-year-old. He got off the swing, and you can't "save" a swing on the playground. He got off, another kid came to take a turn, he can either use the less-desirable swing or he can wait until they are done.

Assuming they had equal claim to it bc they both had a hand on it, what I’m seeking is words to deal with the “No you take that one” order.

Well, she asserted herself first. Why shouldn’t he take the other one? What makes your son so special?